We're Always Behind this Metal and Glass. I Think We Miss That Touch So Much, That We Crash Into Each Other, Just So We Can Feel Something

Last month I went to the post office first thing in the morning. It's one of those places that is too far to walk and the bus doesn't go there, so I drove (although this was before my No Drive Week). I mailed my stuff, buckled Ash into her carseat, got in the driver's seat, (miraculously) buckled my seatbelt, backed out of the parking stall into the aisle, and then had to wait. I stopped to wait for a car in front of me. While I was stopped a truck began to back out of their parking space. I honked to let her know I was behind her, but she kept coming, so I laid on my horn. She crashed into us leaving a huge scrape on the side of our car, a big dent, no door handle and the taillight hanging off. Her truck had a tiny scratch on the bumper.

In this blog post, I was in another car accident. I was a passenger in a friend's car and again, we were not moving. We were stopped at a red light and were hit from behind. Two years ago Jasmine was parked in a parking lot (I was not in the car at the time) when another car backed into her. That's three accidents in a little over three years where I WAS NOT MOVING. Does this prove it's harder to hit a moving target? I think it proves that even though I consider myself a bad driver, at least I have never CAUSED an accident. So other people must be worse drivers than me.

Anyway, not a bad accident; I was not moving. She was going slow, everyone was buckled in. She was really nice. She apologized, gave me all her insurance info, her name, phone number, address and driver's licence number. But not her licence plate or VIN number and I didn't think to get it from her. We didn't call the police because she said Sunland cops don't respond to no-injury accidents and I was dumb enough to believe her (but also, I hate cops, especially Sunland cops so I'm not saying I was hard to convince). The next day I talked with her insurance company, did all the claim stuff, filled out papers, got my car inspected blah blah blah. All that boring crap that goes along with car accidents. A few days later they called to inform me that although they insure the driver, she was not driving her car; the car they insure, so they will not be paying for anything. At that point I was told I needed to call her and get the car's owner's info. Except she won't return my phone calls (of course). Our car is broken. It's drivable but ugly and we can't open the back door. Also, I need a new carseat for Ash since this one was in an accident. These things are being taken care of very slowly, with dozens of phone calls to my insurance company made while Ash is sleeping.

The odd part is, even this accident was in no way my fault. I feel guilty. I feel like I knew better than to be out driving, using a car, killing the planet, and even that I, personally, should not be driving, because I feel I am not a good driver. That's why I hate driving. I feel guilty when I drive. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I feel like I'm sneaking around behind the cop's back. Why do I feel that way?

Metal shop? Oh, Miss Nalca's Interpretive Dance, Two Semesters. I Was Usually in the Back Because of My Weak Ankles

Today I drove to a birthday party for a friend (the bus doesn't go there and it's too far to walk). While sitting at a red traffic light the car next to me honked their horn and I was startled to see the man driving the car had his window down, was leaning out, and was trying to tell me something. I hesitated, unsure what to do in such a situation. He was young looking, tan, with sunglasses on and he didn't seem angry, so I rolled down my passenger window.
"Is your name K La?" He asked. I was stunned.
"K la Maidenname?" He said. I was slightly nervous at this point.
"Don't you recognize me? It's me!" He said his name and then, in fact, I did recognize him. More from his voice than his looks. He was a boy I went to High school with, we lived a few blocks away form each other. How weird that we run into each other sitting in traffic in Sunland. Crazy.

I Can't! I Lost the Defuser Gun When I Misplaced the Invisible Car

And so ends my self-imposed No Driving Week.

Thursday I needed to go to a non-grocery store. The store is only about a mile away, and there is a bus, but the bus would only take me the last quarter mile: kind of a waste. So I put Ash in the jogging stroller and went for a walk.

It was surprising. When you walk, you see things that you don't see while driving. I discovered that my city is very walking-friendly. The sidewalks are extra wide (and don't randomly end like in Burgville) there are always cross walks, and I even found a walking path next to the sidewalk that took you along park benches and trees in case you wanted to go the scenic route. Speaking of scenic route, I'm amazed how much of this city is not-city. I found a beautiful waterfall surrounded by palm trees, a brook that ran along a forest, and dozens of trees and bushes in random places. It's just beautiful!

We got to the store, got what we needed, and walked back. I have no idea how long we took, but I know it was a lot longer than if we had used a car. I also know the next time I need to go, I'll just walk. It made for a much more enjoyable day.

Friday a friend picked us up and we went to the outlets for some shoe-shopping. She dropped us back off at home at the end. It was a nice outing, but she did have to go out of her way to pick us up and drop us off. I think that is the main problem of not driving: it forces other people to pick up the slack.

I liked this week a lot. I liked taking the bus, I liked walking, I liked how I felt like I got to spend more time with Ash. When we were waiting for the bus or going for a walk, we would talk and play and tickle. I can never do that while I'm driving. It made me feel like a better mom. It also made me feel like in better shape, since I was walking so much, and like a better citizen of earth, since I was reducing emissions.

The downsides are obvious: Cars are freedom. That's why they are so popular. Without a car you can't just go when you want, you have to plan around bus routes, walking time, weather and other's schedules. Still, I don't really mind that. I think the benefits far outweigh the extra planning. Like I said: the problem is that I feel like I'm punishing others. There are some places that are too far to walk and the bus can't take me: the ocean, the library, friend's houses. If I want to go to those places, or if other people want me to go to those places, they have to come get me, and that's just annoying. I have awesome friends who have volunteered to take me places, but can I really ask them to spend extra gas money because I don't want to? The answer is no. If I got me driver's licence taken away, or if I lost my car, sure. But just because I don't want to drive? No.

So, I think I will take the bus to go grocery shopping (as long as I remember my purse). I will walk to the store and anywhere else I can. For now, I will keep the car and use it only to go places I cannot go on the bus and are too far to walk. For now.

Who Needs a Car in L.A.? We Have the Best Public Transportation System in the World

I hate driving. I really, really, do. For a while now I've been looking into alternatives. This week was declared "no driving week" and I've tried to stick to it. Monday was easy: I didn't go anywhere. Tuesday Anna drove me to a fun outing, but today was different. Today I needed to go grocery shopping.

So I used Google maps to plan my route using Sunland Public transportation (har har. Yeah, I know, it's on oxymoron). The good part was is the bus stop is close, and has a route directly to a grocery store. The bad part is the bus only comes once per hour, so if you miss a bus it's an hour long wait.

Today I hoped to make the 9:06 bus so I left the house all ready to go shopping when I left to walk to a doctor's appointment. Sadly, the appointment went longer than expected, so I missed the 9:06 bus. I went home, Ash got into the backpack, we played, cleaned and then headed out the door. We found the stop, waited, boarded the correct bus, paid in exact change and got off at the correct stop. I was just beginning to feel accomplished and self sufficient, when I opened my backpack and discovered I had forgotten to re-pack my purse. Meaning I didn't have any money for groceries, or for the return bus ride. Oh noes.

Thankfully Mandy had called me before I left and told me to call her if I got stuck. I was stuck, so I called her. She came to my rescue and saved the day. I finished grocery shopping and since the bus didn't come for another thirty minutes Ash and I hung out in the pet store looking at birds and mice and chinchillas. Afterward I once again found the correct bus stop, boarded the correct bus, paid in exact change and got off at the correct stop. It was a successful day, I just wish I wasn't so scatterbrained. Yeash.

