Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Down with Junk Mail!!

I have become very annoyed with mail. Drek has an obsessive compulsion that requires him to check our mailbox everyday, even though the only thing we get is mail addressed to people who don't live there anymore, and junk mail. All important mail for him goes to his parent's house, all important mail for me goes to my parent's house. Thus, the only reward for checking the mailbox is a stack of papers in a house that I am already struggling to keep clean. I have also recently realized how many dead trees are in our mailbox everyday. This is also alarming.
Internet research was done! This is what I discovered:
The average American household receives 18 pieces of unsolicited junk mail each week, according to the Center for a New American Dream, a nonprofit dedicated to promoting responsible consumerism. Tallied up, that bulk accounts for 100 million trees lost each year and carbon emissions equivalent to three million cars. By reducing the amount of junk mail you receive each year, you personally will save two trees and prevent some 92 pounds of carbon dioxide from being released into the air. Not only that, but if we only use USPS for important mail, instead of junk mail, maybe the price of stamps would go down? Or do I have that backwards?
Anyway, I did more research and went on a crusade to stop junk mail. I did went to to stop credit card junk mail, I went to to stop catalogs, and then I found which basically the most useful site of all. If you are stopping junk mail, just go to this site. It will take you to all the others. Then, I called the Post Office, to see if they could not deliver to me other people's mail.
A little history on our house:
Our apartment is in a highly coveted neighborhood. Our apartment is highly coveted. It is never vacant and has a waiting list a mile long. The only reason we got it, was because the previous occupant was arrested, taken back to New York, and thrown in jail at exactly the same time we needed an apartment.
Because he was unexpectedly thrown in jail, he did not forward his mail, and he did not leave a forwarding address. Thus, our only recourse has been to mark "return to sender" on important looking mail. He gets A LOT of important looking mail. He is also getting an increasing number of mail marked "LAST WARNING!" and "FINAL NOTICE!" and "VERY IMPORTANT!" and "TAMPERING WITH MAIL THAT IS NOT YOUR WILL RESULT IN JAIL TIME". This makes me very nervous for him, because he is obviously not getting his mail, and more nervous for me, who does not want jail time. His name is King Edu (name has been slightly changed, only slightly, the weirdness has been kept for effect). Hasford Sackey also gets a lot of important looking mail. I have no idea who he is.
Anyway, I called the post office, talked to a very nice girl who obviously hated her job. She took down the information and said they would try and get the carrier to not deliver their mail to me.
This morning I got a call from the supervisor of the post office. He said he received my request, but needed to clarify the names. "Ok." I said. "the first one is Hasford Sackey, H-A-S-F-O-R-D is his first name..." The supervisor interrupted me. "his name is Hasford Sackey? First name Hasford, last name Sackey?" "Yes." I answered and the other one is King, K-I-N..." "His first name is King?" And that's when I realized what the phone call was about. "Yes. I know they're strange names. King lived here before us and I have no idea who Hasford Sackey is. But those really are their names."
He thought is was a prank. giggle giggle.

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