This morning I got quite the haunting e-mail. It's like a ghost from the past when I thought I had left the haunted house. I'm really not sure what to do, or what to think, or how to feel. I suppose I have this blog so I can rant. So this is me, ranting.

This is one thing he wrote:
"I do wonder about you from time to time. It's an odd thing---I sometimes attempt to recall the way your voice sounded, or the exact way your face looked---and I can't."

You know what? I do remember. I remember the inflections he used, the tone of his voice, and the words he would say when we were with his friends, and I remember how different all that was when we were alone. I remember the way he did his hair, the way he walked, his facial expressions . . . I remember how angry he would get. I remember how useless I used to feel. I remember struggling with all my might just to keep from drowning.

The thing is, I'm a different person now. I've changed a lot. I've worked hard to try and be somebody. I've worked hard to show myself that I'm worth something. That I have value. It doesn't matter anymore what he thinks about me, or what anybody thinks about me for that matter.

I'm happy now.

Much Hilarity Ensues

Yesterday was the start of the assassin game. This meant that all of today I was completely paranoid. I was constantly looking around corners and over my shoulder. I told myself that if anyone in the game showed up at work to just stay in the back, lest they were here to shoot me.

Mark (my boss) stayed at work late, so most of my morning was spent joking back and forth and him teasing me mercilessly. Almost immediately after he left I got a phone call for a job interview. The interview was at 1:30. I was scheduled to work until 6:00. I called meimei and asked her to cover me for two hours. She said she would, because she is amazing and so much more generous than I ever was.

Noon. Cue IRS man coming into the bakery. IRS man has come into the bakery everyday since before I started working there. Since the deli opened, he'll come in and get lunch, then come back around three for an eclair. We've has causal conversations before, to where we're on a first-name basis, but yesterday while his sandwich was being made we had an actual conversation during which he asked if I was leaving the bakery because I was getting married. I told him I was not (but Mary seemed to think that too. Where is this rumor coming from?) and realized he was about to ask me out (IRS man is very nice, around 26-29 years old, not married and not my type. Not to mention I am very, very happy with who I am with right now). His sandwich was finished just in time. Anyway, back to today, IRS man came in for his sandwich and I hid in the back. We didn't have eclairs, so I told him while he was paying and leaving, that I would be sure and make some before 3:00. Because that's what my job is.

When Meimei came in at 1:00 I asked her to make eclairs, and she said she would.

At 1:20 I showed up to the interview, had a wonderful talk with the supervisor who then offered me the job on the spot. I accepted, because it really is a great job. My last day at the bakery is Aug 23. My first day at Craft Supplies USA is Aug 24.

I got back to the bakery to discover that meimei had used the wrong filling for the eclairs, which is no big deal. I thanked her and she left.

At 3:00 IRS man came in. I hid in the back.

At 4:30 Russell showed up. We talked for a while and then he left. I blame this exact occurrence on my state of stupidity for what happened next:

I was in the back, I came out to the front to help people. Mary was helping one customer, there was a customer waiting, and I see another person waiting in the corner. I turn to help the customer in line, and realize the person in the corner is _________.
I turn back around, greet him, and go to give him a hug, when I am squirted three times in the stomach.

I am assassinated.

After laughing my head of at my own stupidity, we walk to the bank, walk back, and I bid my killer good-bye, and good luck on his next kill. Before he leaves he gives me an extra water gun. I will use it well next game.

Back in the bakery as I am closing, who should walk in but IRS man!!!! He's staying late at work and wants to buy caffeine. I ring him up and ask if the eclair was ok. He replies it was still good, but he likes the custard better. I apologize and replies with: Tell you what, if you dump that no good boyfriend of yours and go out for ice cream with me I'll forgive you.



. . .




After I regain my composure from laughing so hard I think I'll explode ( no, I wasn't mean, I was very diplomatic. Poor IRS man) Mary starts making fun me and I die laughing all over again.

Next is D and D. I always end up laughing till my sides hurt, but tonight is particualry hillarios because most people in the campaign are aslo playing Assassin. I get five phone calls during the run asking me information on other Assassin players. News of my death has spread quickly apparently. DM threatens if I answer my phone again, I will lose a level. giggle giggle.