But it was good enough that I will do it again. I think the bus is a great way to get the few places on the bus route. For everything else: well, that's still a problem.

Don't Worry About It. We Use Recyclable Clothes Now. Wear Them Once, Then Eat Them

As promised, more information about my church calling:

First off, as I have mentioned before, I love my calling. I am the ward bulletin coordinator, which means I make those paper programs. Before I was called, I remember looking at the ward program every week, seeing the full page folded in half, and trying to calculate how many trees died so we would all know who was speaking. Needless to say, I was excited when they gave me my knew calling, and right away I asked if I could make a few changes, starting with shrinking the program down to half a page.

"As long as you can get all the information on there and the font is still big enough that the elderly in the ward can read it, you're good." was the response.

So, I put the schedule on one side, the announcements on the other, and left out the directory (hello, it's online now!) and the cute little picture. Alas, I was told that the directory HAD to be included every week. After a few weeks of struggling with this, I came upon a very old program from a BYU student ward. It was amazing. It was a quarter page, with one side having a nice picture, and to the side of the picture a simple schedule. I mean simple as in, instead of this across the whole page:

YOUTH SPEAKER...................................................John Smith

CLOSING PRAYER..................................................Jane Smith

It had this:

Speaker: John Smith

Prayer: Jane Smith

indented to the right. It was simple and beautiful. I loved it. The next week I adopted it. Not the quarter page, ours is still half a page, but all the info is there, it looks awesome, and the bishopric approves! Hooray!

My next task was to collect a few buckets from grocery store bakeries, label them as recycle bins, and post them outside the doors every week. I started this three weeks ago and this last week I got some real results! I'm so excited! I feel like I'm making a difference! I love my calling!

With Water the Temperature of Lava, One Side to be White Hot Heat for Scarring, the Weight to Cause Blunt Force Trauma...

When Drek went to school, and later, when he worked from home, he lived in shorts and T-shirts from DI. Now that he has a "grown-up" job with an office and everything, we made an effort to go to a store and buy new dress pants, button-up shirts, and belts. He wears these new clothes to work and he looks good. Really good. My husband is amazingly good-looking. Those clothing companies should pay him to wear their clothes, he looks so good.

The only drawback is now that he has nice clothes, we're supposed to keep them nice. That involves sorting laundry, reading tags and (gulp) ironing.

I have ironed before. I iron creases when I sew and for a while I ironed a boyfriend's BDU's. But I've never really learned how to iron.

A friend let us borrow their ironing board and iron and I set about watching YouTube ironing instructionals. I was kind of having fun with it. It made me feel all wife-y. As I was ironing I thought to myself "And my husband will know I love because his clothes are all nice and wrinkle-free. And everyone who seems him looking so nice will know he has a wife who loves him." And I was happy to be learning a new skill and taking care of my husband.

After a few pairs of pants, I switched to shirts. At this point, I made the mistake of reading the comments. I HATE online comments. Especially Youtube comments. People are so, so stupid. Anyway, the very first comment I read was "That women knows her place." (referring to the women in the ironing instructional) Suddenly, my attitude changed. I thought to myself: "What am I doing? My lazy husband can iron his OWN freaking clothes. How dare he take advantage of me like this! I should NOT be learning how to iron, I should be learning how to dismantle a nuclear warhead. How DARE my husband force me to iron. He makes me do EVERYTHING for him! I'm amazed he even gets himself dressed in the morning. Stupid men, always taking advantage of us women. Stupid, lazy, good-for-nothing men."

You see why I hate comments?

It took me a good three hours to calm down. My poor husband.

But I learned how to iron! I am ironing again today. I think I like it. I will continue to iron my husband's clothes to show my love for him. Just don't make any snide comments or I might iron your face.

Tuesday Ash came down with the flu. In three hours, I had been thrown up on four times and pooped on once. And then Drek came home from work. Ah, the joys of parenting.

Wednesday Ash was sick with a fever. She needed to sleep, but wouldn't sleep unless I was holding her. So, all day we cuddled, napped, and I watched six episodes of Next Generation. I was supposed to be cleaning; Drek's family is coming into town, but instead I just enjoyed that fact that my baby was actually cuddling with me. Is it horrible of me to say I loved her being sick? It was like having a newborn again. It was like having a baby that likes me to hold her. It was fun to push all other obligations and responsibilities aside and just give her exactly what she needed, no exceptions. I loved that.

Today she is better. Not back to her normal self, but she is back to hating cuddling and is well enough to scream when she doesn't get her way. I'm grateful for her good health, but I can be grateful she was sick, too?

Pop! Goes My Heart

On Saturday we had a big Valentines party. It went really well. Anna and I decided do the same thing for food that we did last year, so we had a chocolate fountain (Hooray!) and cheese fondue. Instead of doing all the food ourselves, we asked the guests to bring different things, which worked out really well since the food we needed was super easy: a bag of pretzels, a box of graham crackers, steamed broccoli, bread, fruit...

I made the cookies to dip in the chocolate fountain. Peanut butter, mint chip, and chocolate:

Everyone brought food and it turned out amazing:

Anna decided to do an Alfredo sauce instead of a cheesy sauce, and it was perfect! Everything was delicious and there was way more food than we could eat.

I planned the games, so I asked every couple to send me a story about how they met, or how he proposed, or their first kiss, or something romantic like that. i read the stories out loud over dinner, and everyone had to guess which story belonged to which couple. After that I gave each couple a list of couples from books, movies, TV and real life and they had to name where they were from.

Mandy brought Valentines day crafts for the kids, which was amazing. All the kids had a great time at the craft table. We tied a balloon to all the kid's legs and they chased each other to try and pop the other's balloons while protecting their own.

We played a game where as a group we had to answer Valentine's Day trivia questions and race to the correct room. The kids LOVED that game, with all the running around. It was great.

Then we played a sort of soccer game, where the individuals in a couple were handcuffed together and we played with an enormous exercise ball. We had to end that game a little early since the little kids wanted to play and it go really dangerous. I was afraid one of the babies would be trampled. But all in all, it was a great party.

For Valentine's Day I made eggs in the shape of a heart for Drek and Ash. That night we went on a picnic to the park and swung on the swings. It was very nice.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

That's a Lot of Hair. She's Growing It Out

It is a dream of mine to have waist ling hair. I have had this dream ever since I was a little girl, but, although most people would say I usually have long hair, it has never grown as long as I would like, due to a series of hair disasters: my five year old older sister finding scissors and deciding to give me a hair cut, going swimming so often my hair turned green, dying my hair black several times for several months then trying to dye to brown, resulting in a clown-orange horror... All of this is not helped by the fact that my hair does not grow fast. I don't know the average speed of hair growth, but I'm sure my hair grows slower than most. I KNOW my hair grows slower than my amazing cousin, M. Rose, who has grown her hair out, cut it all off and donated it to Locks of Love SEVERAL times. Really, she is amazing.

Anyway, the point is I've been trying to grow my hair out. After a year and a half with no cuts or trims, my hair was looking... hirsute? Is that redundant? Fine, we'll say disheveled. So I asked my amazing sister-in-law if she would trim my hair. She did, and it looked great. She cut off around three inches, but my hair was still long and looked crisp and clean. That was last week. This morning as I was doing my hair, I looked at the length and thought "my hair looks great. It looks even and long. Hooray."

