Their Furry Bodies, and Their Sticky Webs, and What do They Need All Those Legs for Anyway? I'll Tell You: For Crawling Across Your Face in the Middle of the Night. How do They Not Ruffle You?

It's been a boring week. Not in a bad way, just, uneventful; nothing worth posting about,

And then this morning happened.

First off, some background:
Yesterday Drek, Ash and I volunteered with Mormon Helping Hands. Our service project was to repaint a house for down syndrome adults. Before we painted, we scraped, before we could scrape,  we needed to take down the Christmas lights. The ladders hadn't been brought out yet, so I grabbed a plastic lawn chair, climbed up and started to take the lights down. Apparently I shouldn't have had such a big breakfast because the chair couldn't hold my weight. The plastic broke and I fell through the chair. It scraped up my legs and did something to my back. I feel really old saying it, but my back was really hurting for the rest of the day. It hurt when I went to bed last night, and it hurt this morning.

Okay, so this morning: My back hurt while I made Ash her breakfast. I even made her some hot chocolate (out of coconut milk, cocoa and xylitol). I got ready for church and picked out a dress for Ash. Drek got Ash dressed and the morning went on. Ash came into Ben's office and said "I'm sick." before throwing up the hot chocolate all over the carpet. She then turned around and threw up all over the hallway carpet. Drek and I rushed to make sure Ash was okay and clean up the many messes.

Drek decided he still needed to go to church and I would stay home with Ash. I loved this idea since my back was hurting and I didn't want to sit on church benches for three hours. Drek left, and I dressed Ash in warm pajamas and pushed the couch in front of the computer so we could snuggle under blankets and watch movies. I had Ash in my arms, and adjusted the couch, when I looked down, and there, right in front of me on the couch, right next to my hand, was the BIGGEST SPIDER EVER. One of those ginormous wolf spiders that were everywhere when we moved in and I haven't seen since.

Needless to say, I momentarily forgot about my back pain. Basically I screamed and jumped away, then screamed again and ran into the bedroom. Ash was like Did my mother just go insane? but was very comforting. "You okay? You scream? You okay?"

I made it to the bedroom, couldn't find my phone and broke down into a panic attack. I finally made it over to Drek's laptop and tried to call him through google voice, but couldn't get the audio to work. I resorted to texting him (something incoherent like EMERGENCY! Being attacked by monster arachnid!) and when he texted me back I heard my cell phone ping was able to find it. By the time Drek came home I had barricaded us into my room.

Drek didn't even have to ask the location of the spider. He bravely vacuums it up, slaying the mighty beast. He emptied the vacuum and then came to free his princesses from the tower. Ash was delighted to see her dad: "Hi daddy! Mommy scream! Mommy scream!" And I was delighted that my hero had come to save me.

Lets hope things go back to uneventful.

Hilarious! Earth Gets One Day. The Other 364 We're Cranking the AC in Our Hummer and Then One Day A Year, Ooh, Separate the Plastic.

I supposed I should do my annual Earth day post. I missed posting on the actual day (April 22) because I was at my Twin Cousin's wedding. They purposely scheduled it on Earth Day and did everything they could to make it a very earth-friendly wedding: They were married in a beautiful grove of trees. The decorations were all done by mother nature: nothing was added. The music was provided live by an amazing violinist. The bouquet was an artichoke and they even included a part about "I will leave the earth better than I found it" in their vows.  The whole thing was really beautiful.

We had a great time at the wedding. It was wonderful to see my Twin cousin and I love her new husband. I am so happy for them! I got to spend some time with family and take a road trip with Drek and Ash. We had a great time! 

So, what have I done since last Earth Day to save the planet? Well, I've planted twenty two trees (two of which died. Sigh.) four raspberry bushes, a blueberry bush and a strawberry patch.

Thank's to Drek's awesome birthday present, we recently started composting! 

