Sunday, April 11, 2010

We're Being Intrepidatious. We're Out To Discover!

My house is in shambles. We were supposed to celebrate Easter this week, but no such luck. I look around me and wonder why it's so hard for me to get up and clean?

Oh, right. Because I am literally tied to my bed, seven times a day for twenty minutes each.

Hate HATE HATE pumping.

However, I have recently discovered that I am not the only mom in the world who exclusively pumps. As I talk with them, they tell me it really does suck, and no one really understands how much it sucks, and to hang in there. One women I've been talking to has EP-ed for thirty-two months now. Wow. That women is my hero.

So, as I sit here, time after time, thinking about how to improve the situation, I realize I need to invent a new breast pump. The problem with the ones on the market today are that they are machines that you have to plug into the wall and then sit in front of while they work. Also, while it is acceptable to nurse in public, NO ONE thinks it's ok to pump in public. Thus, every time I need to pump, I have to run home, hide in my back room and close the door. What I need is a breast pump that looks like a baby and is portable. I'll design it so it looks like a newborn in a sling. It will be a hands-free pump. The beauty of it will be that you can just hook it up and set a timer, so you can get "milked" every three hours, without having to do anything. A timer will go off, and you can just keep doing what you're doing without even changing bottles. The milk would go into the hollow baby and be kept there until you want to empty it. That way, I can go out in the world and not have to be home every three hours. I can have company over and not hide in the back, I can go shopping, to a movie, or even maybe clean my house.

Yes, I am desperate. Yes, I am going crazy.

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