So you know disaster was about to strike.

For five weeks now, I have been doing the paper programs for my church. I am the person who collects announcements, the names of the speakers, the hymns we are going to sing, and then arranges them nicely on paper, makes a hundred copies, and hands them out before church. That is my calling. I love it.

One of the reasons I love my calling is my ability to implement change. instead of giving each family a full sheet of paper folded in half, I have rearranged the program to be a half-sheet of paper, thus reducing the amount of paper used and saving a few trees in the process. I'll save the details for another post. The point is, for five weeks now, I have printed off the copies and then used the church's huge paper cutter (those things were you lay the stack of papers down, and then pull the blade down, leaving a straight, clean cut through your stack of papers) to cut the papers in half.

Today I used that paper cutter again. It can't handle fifty papers at once, so I do five stacks of ten. While I was doing this, I moved the cut papers off the paper cutter and placed new papers on, when I noticed a lock of hair on the side. I thought "Huh. strange. I wonder who's hair that...oh no."

Somehow, a thick strand of my hair had managed to sneak under the blade without me realizing it. It cut off about four inches. Of my hair. MY HAIR. So now I have a chunk of hair missing. I can either try to hide it everyday, or cut the rest of my hair by four inches.

Not cool, paper cutter. Not cool.

I Told the Elephants to Forget It, But They Can't. The Cheetahs are Hard Up, But I Always Say, Cheetahs Never Prosper

Yesterday we went on a walk. When it came time to cross the street we had to wait, not for cars, but for this:


Okay, okay. So the walk was in a zoo, not just out in the town, but still, that is so cool!!

It's Like He's Doing His Crazy Boot Stomp Dance Every Night.

I've been renting my housing for a while now.

I've rented a room in the dorms. I've rented a room shared by five other girls, one of which was a crazy, OCD, psychopath. I've rented an apartment with no heat and holes in the walls that let the sun shine through and holes in the porch that threatened to capture you every time I left for work.

When Drek and I were first married we lived in a tiny apartment with no water pressure and a broken bathroom sink. It had no parking and you could easily hear the neighbor's conversation. It was actually a great place to live: waking up every morning to the sound a the next-door rooster, super-cheap rent. I'm grateful we lived there, but also grateful we moved.

We moved to the next town over, where we rented a delightful townhouse that had no yard, and a horrible heating/cooling system. It was too expensive, too big, and looking back, we really shouldn't have bought a washer and dryer, but I'm so grateful we lived there. We had awesome neighbors, lots of space and that is where my LO was born.

Next is was off to Burgville, where we rented what I now refer to as our "luxary apartment." Three bedrooms , two bathrooms, a garage, and by far the largest place we've lived. The basement neighbors were the best neighbors ever and it was heated by radient flooring, which is pure genius if you ask me. We didn't live there long, and the landlords were dirty rotten crooks, but I loved living there.

We currently live in our smallest apartment ever, square footage wise. It's also the most expensive, rent-wise. It's two bedrooms and two bathrooms with the smallest kitchen I've ever seen, let alone used. It's infested with ants, has no lights and no functioning electrical outlets. There aren't washer and dryer hookups, the sun can't find it's way inside, our house shakes when our neighbor watches a movie with surround-sound, and the upstairs neighbors are boot-stomping screamers with a dog that won't shut-up. And yet, the location is unbeatable. It's next door to a park, around the corner form a grocery store and the plants smell so good that whenever you walk down the sidewalk you think the air itself is perfumed. We have access to a grill, a swimming pool and a hot tub, our ward is awesome, landlords know us by name, are in love with Ash and are always friendly and helpful. I'm grateful we live here.

And yet, I am hoping for a bit more. I would like to stop renting. I would like to own. It's time to move into our very own house.

After six months of looking, I've found it: our perfect home. I'm not sure we can get it, but I want it.

I've never owned a house before. Any tips? Does anyone have any home buying/home owning advice?

Green-Blooded Hobgoblin

I love my CSA box. I love it because it's organic, local, and fresh. I love it because the fruit, vegetables and herbs taste better and are more nutritious than store produce. But here is the big reason I love my CSA box:

Last week in our box we got a bag full or oranges. Three or four small ones and three or four big ones. I put them in the fridge and forgot about them. This week we got another bag full or oranges, so I decided that since we had so many, we should have fresh squeezed orange juice for breakfast. I got out my juicer, sliced the big oranges in half, and then cut into a smaller orange. This is what I saw:
I paused. Is it a grapefruit? I tasted it. No, it's very much an orange. This must be a blood orange! I have heard of them, but never seen one. And now I have around eight blood oranges sitting on my counter. So for breakfast we had juice that was half orange, half blood orange. Today we had the same thing. It tasted AMAZING. I'm sure a lot of that is due to the fact that it was fresh squeezed and organic, but I'm also blaming it on the blood oranges. They taste sweeter. Also, they look really cool. I think I want to plant a blood orange tree now.
See? Without my CSA box, I never would have known how much I love blood oranges. So great.

Dude, This Thing Claims I Have Mail. It's Amazing What We Can Do With Computers These Days. Dude, Now I'm Totally Reading It

Today at church, instead of having our normal meetings, the Bishop gave a lecture on the new church websites. The church has completely re-done the LDS.org website and has introduced the new Mormon.org website, so the Bishop took us on a brief tour of these sites and their awesomeness. I was so excited he did this. Have I mentioned I love my Bishop? I do. He gives great lessons.

Anyway, I was so excited he did this because I had not yet had time to play with these websites, and had yet to unlock their potential. Did you know that on the new website you can download complete audio files of the scriptures for your ipod or smatphone? Did you know you can access the Friend online and play cute and educational games? Did you know you can find out what the Humanitarian Aid is doing and how you can help? Did you know you can search through a massive database and find a mormon who is your same gender, age, race, has the same interests, or has been in a similar situation, and find out about that person's life, opinions and testimony? That means I can instantly find other vegetarian mormons and read about they deal with ridiculous relief society lessons. Oh, I love it.

One of my favorite things is the ability to log in. If you log in, and you're a church member, you can access an online ward directory. That means three things: Since it's online, you don't have to keep the paper ward directory around to clutter up your house. You can instantly get the phone number of someone new to the ward, or updated information if someone just changed callings or their phone number, and the church is going to stop printing paper directories to save trees! Isn't that wonderful?!

It was a great meeting. I think my favorite part was when the bishop showed off the page for teenagers and talked about how is has a lot of youtube videos, and then went on to explain that "YouTube is a video sharing service where you can upload videos and watch videos made by others." I giggled. Sometimes I forget that some people have never used Youtube, or Google, or (gasp) Blogger.

A Bug! A Bug! What is is Lavender? A BUG!

I love Sunland. On a day when the rest of the United States is under snow, we decided to go to the tidepools in our awesome eighty degree weather.

It was a perfect day to go. The tide was lower was lower than usual and we found some pretty neat stuff. The first thing we found was a family of HUGE starfish:

The smallest on was bigger than my hand. They were big!

Drek found a big beautiful conch shell, which was home to a giant sea slug. We decided to let it live in peace.

And then we found this:
It's an octopus! We found an octopus! It was so cool! We snapped a few pictures and then it slipped of the Frisbee (great octopus catchers) and went home.