We're trying to eat more local food. By "local" I mean "things we produce ourselves." We have a wonderful garden this year and should have lots of vegetables within the next few months. We got honeybees! Our hive is doing fantastic, I discovered I LOVE being a beekeeper and we'll be able to harvest our own honey in the fall! We did have chickens, up until last week when Sun, Charlotte, Anna Lucia and Ji Yeon were all eaten by a coyote. They didn't lay a lot of eggs, but we were getting three our four a week. Poor chickens. I suppose they were getting old. Anyway, we did still buy eggs, but it was either from a neighbor who owns lots chickens or our backyard neighbor. Our backyard neighbor has already started to raise a whole coop of chicks. In a few months they will be old enough for us to buy so we can have our own chickens again. 

 Recently I've decided that I just don't want to drink cow's milk until I can actually own the cow myself. That means for now and the foreseeable future we don't drink milk or eat cheese. I've also cut out sugar, which basically means I've taken one huge step towards Vegan this month. I still use butter and cream, though, because I'm lazy and they are delicious.

We're trying to use less gas: Drek rides his bike to work everyday and Ash and I either take the bus or ride our bike and bike trailer most places. I try to carpool as much as possible. 

Drek set up rain barrels to catch and store water so we can use that to water our trees and garden. I try to be really conscious about the electricity we use by making sure lights are turned off, things are unplugged when not in use, we don't leave phone chargers plugged in, and such. I've managed to get our bill down to $20-$35 per month. We still don't own a dryer so for a full year now I've been drying laundry on a clothesline, which is very eco-friendly. 

I've also tried to be more aware of packaging: When I'm shopping I mostly try to avoid packaging, but when it's unavoidable I try to buy as little packaging as possible. This has affected things like butter: I buy the brand that comes in a one pound block, rather than the little individually wrapped sticks. I've started saving my produce bags and taking them back to the store to re-use. I actually love doing this because it's so much easier to reach into my cart and pull out a bag to fill with apples, then to look around for the role of bags, navigate my cart/toddler over to it, pull one off, navigate back to the apples and then fill it. 

So, mostly this year I've just made little changes, but I use those changes almost everyday. I'm hoping they add to big things. I didn't have an awesome wedding to promote Earth Day, but I did attend one and that was very cool.

Goals for next year:

Make more of an effort to buy organic. I know it's healthier. I know it's better. It's just that it's more money and I hate spending money.

Produce a higher percentage my own food: Through gardening, chickens and honeybees!

Stick with no milk, no cheese, no sugar.

Reduce waste

Do another month of  self-imposed non-consumer store/shopping ban. 

Right. Wasn't Here. Didn't See It. Couldn't Have Stopped You

Okay, I've been twenty-six for eleven days now. Maybe I should finally blog about it.

My birthday was on Easter this year. It's not the first time that unfortunate scheduling dilemma has cropped up. It's hard to celebrate Easter and a Birthday on the same day. Still, Drek surprised me by unveiling the super secret project he's been hammering away at for the past week: He made me a composter! My husband is a genius! Now, a composter might not shout "true love" to you, but I actually asked Drek for a composter and he went above and beyond to actually build me one. He is so amazing.

Drek's sister also surprised me by arranging a birthday hunt for me. I came out to the front of my house and found a card that said "Pull Here" attached to a string. I pulled the string down and on the other end was a balloon! Taped to the balloon was a little bag full of little squares of paper. A puzzle! Not a jigsaw puzzle, mind you, apparently that would be too easy. These were all straight edges with no design, just words, that I somehow had to piece back together. What fun! I don't know how long it took me, but I finally came up with this:

I went snooping along the fence and found this cleverly hidden: 

The pieces of paper are coupons from a few of my friends! They are things like "one free dinner" and "Free babysitting." Also, a rosebush, a hummingbird feeder and food and a bottle of the most delicious Japanese dressing ever. Is't that so sweet?! I loved it! It was such surprise and I was so thrilled that it was actually done on my birthday. My plan was simply to put of celebrating my birthday until next year, but there was this wonderful surprise. Other than that it seemed everyone else's plan was to still do birthday stuff this year, just not on the actual day: Drek took me out to dinner the night before, my friend took me out to lunch the day after, and I got a few packages in the mail last week:

One was a card from my parents. I opened it over breakfast. My breakfast was a banana (I only mention that because it becomes important). The front of the card had a picture of a monkey dressed up like a fortune teller. The inside of the card said: We see a great year in your future...or Banans. It's Unclear.  Best. Parents. Ever. I laughed and then had to read the card aloud to Drek who pointed to my breakfast and said "It's happening already!" It was a great card.