After the run everyone becomes paranoid. Bradley sends Todd out to search the perimeter. Todd apparently fails at this because the moment Bradley steps out of the house he is shot. It does not count as a kill because Todd was a whitness. And now the plot thickens.

I arrive home to the news that Ben has just been assassinated. My, we were a busy bunch tonight.


Ah, glee.

This is possibly the best post secret ever.
I have never laughed so hard at a postcard.

Update

As of Saturday, I am no longer going to San Diego.

I'm not sure what I ill do, as my house and my job end in a few weeks, but it looks like I'll stay in Provo.

Huzzah!!

so tired everything is funny

Ever wonder what other people do during the early morning hours?

Kris and did the following:

11:00pm: Kayla tries jumping of the wall to pull a peice of paper of the wall in the hallway. Kris decides to be of assistance and lift Kayla up. Kris and Kayla fall onto the floor, laughing hystericlly. After several more attempt Kayla manages to pull the paper of the wall.

11:10 Kris and Kayla decide to stage an intervention. To Ferdinand!!!!

11:11 Kris and Kayla stop at a stoplight, they are attempting to make a left-hand turn

11:17 Kris has had enough with the never-green light and runs the very red light.

11:18 Kris hits another red light. Kayla laughs at her ensuing road rage.

11:25 Kris and Kayla stage intervention.

12:20am Kris decides Kayla would not make a good Private investigator, as she does not return furtive glances. Kayla is not a glancer.

12:30 Kris and Kayla have following converstaion:

Kris: Your mom
Kayla: Your face
Kris: Your father's face
Kayla: Tu Madre
Kris: Touche

12:45: Kayla's "Real fake hot dog" is asploding. Kayla tries putting "ket-ca-cechsup" on it.

1:00am: Kris and Kayla sit at the kitchen table, working dilligently on their own computers. See? This is why I shouldn't leave Utah.

Questions

I just don't understand.

How can some people not want to be mothers? I want to be a mom more than anything else. I know people are different, and everyone has their own goals and ambitions, but how do you make it to the point where you have a nine-year-old daughter, and just decide to quit? If you know you don't want to be a mom, shouldn't you decide that before you get married? Shouldn't you not have a child? Shouldn't you not have two children? Gah!!!

Life's so crazy. You wake up in the morning knowing exactly what your plan is, when you're leaving, what you'll be doing, how long you're staying, and the next moment you have no idea what's going to happen, where you're going to live, what you'll do. . .

I suppose patience is the answer.

Patience indeed.

Just like the pioneers

Last night I attended a ward activity. The idea was to celebrate out pioneers (it is almost July 24) by holding a bonfire up the canyon and eating s'mores.
It turned out quite nicely, with a good talk and some great pioneer stories. The ice cream wasn't bad either.

After that it was spontaneously decided to ry a camping trip. We camped up at a place where you can't have a campfire, but we did have a laptop, an ipod, a camera and a butane stove. This was also in celebration of the pioneers.
We ended up watching three episodes of LOST on the laptop before the battery died. Just so you know, watching a show about being in the middle of nowhere while you ARE in the middle of nowhere, is all sorts of awsomesness.

Ah, the joy of last minute plans turning out better than you expected them to turn out.

To the Tintinnabulation That So Musically Wells

Last night I found the cutest baby kitty ever. She's around two weeks old. Her brothers and sisters are all dead and her mother is nowhere to be found. She wasn't eating anything so I came over to help feed her; which I did. I then stated that she would probably have to be fed every few hours during the night. I volunteered for this job. So I got to bring the darling back to my Apartment.



It's doing very well this morning, playing and following me everywhere. Kris wants to name her Bells. I rather like the name.
The vet said she has an eye infection, but other than that is doing well.

I love my MacBook. Thus far it has brought me joy.

i have, however, found a fatel flaw:

There is no Apple works, no word perfect, no word, no nothing! Why? Why?

How can I change this? Any ideas?

Bring me that Horizon

Best. Pirate. Day. Ever.

There were many piraty costumes, much singing, much "arrr"-ing, Kris did a dance, Nate did a funnier dance and the movie wasn't bad either. All I'm saying is that Johnny Depp started out the movie in a coffin and ended in chains. I'm just saying.

Also, there seems to be an obsession with Rum. Time flies when ye arr having rum. Drink up me harties yo ho!

Change

It's official:

In September I'm moving to San Diego. I'll be there for almost a full year.