Tea and Coffee and Tobacco they Despise. Drink No Liquor and They Eat But a Very Little Meat They Are Striving to be Great and Good and Wise

I attended our Relief Society meeting on Wednesday. The theme was "New Year, New You" and promised to be about eating healthy, exercise and my favorite topic: The Word of Wisdom.

I have learned my lesson. Really. From now on, when there is a ward function involving the Word of Wisdom, I promise not to attend. It just makes me upset and no one wins.

Let me set the scene for you:

This is a church activity so we are meeting in the church. Around twenty to thirty women, ages eighteen to really, really old, are sitting around the gym at various dinner tables, eating a delicious pot luck of salads, fruit and rolls. There are a few children, but not many. A few women have an infant in their arms. There are no males in the whole room. Let me emphasize that: This is a girls only activity. No boys were invited, no boys came. This activity is geared toward women. By women, for women, about women.

The night started out with a lecture from a nurse. She stands up in front with a microphone, explains that women need to value their health and then starts off on her topic. Her topic is Testicular Cancer.

Actual quote: "I've seen boys come in the balls as hard as rocks and I'm like: really? You didn't notice there was something wrong? Just like girls are supposed to do monthly self breast exams, boys should do monthly self...well, you know. They should check!"

Oh. My. Goodness.

She finished her topic (after briefly discussing Prostate Cancer. Why?!) and another girl got up to discuss healthy eating habits. She informed us that protein is very important and we all need more protein.

Actual quote: "Chicken is the best source of protein. I've learned to put chicken on everything! Put it on sandwiches, in pasta, in salads, in soups...anything you make with no meat needs to have some chicken! It's healthy!"

And that's about where I vowed never to underestimate the stupidity of humans. That is also about where I zoned out and gave all my attention to Ash.

No one even mentioned the Word of Wisdom. Not surprising since that second speaker has apparently never read it. That's okay. Neither has most of the church.

Pretty Please? The Physical Appearance of the Please Makes No Difference

Rissy got off her mission today. I can't express how much I've missed her.

Of course, since I don't live in Hometown anymore, I couldn't be at the airport when she arrived. In September it occurred to me that since she was over seas, she could potentially have a layover at an airport within driving distance. This was very exciting, and I decided I would get a hold of her travel plans so I could meet her at the airport. I wanted her to meet Ash. And I wanted to see her again.

I did get a hold of her travel plans and she did, indeed, have a layover at an airport within driving distance, but by the time her plane landed her connecting flight was already boarding. She would have to run across the airport if she wanted to make her flight. There was no way she could even wave through a window, let alone go out of security, meet Ash, and then go through Security again. Besides, I didn't want to make her go through a Backscatter machine and extra time. I called the airport to ask if I could go through security without a ticket. The answer was no. It wouldn't matter how nicely I asked, the TSA would not let me go through security to run her to the connecting flight.

She landed at the airport today. Less than three hours away and I wasn't there. As it turns out she missed her flight, so she waited with nothing to do in the airport for almost an hour. Gah! Why wasn't I there?! Why?!

She called me when she got home. It was good to hear her voice. We're already making travel plans. I can't wait to see her.

I've Got It! Let's Flap Over to the East Side of the Jungle. They've Always Got a Bit of Action, a Bit of a Swingin' Scene, All Right

Today we went to the zoo! We went early, which was awesome, because there was so few people which meant that all the zoo employees talked to us so we got the inside scoop of the animals. Like that the oldest Galapagos Tortoise is around one-hundred-seventy-five years old, and the baby is a girl and only ten years old.

After we were done with the tortoises, we walked along a back path. Coming around the corner I saw a zoo worker walking a beautiful golden retriever. Following behind her was another zoo employee, holding a leash. Her leash was attached to a creature I couldn't fully see, because it had no yet come around the corner, but I could tell it was HUGE. I watched it and my eyes nearly bugged out when it came into view.

"That is not a dog." I said aloud. The zoo workers chuckled and said "No, This one is a dog, but this one is an adult male Timberline Wolf. "

Out for a stroll. On a leash. Sniffing the ground just like any other dog. Right in front of me. I mean, RIGHT in front of me. The wolf came about a foot away from where we were standing. He sniffed Ash and then happily went on his merry way. I asked if I could pet him, but the zoo works said that the public can never touch the wolves.

You Think You're Pretty Smart, Don't You, Trebek. What With Your Diego Mustache And Your Greasy Hair. Look, What Did I Just Say About Racial Slurs?

We don't own a TV or a gaming system, so I have to find other ways to amuse myself. Today during Ash's naptime, I decided some good entertainment would be to call my Health Insurance (Company A) and ask why they are sending me "Final Notice" bills when we're set up for automatic payment.

I am on hold for twenty minutes before I decide to get online and see if I can figure it out that way. I called them through Google (did you know you can make free calls from Google? I do most customer service calls through them so they can keep me on hold forever and it doesn't eat up my cell phone minutes. I love Google) so I open a new window and find their website. First I have to create an account, then I have to log on. After that is done, I see that our detectable has been changed, but I can't see how. I also see me and Ash, but not Drek. And then I say "pay bill" so I pay our bill and then start an email to Company A (since they won't answer their phone) asking if Drek is covered because I can't see him, how are deductible has changed, and since they don't pay for well baby visits, how do I let them know that I paid for a well baby visit so it can count toward our deductible?

While I am writing that last part, I decide I need to be more specific, so I look up the date Ash had her well baby visit. I also want to add the amount I paid, but I can't find the receipt. I paid with our HSA (Health Savings Account) debit card, so I think that all the information will be online. I got to the HSA website, and realize I have to create yet another account. This one is not so easy. I don't know the information they are asking for so I have to call them too.

I am on hold with Company A through Google. I am on my cell phone with Company B. I am on Company A's website and am trying to log on to Company B's website. Entertaining, no?

Anyway, Company B says they can't tell me that information, but they can tell me where to find it, so I go digging through files and find the paper with answer to their question. I set the paper down in front of the computer. As I about to type it in, Company A FINALLY answers the phone! I have been on hold for thirty two minutes. I ask them my questions. They say Drek is over eighteen, So I'm not allowed to see him when I log on , but he is still covered, they say the new Healthcare bill changed the deductible and they said that when that happened, all automatic payment information was lost. I ask about the Well Baby visits and she informs me that under the new Healthcare bill, they will pay for all of Ash's Well Baby visits from now on. I am stunned. I ask her to double check, so she does. She checks my doctor and my plan and assures my that they will pay from now on. Wonderful!!

I thank her, hang up the phone, and then realize I've already started this account with Company B, so I might as well finish. I enter the answer, hit continue, and it gives me a crazy error message. I call Company B again, and the girl says she can help if I verify my address. I give her our address in SunLand. She pauses, and then asks if there is another address. I give her our address in Burgville, thinking we hadn't updated it. She says that's not it either. I give her our HomeTown address, that is also incorrect, but she says the state is right. I give her my parent's address, thinking I used that as a mailing address four years ago, she says that's not it. I ask her if it's the first address Drek and I lived after we were married. She asks what that address is and I can't answer because I have forgotten it. I remember the street, but she says she can't say yes or no unless I give the full address. So I go online to Google maps, type in the street, find the house, and look at street view. I zoom in to the address on the curb, give it to her, and she laughs and says no, that's not it either. I am baffled. She thinks I am am traveling vagrant and points out that we've only had this account for three years. Yeah. I move a lot.