Close behind was a card from Mei-Mei. She's in the MTC so I was just excited to get a letter from her!

The next package was from Kristling: Two seasons of a new show to obsess over. Krisling is usually the one who introduces me to my favorite shows: Firefly, Lost, all thanks to Krisling. I'm only on episode four of this new one, but I'm already in love.

My friend made me (because she is a sewing genius) kitchen towels with bananas on them. They are adorable.

But the most touching present came before my birthday. My sister gave it to me early. She knew one of my favorite authors is Shannon Hale, and that I had just finished the Goose Girl series. She bought be my favorite book from that series and had actually gotten it signed by Shannon Hale (It says: For K La- May you find your voice and shout it to the world). But here is the best part: Shannon Hale asked if she (my sister) was a writer and my sister answered "My sister is."

Yeah. Basically I tear up every time I think about it. I have the best sister in the world.

Thank You, Dawson. Smile Everyone!

There are ten children in Drek's family. I assume with ten kids, family pictures are difficult, and it only gets worse when you add in-laws and grandchildren. I believe (and correct me if I'm wrong) the last picture with the entire family was taken around seven years ago. Since then, the family has changed drastically, adding fifteen new people, including me and Ash. Two years ago another family picture was attempted, but three people were missing from the photo shoot and the pictures turned out...comical. I still framed it and put it on the bookshelf (as it is the only picture of Drek's family with me and Ash) but I was holding out hope for a better one.

Back in March we were determined to get a good family photo! Drek's sister is an amazing photographer and she brought her professional camera up to make sure we would have high-quality pictures. Everyone was instructed what to wear, and a location with the perfect background and light was selected. We were still missing one person from the photo shoot, but we were determined to make it work with what we had! 

For the actual photo shoot, Ash wanted to be with her Daddy. I thought this over very quickly: doesn't the mother usually hold the child in family photographs? But why? What message are we sending with that subtle image? Is that my personal bias? Do I want to raise my kid with that same bias? If Drek wants to hold his child for a photo, why not?  And so Drek held Ash for the duration of the photo shoot. 

Ladies and Gentleman, I can now tell you why the mothers are traditionally the ones holding children in family photos: It is because fathers are completely oblivious to the fact their precious little angels have their finger up their nose for EVERY SINGLE PICTURE. Mothers are aware enough to notice and hold the child's hand before a single photo is taken, but Father's won't notice until several days later when the photos are emailed out and everyone is looking great except your kid, whose face is obscured by a finger jammed up a nose. Only then will they notice. 

Twenty-nine people in the photo. The lighting is perfect, everyone looks so nice, and then my child is right in the middle, making me question if I should use this photo to replace the last photo, or if I should just stick with what we've got. 

Luckily, Ben's sister photographer was prepared for such a disaster and took a single photo in a different location. That picture turned out great, at least as far as fingers and noses are concerned. I think that will be the one displayed in out living room. Until the next attempt...

She's Exhausted from the Days Work. Uh, Not That it Was to Much, We, We Quite Enjoyed It...

Happy Passover! Okay, so it's not Passover. I think it ended yesterday, but that might not be accurate. I really wanted to celebrate it this year (It's an entire holiday devoted to my favorite Bible story!) and picked yesterday to celebrate (since I don't know how how to make a celebration weeks long) but I was too tired yesterday. I did it today instead. Hooray!