I really don't know how I'm going to leave all my friends behind. I'm having the time of my life here, I don't want it to end.

I've never lived outside of Provo before; Ever.

I know it will be fine and I'll have a lot of fun in California. I know I'm doing what I need to do and I will love it.

But basically, I'm terrified.

Warm Rain

Hello...
Can you hear me? Am I getting through to you?

Hello...
Is it late there?
There's a laughter on the line. Are you sure youre there alone?
'cause I'm trying to explain somethings wrong. You just dont sound the same.

Why don't you go outside
Kiss the Rain

Hello...
Do you miss me?
I hear you say you do But not the way I'm missing you.

What's new?
Hows the weather?
Is it stormy where you are?
You sound so close but it feels like youre so far.
Oh would it mean anything if you knew What I'm left imagining in my mind?

Would you go
Kiss the rain

As you fall over me
Think of me; Only me
Kiss the rain
Whenever you need me
Kiss the rain
Whenever I'm gone too long
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain
And wait for the dawn
Keep in mind
Were under the same sky
And the nights
As empty for me as for you
If you feel
You cant wait till morning
Kiss the rain

Anything for laugh

Friday was Free Freeze Pop Day. This involved us sitting out on BYU campus with a sign, lawn chairs, and a cooler full of dry ice, Sobes, and of course, Freeze Pops. The idea was anyone could get a freeze pop if they made us laugh.

We laughed at:
an EFY counselor perform two ridiculous dancers with his kids
An EFY group perform an entire skit
Two girls doing a clapping/slapping routine they had known since sixth grade
Kids walking on their knees
A full stand up routine
countless jokes and embarrassing moments. Here are the highlights:

An EFY EMT recalled how the counselors decided to turn the service project into a race. All of them ran up to get the supplies for their groups. The grabbed handfuls of blankets and (oops) scissors. Unfortunately, some of the scissors were open. The EMT got called and sent to the bathroom where she found blood EVERYWHERE! On the mirrors, the sinks, the floor, the door handles, the walls. She asked who was hurt, around eight counselors responded: ME!

A Couple recounted how he had "lost" the car for four days. They thought it had been stolen and reported it to the police. As it turns out he had just parked it and forgot about it.

A boy trying to impress the ladies was riding his bike in front of the yard the girls were standing in. A little dog barked at him and he turned to shoo it away. He turned around and ran smack into a mailbox.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse?
Neither did she.

A boy with a wooden eye goes to a dance and sees a way hot girl with a wooden leg. He asks her if she'd like to dance and excitedly she replies: Would I, Would I!!! He replies: Peg leg Peg leg.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs up in a tree?
Russell

A man comes home to find his girlfriend packing. She's visibly upset so he asks her what's wrong. "I'm leaving you! I just found you're a pedophile!" "A pedophile? That's an awfully big word for a ten year old."

How do you make Holy water?
You boil the hell out of it

What do you do with Holy Water?
You make pope-sicles

And so on. The day was a success.

She wants a car that will get her there

After some waiting I finally received a car from my Aunt and Uncle. I love them both dearly, and a year and a half ago they decided to fix up their old car for me. This car is now in my possession. I love it.

It's very old, a 91, and it's quite ragged. All it really needs is time and money. I decided to name the car Ferrall. So there you have it, Ferrall is doing quite splendidly.

I named him that because he's wild, and because He comes from the Ferrall side of my family. I've always wanted to be a Ferrall girl, with the skinny ankles, the long tapered fingers, the red hair and the firery personality to match. I decided If I can't be a Ferrall, at least my car can; Which I know makes no sense whatsoever, but it works.

Yesterday Bradley and I went on a mission to make Ferrall beautiful. We bought him seat covers, a steering wheel cover (That is oh-so-soft!) and hubcaps. Bradley was so patient with me the whole time. Afterward we went through a car wash and scrubbed him clean. Afterward I vacuumed his insides while Bradley put on the hubcaps.

Voila! Ferrall is the most gorgeous cars on the road! He just needs minor improvements from here on out.

Road Trip!

The adventure begins:

After a late start Kris, Nate and I head out in Charlotte. The ride is very long. After 4 1/2 hours of straight driving we stop in Monticello to stretch out legs and view the temple.




Kris and Nate had a serious conversation



A little snack-y snack is in order before taking off again.