And then I look down at the paper in front of me. On the top it is addressed to Drek and has his parent's address. I ask if that address is correct. She says that the address is, in fact, correct. Hooray! I win! It was right in front of me all along.

I don't need to watch game shows on TV, I create them for myself with customer service calls! Today on K La's Customer Service Calls, K La won two online accounts and free Well Baby visits! Join us next time on K La's Customer Service Calls!

I Shall Call Him Squishy. And He Shall Be Mine. And He Shall be My Squishy

I love Sunland. Last week we were freezing to death and slipping all over the ice-covered roads in Hometown, but this week we are walking barefoot on the beach and dipping our toes into the water. And my, was it beautiful:


We went to see some tidepools! Drek found a website telling us the the tides and the best time to go, so we went! There were all sorts of creatures and crazy rock formations. This was the most abundant creature. I have no idea what it is. If I had to name it, I would call it the Sea Gush. The video explains why. Any one else have a guess?

And we saw a crab! So I give you another video:

I held the shell that Drek gave me in the palm of my hand as we walked down the beach. Suddenly I felt a strange tickling. The shell was alive! There was something coming out of it! IN MY HAND!! I screamed and dropped it and Drek laughed at me.

And that is why I love SunLand.

The Moment You Set Foot on That Casino Floor, They'll be Watching You Like Hawks. Hawks With Video Cameras

I'm not thrilled about the heightened airport security. I already think the TSA is not only useless, but a complete joke, so the fact they are spending MILLIONS of taxpayers money on new machines that no one wants and they've admitted won't keep us safer, makes me mad.

I'm a little worried about the radiation, I'm a little worried about my naked X-ray picture ending up on the internets or on the iphone of some perverted, lonely TSA worker. I'm even more worried about voicing these concerns in the security line because I am very opposed to a TSA agent sticking their hands down my pants.

So, once the announcement was made that every airport would have a Backscatter X-ray or a Millimeter Wave Scanner I did a little research. I looked up a list of which airports had which machines and purchased tickets based on that information. For instance: There is a small airport here in Sunland that does not have either machine. They are not the closest airport to us, but that's where we decided to fly from. I also discovered that the HomeTown airport only has a Millimeter Wave Scanner in one terminal, meaning as long as I didn't fly Delta, I was safe.

And thus, I purchased tickets for us to fly to HomeTown for Christmas. I admit, I was really hoping it wouldn't be an issue. I was hoping "National Opt Out Day" would get some attention and by the time I flew in December, the machines would be ancient history.

That's not how it played out. The security at the Sunland airport was fine. Not a Backscatter X-ray or a Millimeter Wave Scanner was in sight and all the agents were polite and professional. We arrived in the HomeTown airport without being blown up, but as I walked passed security I stopped dead: people going through security were being ushered through a very big and expensive looking machine.

"Is that a Backscatter?" I asked the TSA agent in charge of making sure people did not go in the exit.

"No, it's a Millimeter Wave. We just got it yesterday. Pretty cool, huh?" She said.

My mouth fell open. But, I did research! I drove farther than I had to! I didn't fly Delta! I'm not supposed to even see one of those machines! But I just nodded, not sure how anyone could think that it was "cool". There are multiple security lines in the HomeTown airport and only one Millimeter Wave, so maybe I could avoid it anyway.

Thus, I was a little anxious about flying home. We had an early flight, so Drek and I wanted to get there just an hour early, instead of ninety minutes early. We knew we could do this if we checked in online. The night before Drek got online and checked himself in, then turned the computer over to me. I went through the link, but when I entered my name it took me to a screen informing me that the TSA had flagged my lap infant as a possible terrorist and they needed additional information about her.

Really? I'm not flagged but my daughter is? Really?

So I entered her full name and date of birth. Except when I got to the year she was born, the drop-down menu only had two choices: 2010 and 2011.

Seriously? Because four day olds are known terrorists? Where was the 2009 choice? Drek looked it over and decided the programmer must have thought that since lap infants are two years old or younger, he would only put two year choices. And clearly it's more likely that my child would be born in the last four days, than in the entire three hundred and sixty one day span of 2009.

I tried entering her birthday as 2010, but it said what we entered didn't match their records (of course) and to see a flight agent immediately. I called my airline and explained the problem. The girl tried to override the system, it didn't work. She tried to give me 2009 as an option; it didn't work. So she tried changing my daughter's birthday to 2010 so the records would match. This only succeeded in having us red flagged. Great.

We got to the airport the next morning (an hour early. I was not going to get up at four in the morning because some web programmer is a moron) and to my dismay I realized that all the security lines had brand new Millimeter Wave Scanners. However, I also noticed that one of the machines had orange cones in the entrance, and no one was being ushered inside. Hah! Less than three weeks old and already broken. So we went through that line.

They did not pull Ash aside and they did not pat us down. In fact, besides the fact that one of the TSA agents was a complete jerk, it was business as usual in the security line. Still, I don't think we will be flying anywhere anytime soon. The entire situation is one I want to avoid.

What Can it Be? We're All Doomed! Who's Flying This Thing!? Oh Right, That Would Be Me. Back to Work

Today we drove the wrong direction on the freeway. It was super exciting.

Drek is driving down the freeway in Hometown. I am in the backseat, entertaining the baby, who is in her carseat. We are all wearing seat belts. The truck in front of us changes lanes, revealing that the cars in front of us are stopped. Drek slams on the brakes, I gasp and pray we can stop and aren't hit from behind. Ash takes another bite of her snack.

We do stop, we aren't hit from behind, and by now, no one is moving. We just passed an exit a quarter of a mile ago. We are in the right most lane, about five feet from the on ramp where, further up, cars are also at a standstill.

We turn on the radio and hear that there is a nasty multiple car accident, all lanes are blocked, emergency vehicles can't get to the scene and "avoid that part of the freeway because you can't get through, period." Oh noes.

We wait. A car passes us on the on ramp and has to stop. Another minutes passes. Another car comes and has to stop. A few more minutes pass and a brown station wagon and a green bug drive down the on ramp and stop behind the line of cars. The driver of the green bug looks at the freeway: all lanes blocked, no one moving, and looks behind him: the on ramp is all clear. He then puts his car in reverse and slowly drives back the way he came, going around a corner and everything. Drek mentions he was just thinking the same thing. I reply that it is too dangerous and we aren't in a hurry. Drek replies that we might run out of food and water. I look at Ash. She gobbles up the rest of her snack.

A minute passes. The brown station wagon goes into reverse and follows the green bug. The truck behind us does a U-turn on to the onramp. His truck is now driving forward, following the brown station wagon as they go the wrong direction on the freeway. He is followed by two more cars in reverce.

Drek decides to be bold. Despite my protests he follows the example of the truck: flipping a U-turn onto the on ramp. We are now in a very slow moving line of cars, some going forward like us, some going in reverse, exiting the freeway using an on ramp. Yes, it was terrifying. Surprisingly I was not afraid of getting hurt, I was afraid a cop would give us a ticket. I am so screwed up.

We turn the corner and flip another U-turn so we are now facing the correct direction in a correct lane. We drive over the freeway to take the back roads to our destination. As we drive over the on ramp we had just used as an off ramp, we see a very long line of cars following our example.

The cars that are unaware of the accident or the traffic jam and are trying to get on the on ramp have stopped in the wake of the dozens of cars facing both directions, trying to get off the on ramp. I giggled as I thought of what they must be thinking: "Wait, are we in the wrong lane, or are they? Are they all drunk? Are zombies attacking?"