First off, I am not Jewish. Sadly, I don't know any Jewish people I can ask for help (or invite myself over to their party) and I've never been to a real Jewish Passover, so I had to rely on my books for information:

Yeah, those are children's picture books. So what? They were helpful.

With these books as my guide, I looked up Passover recipes online, then traditional Jewish recipes, then vegetarian Passover recipes. It was an adventure. At first I was surprised that so many people suggested Challah (pronounced Halla!) because I thought you weren't supposed to have any chometz, which I thought was yeast. I looked up the wiki on Chometz and still can't tell you what it is, but the important thing is it's not yeast. I suppose there might be a downside to the simplicity of my resources.

The whole thing required me learning a lot of new words:

Kugel, Matzo soup, charoset (which is amazingly delicious) hard boiled eggs, and just look at how beautiful my Challah turned out! 

This is my first attempt at Jewish food. I think it went well! We even had Matzo brie for breakfast! 

This was our sedar plate: 

I read that vegetarians can use a roasted beet instead of a shank bone and that it is even more effective because it has more blood. I also forgot the lettuce and didn't have any horseradish. sigh.

But dinner went great! And then we watched the Prince of Egypt. Next year in Jerusalem!

You Buried My Easter Eggs Five Feet Underground. And I Left Loose Dirt to Indicate a Fresh Dig. Yeah, Under a Camoflauge Tarp Covered with Bricks and Broken Glass

To me, Easter means eggs. My favorite thing is coloring them, my second favorite thing is eating all those dyed hard boiled eggs.

When I was a child, our next door neighbor threw a huge Easter Egg hunt and brunch at her house. She invited all her children, grand children, great grand children, the whole neighborhood, anyone who had ever lived in the neighborhood, and anyone else that wanted to make her Easter Egg hunt a part of their Easter tradition. The festivities were always on Saturday and I grew up assuming all Easter Egg hunts took place the day before Easter. I actually really like that tradition and hope that my daughter grows up with the same belief.

Anyway, she didn't use plastic eggs for her hunt, she used real hard boiled eggs. Her children colored a lot of them, but she needed more. My family volunteered and several years in a row I remember having two or three dozen eggs per family member. Coloring eggs was a serious job in my house.

Unfortunately I haven't found such a demand of colored hard boiled eggs in Sunland; it seems most people use plastic eggs. Still, last Wednesday our little family colored three dozen Easter Egg. Our neighbor hid the eggs in her front yard for Ash to find. Maybe three dozen eggs is a little much for one two year old? I don't think so. She's actually at the perfect age for Egg hunts and it was high entertainment just to watch her.

After that hunt we went to another one at our church where Ash discovered plastic Easter eggs:

That same day we did all the Easter basket stuff so that on Sunday we could focus more on the Christ aspects of Easter. We went to church, had the missionaries over for lunch, and then had a huge dinner with our neighbors.

I worked really hard on the dinner. everything was made from scratch: Red Potato Salad, Baked Beans, Wild Rice casserole, Orange Rolls and Deviled Eggs. I took a little artistic licence with the deviled eggs:

See? We have to color all those Easter Eggs so we can use them in adorable recipes like this!

Or What? Are You Gonna Release the Hounds, or the Bees, or the Hounds with Bees in Their Mouths so Every Time They Bark at You They Shoot Bees at You?

So there I stood, in a swarm of 15,120 honey bees looking for their queen. Actually, I was looking for the queen myself. Yesterday, when the postman dropped the box of three pounds of bees on my doorstep, the package arrived with instructions that said what to do with the queen, but didn't specify where she was located. After dumping the bees into the hive (No small feat, but a great workout for your arms) I opened a can hoping to find the queen inside: nope, just more bees.

Finally, after what seemed like an hour (time slows down when you have have thousands of little stinger-ed creatures  flying all around you), Drek pointed out a small metal hook in the box. The queen was put safely into the hive and then I assembled the rest of the hive. I started to walk away, but the bees followed me. I think that sugar water I sprayed all over their frames must have gotten onto me. They thought I was dinner.

