Bath time!

Yesterday I arrived home and was greeted with the words: "Your cat ran away last night"

I was highly confused, as Acouchi is terrified of the outdoors and has never once set foot outside our apartment. Apparently, she decided to overcome her fear. She made her escape at night and at approximately 4:00 pm Kris heard her meowing outside the front door. She opened it and Acouchi came slinking in.

I know you're wondering how I could not realize my baby was gone for over twelve hours, but it's actually pretty common for me to misplace things, I can just imagine what will happen when I have human children:

Neighborhood kid: Can Jimmy come play with us?
Me: Jimmy. . . Jimmy. . .Where is he anyway? I haven't seen him in like a month. Where did I last see him. . .Hey husband, did I ever pick Jimmy up from soccer camp?

It's quite frightening.
Anyway, I go into the living room to question Acouchi herself. She is FILTHY. VERY VERY FILTHY.
This must be remedies immediately.
I go into the bathroom, Fill up the tub to cat-friendly heights, grab a pitcher from the kitchen and then carry Acouchi into the bathroom.
She, of course, flails around, leaving some oh-so-deep cuts on my arm before I plop her into the water and dump a pitcher full of water onto her head. She stands there, stunned, then raises her head, looks at me and very loudly says: MEOW! In a very perturbed sort of way.
It is wrong that I was thoroughly amused?
I soap her up with Lavender soap, scrub her until she won't stand for it anymore, rinse her off, dry her off, and then groom her until she is once again the gorgeous mini-cougar she once was. Only now, she smells surprisingly good.