It's All Meaningless If I Have to Force Them to Do Anything. Why Should I Have to Step In?

2010 was a great year.

At the beginning of last year our car was broken into and I lost my iphone after owning it for approximately three weeks. Okay, so 2010 didn't start out great, but it got a million times better:

We moved to a different state with two weeks notice. I knew I wouldn't be in Burgville forever, so I made a list of everything I needed to do while I was there. I didn't cross off everything, but I did cross off most of it and a blast doing it. I went caving. I went hiking. I traversed wild mountain springs and slid into dark ice caves. I went off-roading. I caught tadpoles in a lake. I swam in hot springs. I ate at delicious (and not-so delicious) restaurants. I got within a few feet of an elk, a buffalo and a baby buffalo. I saw a wolf. I did a polar bear plunge. I went on a horse-drawn sleigh ride, I did a photo shoot on a swing set in the middle of nowhere

Besides things on that list, I did a lot: I learned how to make tortillas. I learned how to grind wheat and made lots of wheat bread, wheat rolls, wheat tortillas and wheat cookies. I finally learned to bake (It's a miracle). I discovered that CSA boxes rock and fresh cow's milk is unbeatable. I learned Spanish verbs are awesome, radiant heating is the way to go, being within walking distance of a park, the library, post office and grocery store is way better than having a car. I discovered I love running and then I discovered I love barefoot running. I discovered the joy of anti-gravity Yoga and books on CD. I wrote an entire novel. I ran a half-marathon with dad and my sister. I made a pinata from a balloon and paper-mache and a fort out of packed banana boxes. I made awesome Halloween costumes for my family and a delicious Thanksgiving-themed dinner for my Grandparents. I gave up red-dye 40 and HFCS and have gone an entire year without shampoo. Lost ended, which was not-so-great, but the ending was good.

In July we moved to Sunland. I created a new list to complete and so far have been ocean kayaking, gone to Disneyland, Legoland, the Mormon Battalion, and the zoo. I've collected seashells on the beach, walked along piers. I went to an old fashioned rendezvous and gambled in an old town salon. I've touched a giant turtle and fed sea horses. I'm looking forward to the rest of my list!

There were lots of parties. We had a Valentine's day party, St Patrick's day parties, a Pi day party, Cinco De Mayo parties, a Labor day party, Halloween parties, Christmas parties, laundry parties, Birthday parties, and lots of weddings!

Oh yeah, and I FINALLY don't have to wait for winter to end. A few weeks ago the temperature all weekend was eighty degrees. In December. It's not always amazing weather, but when it is, it's really amazing weather. And it so worth it. Finally, I have escaped winter.

The best part of 2010 was knowing that God was watching over us, guiding us, and helping us. That has been blatantly obvious this last year. I'm so grateful. I'm grateful for a wonderful year, a wonderful family, and the wonderful friends I've made over the last year.

2010 did not go anywhere near what what was planned or expected, and I'm grateful for that. Next year, when I write about 2011, I want to say I compleated all my New Year's resolutions. I want to say that 2011 was just as unexpected and awesome as 2010. Except maybe a little more awesome. Like I published my Novel and it sold more copies than the seventh Harry Potter book. Or I saved the CEO of a major international airline from a burning car and he gave me golden tickets to fly anywhere in the wold, to use as many times as I want. That would be great.

I Want Them to Help Themselves, to Know the Difference Between Right and Wrong Without Me Having to Tell Them

2010 resolutions:

-Speak fluent Spanish.
I admit, I cannot speak fluent Spanish. Even so, I don't consider this goal a failure. I made some great progress in this area: I found awesome Spanish websites, which I use. I found awesome Spanish CDs which I listen to in the car. I listen to a Spanish conference talk almost every day. I found an amazing Spanish teacher in Burgville and my Spanish improved leaps and bounds under private tutoring. Not only did she teach me Spanish verbs, a concept I had never dreamed of, but we became really good friends. One day I will go back and visit her and we sill hang out all day, only speaking Spanish.

I feel like my whole attitude towards Spanish has changed. While I set it as a goal before, I felt that it was unobtainable, that I would never really be able to speak Spanish. Now, thanks to my awesome Spanish teacher, I KNOW I can learn Spanish.

I never really though of Spanish as a beautiful language, only useful. That changed this year, thanks to one amazing episode and the incredible talent of Nestor Carbonell. Honestly I could listen to that man speak Spanish all day. All day every day. After that I love listening to Spanish no matter whose speaking. I think it's a beautiful language and I have huge respect for it. I didn't love Spanish before. I love learning Spanish now.

So, I may not speak Spanish fluently, but I'm getting there, and I did dream in Spanish, so I'll count that as a check.

-Run a marathon.
I did not. But I'm okay with that. I decided my goal was not to simply run a marathon, but to become a long distance runner. When I first decided to run a marathon, I thought it would be hard, I thought I would hate it, but in the end I could have something to brag about. This year taught me that I love running. Running is the fun part. I don't care about bragging, I don't care about completing a marathon, I just love to run. I am a runner. Check!

-Write a novel, edit a novel and publish a novel.
I wrote a novel. I am edited like mad, and am still editing. I joined a wonderful writing group that I love and they are helping me edit. I've also just started another tiny writing group specifically for editing our NaNoWrimo novels. I'll get there!

-Write in my gratitude journal everyday

I wrote in it twice. Fail.

-Index 1,000 documents.

I did exactly zero. Another fail.

My resolutions for 2011:

-Continue learning Spanish; be able to have unscripted Spanish conversation by 2012.

I love Spanish. I love listening to it, I love learning new words, I love stringing those words together to form sentences. I love learning Spanish and can't wait to learn more!

-Run a marathon.

I love to run. I love pushing myself in running. I can't wait to run farther and farther until I reach marathon distances!

-Edit my novel, then publish it.

Between my two writing groups, I know I will edit my novel. I will have it all edited by April, and then I will work on publishing it.

-Write a new novel

For NaNoWrimo. I already have an idea.

-Write in my gratitude journal everyday

I can do this! I will set it by my bed, and tie a pen to the journal. It will be the first thing I do every morning.

-Index 1,000 documents.

That's eighty-four per month. No problem!

-Minimize

Sell, give away or donate everything I don't use. My focus will be on experiences, not on material possessions. I will not buy it unless I NEED it. I will not keep it if it's not used at least once a month. For the entirety of 2011 I will not carry a credit card.

How About You, You, You. You Can Come Too, Too, Too

Drek and I aren't fans of Christmas commercialism. In fact, Drek's least-favorite holiday is Christmas because it is so commercialized. This year we thought about what to get our one-year old for Christmas. We thought about books or clothes. We thought about a baby doll or a sled. We also thought about just giving her a giant box filled with used wrapping paper because, let's face it, that's what the kids have the most fun with, and she's only one so she won't be disappointed (or even remember the next day what she got).

Finally, we decided on a family year membership to a zoo. It's a gift she can enjoy all year long, plus we can go and spend time as a family, creating memories that (hopefully) she will remember for the rest of her life. Or, at the very least, at least she'll remember that mom and dad are fun to hang out with. I had an old stuffed Koala from my childhood, so we wrapped it up and stuck it under the tree to symbolize her gift.