Soon the journey continued and at 9pm we finally arrived at the hotel. Pratt was waiting outside so i got to see him as soon as we pulled into the parking lot.

We attempted swimming at the outdoor pool was the water was frigid so we retreated back inside after ten minutes.

The next day Pratt and I went in search of breakfast (Have you ever eaten McDonald's in front of a vegetarian? They look at you like you're barbecuing a baby!) And had quite the wonderful talk.

Back at the hotel, Nate and Kris were still getting ready for the day



Afterward all four of us headed out to Mesa Verde so see the sites. And what amazing sites they were!























We went back to the hotel for more swimming, which, again, I couldn't do for long so Pratt and I talked while Kris and Nate swam. We then went to dinner which turned out to be wonderful both in the food and in the before, during and after conversation.

Sunday morning is time for good-byes



Nate is confident he can drive us back to Provo




It is a very, very long car ride. kris thinks she might asplode




Thankfully, we all make it back safely (well, almost; After we had parked Kris fell out of the car, but she was ok).

Looking forward to the next road trip!!!

"We have them, repeat, we have them!"

Last night was the best night game adventure ever!

It was a really good turn out (12 people) So we could play the fugitive game. It was so much fun! Afterward we played Ghosts in the Graveyard and Bradley, Jennie and I ended up singing at the top of our lungs so we would be found. Afterward we went back to the house and played Super smash Brothers, which was hilarious. We ate the most delicious drumsticks and ice cream sandwiches.

Everyone said they had fun so we're going to play again, maybe next week. It's good to have Miriam back, now if only Matt and Pratt would be the cops and Sarah could be a fugitive. . . I could see this being the best game ever.

Yesterday in the mail. . .

I am now, officially, certified.

I am can now put C.I.M.I. After my name.

Certified Infant Massage Instructor.

Huzzah!

My certificate and I.D. came in the mail yesterday. I only missed 1.5 questions on the test (there were 100 multiple choice questions, 100 short essay questions and a written part of the test).
So there you go. I'm am so ready to start a real career!

Billy the Kid, Butch Cassidy and. . .

This weekend I went up out of town to have a miniture family gethering and so many stories happened I'm at a loss as to wich one to blog. Hmmmmm. . .

Poopah and my new Grandma Poomah (whom I adore) wanted to go on a 45 minute tour in very cold weather. My sister and brother-in-law decised this would not be fun. Therefore, we wandered around downtown and found a perfect bandit hide-out, Perfect name and everything. We decided to set up our headquarters there. We committed and solved many murders before called back to the rest of the family.

"Poisen Creek Mercantile" is a building with furniture stores inside. Because it was memorial day, the building was open, but the stores were closed. So we sat down in the middle of the heated, lighted hallway and played CLUE. It was great.

I miss everyone

For the first time ever, I wish summer was over

Bath time!

Yesterday I arrived home and was greeted with the words: "Your cat ran away last night"

I was highly confused, as Acouchi is terrified of the outdoors and has never once set foot outside our apartment. Apparently, she decided to overcome her fear. She made her escape at night and at approximately 4:00 pm Kris heard her meowing outside the front door. She opened it and Acouchi came slinking in.

I know you're wondering how I could not realize my baby was gone for over twelve hours, but it's actually pretty common for me to misplace things, I can just imagine what will happen when I have human children:

Neighborhood kid: Can Jimmy come play with us?
Me: Jimmy. . . Jimmy. . .Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him in like a month. Where did I last see him. . .Hey husband, did I ever pick Jimmy up from soccer camp?

It's quite frightening.
Anyway, I go into the living room to question Acouchi herself. She is FILTHY. VERY VERY FILTHY.
This must be remedies immediately.
I go into the bathroom, Fill up the tub to cat-friendly heights, grab a pitcher from the kitchen and then carry Acouchi into the bathroom.
She, of course, flails around, leaving some oh-so-deep cuts on my arm before I plop her into the water and dump a pitcher full of water onto her head. She stands there, stunned, then raises her head, looks at me and very loudly says: MEOW! In a very perturbed sort of way.
It is wrong that I was thoroughly amused?
I soap her up with Lavender soap, scrub her until she won't stand for it anymore, rinse her off, dry her off, and then groom her until she is once again the gorgeous mini-cougar she once was. Only now, she smells surprisingly good.