I took off my gloves and one brave bee landed on my hand. It walked around for a bit before stopping on the top of my wedding ring. It seemed very content there. So content I had to gently blow it away to make it leave.

I'm worried the queen didn't survive the shaking, but we have to wait a few days before finding out. Other than that, it was a great experience! I look forward to a long and productive relationship with my new hive!

Trying To Make Breastfeeding Normal Part 2

Back in October I went to a baby shower with a Breastfeeding Basket for the mom. I love the idea of a Breastfeeding Basket; giving a gift that is actually useful at a baby shower, normalizes breasfeeding, supports the mother and so on, but after I gave the gift my self-confidence dropped and I wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

I posted about it and you, wonderful readers, really helped me with your comments. So much so that I went to another baby shower last week and once again made a Breastfeeding Basket as a gift. In this basket I included a little baby shower greeting card with a list inside of why I gave her all this random stuff:


Dear (Mother's name), 
 Congratulations!! I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world! I wanted to get you a Breasfeeding Basket because nothing I can get your new little one is as good as what you can give them. First, the basket. Just keep it stocked with water, snacks and books so you can move it around with you whenever your little one gets hungary, then you’ll have what you need within reach! 
Water: Make sure you stay hydrated! Not only will it make you feel more energetic, keep you healthier and slim you down faster, but it helps with milk production! 
Mother’s Milk Tea: Just in case you have supply difficulties. You can also try Fenugreek pills or sprinkle Brewer’s Yeast on your food. 
Luna Bars: Just a little snack in case you get hungry while nursing! 
Motherlove Nipple Cream: This stuff was a lifesaver for me! 
Booby Tubes: I didn't hear about them until after my baby, but I hear they are wonderful! 
All my love, 
-K La


I didn't include Fenugreek pills in this basket like I did the last one for a few reasons: one, the last mother was planning on a C-section, which can cause milk production problems. This mother was't planning a C-section. Second, I don't really feel comfortable giving pills as gifts and third, I don't want to cause milk production problems by predicting milk production problems.

I think next time I do a breasfeeding basket I'll include a book or some sort for entertainment while nursing. I should finds a good book on Breastfeeding. Any suggestions?

Well, Let Me See. Oh Yes, Lovely. Lembas Bread. And Look! More Lembas Bread

The 182nd annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was Saturday and Sunday.

Once again we pitched our tent round about the computer. And once again I wanted to only eat food our of our 72-hour kits during the 48 hours of General Conference. This time it went much better. Last October, after discovering MRE's were not delicious, I went to the grocery store to find good I could cram into a backpack and eat six months down the road. I wanted food that was not only tasty, but also healthy (in this case, "healthy" means no MSG or HFCS). I wanted food that I after eating for 42-72 hours, would not make me feel sick or starving. This is my report:

Breakfast on Saturday was Pop Tarts and R.W. Knudsen Juice boxes. The poptars were tasty, but very sugary. I think they are more desert than breakfast. Maybe when I restock I should go with more fruit bar type stuff.  The juice box was a huge hit with both my taste buds and with Ash. I will definitely restock that one.

Lunch was the St. Dalfour Ready to Eat Gourmet on the Go meals. I was very excited when I found those on the shelf at my local health food store.  They have vegetarian and non- vegetarian options, they don't expire until 2013 and they come with a fork. It's perfect for 72-hour kits. I got one of each flavor and we taste tested them today. I'll re stock our favorite ones.

Dinner was the Pacific organic Poblano Pepper and Corn soup. It was actually very tasty. We heated it up and Drek and I split one box. I will get that again and also add some sort of crackers.

Snacks were Lara Bars and chocolate coconut milk. When I restock I'd like to add dried fruits and almonds.

Breakfast on Sunday was one i was excited about: cold cereal! It comes in it's own bowl so I just had to pack a spoon. Horizon organic milk comes in little juice boxes that you don't have to refrigerate so we just poured it straight into our bowls. There was enough milk in one little juice box for two bowls. That't a perfect 72-hour kit meal!