And then we cheated. When our memberships came in the mail, I realized that they were not 2011 memberships, but annual memberships that start the day you buy them, and we bought ours on November 30th. That meant a whole month wasted! So we decided to open Ash's present early and go to the zoo.

It was the best thing ever!! We saw some fun animals;

We rode on the skyride;

And I got to touch a turtle!
I hope Ash is as happy with her present as I am.

She Sells Sea Shells By the Sea Shore

This year we didn't have tons of money for Christmas gifts. We also wanted go commercial-free as much as we could. I also wanted to bring home a little of SunLand to Drek's siblings. All the combined into three homemade Christmas gifts.

First off, Drek and I went to the beach several times. We walked along, finding seashells and having a wonderful time. We cleaned and sorted the seashells and made a few crafts:

This one turned out the best. I took a brand-new wooden picture frame and hot-glued a few seashells on the frame.

I put in some cute photos I took on the beach and I thought it looked great!

Some sea shells had holes in them, I assume from some sort of sea creature.

So I strung some string through them and turned it into a bookmark.

(Any guesses on that book?)

And here is my favorite craft: Take the biggest seashells,

and some tea candles. melt the wax and pour into seashells, transfer the wicks.
and you have candle seashells!
Now I know you're looking at these crafts with a winkled nose and thinking that they look like elementary school children made them. I'm not going to argue that. I will simply tell a story:

I did another craft for my niece. It was a painted wooden board with a stencil. All I had to do was paint the board using the stencil and the craft would be done. After applying three layers I pulled off the stencil and discovered the paint hand gotten under the stencil, creating horrible swollen bubble letters that made it impossible to decipher the words. It was a disaster. I am very craft-challenged, you see. The fact that these sea shell crafts actually look like the intended outcome is my greatest success.

This, compared to my amazing sister-in-law, who made us the most amazing looking magnetic board for all our holiday needs, and a super-cute compartment for Ash's carseat, so Ash has access to toys and snacks. And check out my what my sister made for Ash; Zoo animal finger puppets. Aren't they AMAZING?!

Till, Ringing Singing, on its Way, The World Revolved From Night to Day

Christmas was great fun. Christmas morning was spent opening presents and stockings and hanging out with family. Christmas afternoon we went to my parent's house and opened more presents.

And then my dad and mom left to go the emergency room because they thought my dad has a blood clot in his leg and maybe his chest. He didn't, but in order to prove that the doctor exploded a vein in my dad's arm. They were in the hospital for about four hours before they could come home.

The day ended with a marshmallow gun fight.

Merry Christmas!!

What Surprise When I Open Up My Eyes to See a Hippo Hero Standing There

Ah, Christmas Eve:

The gingerbread houses are all decorated, the presents are wrapped under the lit tree, the stockings are stuffed and hanging, tomorrow's breakfast is all ready to be popped in the oven, the baby is sleeping, and Drek and I are sipping hot chocolate and playing Scrabble on his iphone (he take so long to play. But he is beating me by over a hundred points so I guess it works for him).

I've decided to give this blog a little Christmas present: I'm enabling comments. They'll be moderated, but viable.

Merry Christmas

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up In Strings, These are a Few of My Favorite Things

Here's a fun fact: In the U.S., the annual trash from wrapping paper and shopping bags totals over four million tons.

I despise buying wrapping paper. On the other hand, I love wrapping presents and having colorful presents under the tree Christmas morning. So this year I did this:

Sometimes when I'm mailed packages, instead of packing peanuts the shipper used brown paper. That brown paper makes awesome wrapping paper. Add a bow and it's beautiful! That's my favorite thing to do.

I also like using and re-using Christmas boxes and bags since they add so much color. I save them year after year. They're always good.

The red bag with green polka-dots is actually a reusable fabric gift bag. It's the perfect thing to wrap gifts in because it encourages the receiver to save a tree next year!

This year I bought some Christmas themed fabric for a Christmas craft, and used the extra for wrapping paper! Very colorful.

The beautiful blue package in the back is wrapped in wrapping paper from last year. It's not normal ripping-paper. It's made from cellophane or something. It's very exciting.

So, here is another fun fact: If everyone wrapped just three gifts in reused paper, reused bags, or fabric, it would save enough paper to fill forty thousand hockey rinks.

Don't think I'm an eco-saint or anything. While I was looking up these fun facts, I also found this one: The amount of Holiday card sold in the U.S. in one year would fill a football field ten stories high and requires the harvesting of three hundred thousand trees. Yeah, I helped murder THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND TREES. Next year, I will stick to Christmas emails.

Oh, Good. What Will I be Doing? Well, Pooh, You'll Be Sitting in Your Thoughtful Spot, Thinking as Usual

When I am disgustingly rich and have vast amounts of money to throw away, and there are no more charities or poor people in the world, I will build a room in my house that looks like this:

And I will have a hallway that looks like this:

But most importantly, I will have a window with this view:

And I will sit at that window with Ash on my lap and stare for hours at a time, just like I did today, because that window is my new thoughtful spot. It has to be one of the very best spots in the whole world.

Oh, That's Terrific! It Will Be Nice Working With Proper Villains Again

The post office opened at 8:30. I got there 8:10 hoping to avoid December lines, but to no avail; the line was already out the door. Thankfully the line was for the actual post office, and I needed to use the automated post office machine so I only had to wait a few minutes. I zipped through the machine and was back to my car in less than ten minutes. The post office hadn't even opened yet!

And then I realized I locked my keys in the car. Actually, I had locked Drek's keys in the car since my keys had been lost for a few days. It's a good think I had the baby on my back and not locked in her carseat.

So I called Drek, who couldn't really do anything. We do have a spare key for events such as this, but I lost that key a few months ago. Yeah, I bring these things upon myself. Drek did give the number for the sheirf's department, but SunLand Police cannot be bothered with trivial things like serving the public, so Drek got me the number for our car insurance company.

Miracle of miracles, our insurances covers roadside assistance. The girl called a locksmith for me, who came out in no time. He was polite, but focused. He didn't talk much so it took me a second to pick up on his accent. It sounded European, but it was hard to tell since he didn't say much. He pulled out his tools (which is just a glorified coat hanger) and set to work. He jammed a wedge into the window and stick the wire down into the door to fish for the lock. After a minute, he gave up, threw the tools aside, and pulled out what looked like a blood pressure cuff. He jammed it in the door, inflated it, and then stuck a thick pole with a right angle into the car and maneuvered it to press the "unlock" button. It took about thirty seconds. That's five minutes from the time he pulled up and less than two minutes once he got to work. He was a really pro. He was so good I almost asked him to join gang of car thieves that I'm creating because he just inspired me. Just give us an hour in the parking lot of a Target and we'd make a killing. How does one get into professionally breaking into cars anyway?

Are We Lost? No. I Think We Are

I got sick in November and stopped running. I figured I'd start back up in January (excuses excuses), but last week I discovered our stake was having a 5K race today. I wanted to do it, but one week didn't give me a whole lot of time to prepare. Last Saturday, after over a month no running, I ran four barefoot miles in fifty one minutes. That is not great, but at least I ran. Monday I walked with Ash for two miles. I was supposed to run, but I was so very sore. Wednesday I ran two miles in twenty nine minutes. Thus, my goal for today was to run my very first barefoot race ever, and my very first running 5K ever, and my very first trail run ever, and my third race ever, in under forty minutes.

