Why am I still having sugar withdrawals? Hasn't it already been forever? Why I am so dead tired? I was over the exhaustion by day 9 last time. Of course, last time I hadn't eaten an entire king-size candy bar by myself just before I detoxed. But it was an Oreo candy bar! And it was covered in British chocolate! I don't regret it.
Ok, maybe a little.
I am tired and cranky and don't want anyone or anything to touch me.
Today was just a giant test of my patience. I tried so hard to be calm, kind and respectful. I mostly succeeded. Right before lunch Drek realized I was about to explode and carefully tried to defuse me. Other than that little episode I think I did a good job. Today I didn't yell and I didn't speak with anger.
Mostly I tried to avoid talking in general.
I'm really holding on the memory of how awesome I felt in November when I was off all sugar. I remember feeling so patient and alert and full of energy. I keep thinking that as soon as I feel that way again, this goal to go a year with no yelling will be so much easier. I just have to make it a few more days.
Was it the Oreo Milka? Those are amazing.
ReplyDeleteYes, it was an Oreo Milka! It was amazing!
DeleteI have nothing but admiration for the goals you are setting for yourself! You go!
ReplyDeleteDoes yelling enthusiastically count as yelling? Maybe I should stop using exclamation points. :)
Do you have a distraction or a different outlet? Is that beneficial? I haven't done the research you have so I am genuinely curious. I know that when you are training a dog it is far easier to train it to do something else INSTEAD rather than having it just stop doing the unwanted behavior. Some people do something similar, like chewing gum whenever they want to smoke.
ReplyDeleteWould that work with yelling? Like, when you want to yell, whisper, when you get mad, go touch something (like having a scented keychain you have to touch), stuff like that?
When I am angry I have found that just thinking how silly it is to be angry only works about half the time, and it doesn't stop me from getting caught in a negative thought spiral for a while. Sometimes I am just angry for a while. I have tried numerous things to knock it off (forcing my face to smile, singing a happy song, counting how many good things happened this week), but sometimes anger just happens.
I am curious if you have had similar experiences or fall back on similar outlets.
That is a great idea! I like the idea of whispering instead of yelling, I'm just not sure I can remember in the heat of the moment. Hmmm...
DeleteMilka is not British. How dare you. ;-)
ReplyDeleteIt's not? I swear that Milka logo is on British Chocolate, that's why it jumped out at me in the store and the taste did not disappoint!
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