Lunch was more Gourmet on the Go and Pacific soups (by this time we were hungry). Dinner was MRE's we had left over from October's conference.

Around five our wonderful friends came over and brought us delicious fresh-made brownies. By this point we were all ecstatic to see "real food". Those brownies were the best brownies I have ever eaten.

I think I'm on the right track with my 72-hour kits. The next step is to go the store, get everything on my "restock" list and see if I can't get some more good ideas. Any suggestions?

Far and Wide His Love Proclaim

Normally, I am online for several hours a day. In contrast, when I am on vacation I have little to no problem not having access to a computer. If I try to go even one day without a computer at home I fail miserably, but it's not hard at all while I'm on vacation. Odd.

Regardless; I am now home again, with full use of both a computer and the internet. And thus, I shall blog: 

Drek's brother got home from serving a two year mission in the Philippines. We hadn't seen him in two years so it was a real treat to be able to spend time with him. He is such a good kid. I very much enjoyed the slideshow he gave us with all of his mission pictures and several stories. He brought back a belt for Drek and  strand of real pearls for me. I am so delighted.

My sister is now in the MTC, preparing to serve her mission. It was so much fun to spend a little bit of time with her. One morning we got up early and went to the temple together, which was wonderful. I'm glad we did that. I wasn't able to actually see her off, but since it't dropping her off in a parking lot, I'm not too bummed out about that. I wish I could have been there for her setting apart, by all accounts it was amazing and very moving and I am am fairly upset I missed it, but we were almost back to Sunland at that time. 

Both the incoming and outgoing missionaries gave their Sacrament meeting talks on the same day. Ash and I got to attend both meetings. Both talks were wonderful, although he best part of both was seeing all the family coming to support the missionary. 

Translation? A Hundred Thousand Welcomes

C'ead Mile Failte! St Patrick's Day was a little different this year. Of course we had Lucky Charms for breakfast, but it was eaten with no milk out of those individual cereal boxes while on the start of a very long car trip.  Ash and I drove back to hometown with Anna and her three children. Anna had decorated the mini van windows with little St. Patrick's Day stickers and a leprechaun hid a pot of gold somewhere inside!

It was a very long drive for four very small children, and we were not going to have any sort of movies, so I wanted to make sure the children were kept motivated. We had three checkpoints along the trip. Every time we got to a checkpoint, if the child had been good, they got a gift bag filled with treats and little things to keep them occupied until the next checkpoint. They were filled with things like boxes of raisins, juice boxes, notepads, books, music CD's, whiteboards, dollar store toys, tic-tacs, coloring books and in each bag, a map to the next checkpoint.

The bags were fun, but as it turned out, unnecessary. The children did very well the whole trip. We made it safe and sound and despite the fact I did not have a St Patick's Day Party this year, It was still a fun day. Ob the drive we saw the most amazing rainbow. It was across the whole sky and vibrant! At first it was a half rainbow, but as we watched it it became a whole arc! It was so vivid we could see where it touched the ground. We were sorely tempted to chase the end of the rainbow and find the pot of gold, but we did have a schedule to keep. And we are so excited to be back in Hometown!

The Airport Stairway Vehicle is the Last Vestige of the Bluth's Former Wealth. Also, That House Of Pies Went Out of Business

Happy Pi Day! 

First, A story: 

When I was in elementary school, I was given coupons for one free slice of pie at a restaurant called Frontier Pies. I can't remember what I was being rewarded for, but I got a coupon at least once a year for several years. 

We would only go to Frontier Pies when I had a coupon, and every time I would order a slice of Cherry Chocolate Pie. I thought it was the most amazing pie in the world. Alas, one time I went in and was informed that Cherry Chocolate Pie was no longer on the menu. 

A few years later the place closed (probably because they stopped serving Cherry Chocolate Pie, if you ask me) So I was unable to go in and ask them for their recipe. Subsequent internet searches have also failed.  