By the time we got to the race today I had lowered my expectations slightly to just starting the race. Not even finishing, just starting. I was terrified. I can't really explain why, but I was way out of my comfort zone. There were only ten other runners, mostly male, and all of them older than me. I did not blend it at all. Also, I was the only one without shoes, and that got quite a few comments. Back in July, I wanted so badly to run a 5k and dazzle everyone with my effortless three mile run. I imagined I would soar to the finish line in under half an hour, and not even be out of breath. Alas, not training for your goals tends to make goals dreams instead of reality. My reality was I was about to run a 5k very unprepared, out of shape, and scared.

But the race started and off I went. The course was marked with hidden and undistinguished orange cones. There were lots of turns, forks, and curves, and three minutes into the race the guy in back said the leaders were going the wrong way. Most of us turned around to follow him, but a few of the lead runners got lost. That was not the only confusing turn, and as we got more spread out I really don't now if I took the same turns that the other runners took. I fell behind the lead group, then behind the second group, but I kept going. I mean, really kept going. I ran. I did not stop, and I pushed myself harder than I ever have before.

At the end of the race I like to sprint. I like to put everything I have into the last few hundred yard. I love sprinting to the finish line, adrenaline taking over and run finding strength I didn't know I had. Because the course was so ill marked, I had no idea where the middle of the race, was, much less the end. I came around a corner, expecting to go another half mile, and that was the it: the race was over. I had just crossed the finish line. I didn't sprint because I had no idea I was so close. It was very anticlimactic.

And then I looked at my time: twenty five minutes minutes.

WHAT?! I may have been second to last, but I sure beat my best time by a whole lot. Are you kidding me? The answer: maybe. Because the course was so bad, no one really knew if we actually ran three miles. One runner had the pedometer that said it was closer to two miles, but he was in the middle and no one knew if they took the same route he did.

So, yeah. I ran a race today. I don't know how long it was, or if my time was good, but I started and I finished. And I'm running again. So, hooray.

She Told Me It's Just Beyond the Meadows of Joy and the Valley of Contentment

I am actually mailing out Christmas cards this year. In the past we've done an email and we still will do email for most, but I got free Christmas cards from Shutterfly so I decided to be domestic. Mostly, I will hand-deliver our Christmas cards. It's much better that way. If I have to pay for postage, I'd rather just send an email, but in this case I am actually snail mailing a few. In order to do that I had to collect a few addresses. I decided who got cards and who got emails by a simple competition: first ten people to respond to my address requests get a card. I like to keep things simple.

Drek and I addressed the cards last night. I paused when I came to the address: 555 Nonesuch Road. I rolled my eyes and shot back an email: You do not seriously live on Nonesuch Road.

Yes I do.

No you don't.

No, really, I do.

So I looked it up on Google maps. He actually does live on Nonesuch Road. There is a road called Nonesuch road. I'm not joking. The name has not been changed in this post. It is, actually, officially, named called Nonesuch Road. Why? Why would you do that? Who names roads anyway?

Oh, Free Parking. Which, Coincidentally, is the Best Thing About Zombieland

We were lucky enough to be able to celebrate Drek's birthday on Saturday with a trip to:

(where we've never been) for the minimal fee of $12 for parking and the gas it took to drive there. Oh, I suppose the $3 for the ice cream cone we shared, but it was a big cone.

It was a good day to go; not to cold, not to hot, no long lines. There were small lines, but they were small. Sometimes we wore jackets, sometimes we took them off. It was nice.

The park was all decorated for Christmas.

And there were fish:
The fish were not made out of legos.

The Lego faces were so accurate that the camera thought these were real faces

Miniland was to much fun. Since we went at Christmas, they had added a few little things:

I really loved these guys:

They did this amazing super complicated version of the cup game.

Seriously, that is so cool. I really want to get a bunch of people together and play the cup game and learn how do this game with buckets. So cool.

If the Only Thing Left of You Was Your Smile and Your Little Finger, You'd Still Be More of a Man Than Anyone I've Ever Known

My husband rocks. I love being married to him. I especially love being married to him on his birthday, because then we can celebrate how great he is!

His birthday was yesterday. I woke up early to make cherry cream crepes; his favorite breakfast. He ate two, but was too full to eat the third one I made for him, so he decided to take it to work with him. Before he left he opened his first little present; little candies to take to work. I think he liked them.

I drove him to work today (he usually rides his bike because he is that awesome) and as he buckled the baby in the car, he put his plate on top of the car. That was the last we ever saw of the plate or the crepe.

I brought him Panda Express for lunch, along with a giant eclair from a bakery. I also brought in mini eclairs for his co-workers. Apparently, it was a very good day at the company, thanks to my husband being a genius.

We went out to eat dinner just the two of us. We had a wonderful time at the restaurant and came back home to have birthday pie with friends.


We sang to him and he blew out his candles. We ate a lot of pie and talked. Afterward I gave him my present: a huge tool set, and Ash gave him her present; more candy!

The real celebration comes on Saturday: We are going to Legoland for his birthday! I think I'm more excited than he is!

Can You Flip It Right Now? We're Gonna Flip It Thursday. Or Friday. Or in November. Can You See It From Where You're At? Can I Come Down and Flip It?

SunLand lied. LIED.

It's supposed to be sunny! It's supposed to be warm! This is not warm! For the last week it has been cold. COLD!
I admit; it's not freezing, nor is it snowing, but I can see my breath when I walk outside and I have been wearing actual shoes for the last few days. All this would be fine, and perfectly bearable (I freely admit this is not nearly as bad as Burgville, or even HomeTown) but is made worse by a simple fact: My house is freezing.

It's designed to keep cool; in the summer we never used air conditioning and in the fall it was colder inside the house than outside. Now, it's cold outside and freezing inside. We didn't want to turn on the heat for two reasons: We didn't want to pay the bill and hello, we're in SunLand! We shouldn't HAVE to use heat. It's the principal of the thing!

So we nailed blankets over the walls to insulate, threw a few extra quilts on the bed, got out the heating pad, sweatshirts, fuzzy socks, and warm pajamas. We put Ash in thermals under her pajamas and banned short-sleeves. Even so, by Saturday, we were cold. VERY cold. So cold, I was longing for my awesome Burgville house with its radiant heat and toasty warm temperatures. In other words: it was so cold I wished I was in Burgville. That is freaking cold.

So we decided to turn on the heat. We looked around at the odd contraptions on our walls, puzzled over the fact that we never noticed we didn't have a thermostat and asked how to make it warm. The answer was basic: call the energy company and ask them to turn on the gas. So we did. They were very polite, agreed to come out, agreed not to charge us anything to come out, and then told us they would be here Wednesday.

"Wednesday? Um, can't you come sooner? Like...now? It's really cold."

"Wednesday is the soonest we can come out to light your pilot light."

"Oh, is that all you do? Can we light it?"

"NO! Absolutely not! We must do it! We will be out Wednesday!"

"But it's cold now!"

"Maybe you should have thought of that four days ago."

The good news is today is Wednesday and the guy came while I was out taking Drek to work. He left a sign on the door that said he was there, and that he lit the pilot light. There is a new sound coming from the odd contraption on our wall, so I believe the sign. The bad news is I still have no idea how to make it warm. And maybe now I'm used to the cold so I don't want to! After all, this is SunLand. Maybe it will warm up soon...