I have tried to imitate that pie. I've tried it using different brands of instant chocolate pudding, and Cook and Serve Jello pudding. I've tried cherry pie filling from a can, and frozen cherries. One year a baker (my wonderful boss) even made me a Cherry Chocolate Pie for Christmas. All these attempt have come close, but just haven't tasted like what I remember. 

For this Pi Day, I had it in my head to try a Cherry Chocolate Pie purely from scratch: homemade pie dough, a fresh bag of cherries pitted and cooked to turn into the filling, melted chocolate to make homemade pudding... And then I ran out of time. Also, cherries aren't in season. 

So I bought a Kroger pre-made frozen crust, can of cherry pie filling and box of instant chocolate pudding. 

Bingo. That was it. It tasted exactly right. 

but, I'm getting ahead of myself. For breakfast, we had egg pie, otherwise known as quiche: 

 Mushrooms, spinach, bacon bits, cheese, yum!

For dinner we had a vegetable pot pie. I found the recipe this year, and this is my forth time making it. It is delicious! It's super healthy (whole wheat crust!) and super easy:

 

In preparation for this year's pie eating contest, I made tart-size chocolate cream pies and tart sized banana cream pies:

 Finally, it was party time! Each guest brought a pie, so there were plenty to choose from:

 

We had strawberry, peach, apple, lemon meringue, pumpkin, mini ice cream pies and, of course: 

 

The Cherry Chocolate Pie. 

To start, we had our pie-eating contest:

and a winner!

Some people think pie-eating is a leisure activity: 

 After that we ate pie, talked, and then ended the night with a game of 90's trivial pursuit (because the game pieces are little pies!) It was a good thing we were playing on large teams (boys vs girls) so wasn't put on the spot. Most of time I didn't even know to what the card was referring. Girls still won, though!

If only there had been a question about the recipe for Frontier Pie's Cherry Chocolate Pie. I would have looked like a genius.

You Always Knew You Were Destined for More. You Were Just Waiting for Your Singular Moment of Clarity

Happy International Women's Day! I didn't know this holiday existed until a few days ago when I was informed by TopHat, but I love the history and I love the idea! 

I am, as some of you may know, female. Being female, I give a lot of thought to what it means to be female and my identity and such. I give it a lot of thought because I think the answer has been tainted and warped to the point where most females have no idea what womanhood means, or even what motherhood means.

I am not an expert on the subject, bit this is my take on it: 

Think of a superhero: Spiderman, Elastagirl, whoever (I’m partial to X-men, myself). Continue this analogy with that superhero: 

First, let's understand that there is difference between the person (Wolverine) the gift (Healing) and what the person uses the gift to (Be awesome). No one would ever say that Wolverine is just a healing superpower, because even though he does have that gift, he's also a person, with character, with personality, with strengths, weaknesses and an attitude problem.  Does Spiderman somehow degrade the identity of Peter Parker every time he uses his spider scenes? No! Using his gift will change Peter Parker, but only to make him more awesome! Not by erasing who he is.

Every superhero struggles with his identity. But in the end, no superhero decides that they are better off without their gift. No superhero decides to turn away from their gift. It’s their destiny! It’s still them, just with added superpowers!

In my view, it’s the same with women. Did you know woman have a superpower for empathy, diplomacy and multi-tasking and reading human emotions? Did you know both men and women get more satisfaction from a conversation with a women over a conversation with a man? It's true! Now, just because a hero has a superpower, doesn't mean they are the best at that gift. For instance, Professor X and Jean Grey both have telekinetic as a superpower, but the power isn't equal. Gifts are given, but still have to be developed. 

Motherhood is am AWESOME Superpower. You can create life! You can produce amazing cancer-killing, life-giving, miracle milk! You can sense when your children are in danger! You can read minds! But, like any superpower, that’s not WHO you are, it’s just a gift that you have. Yes it will change you, but to make you more awesome!!

The only difference it what the world is telling the superhero. The world tells Peter Parker that spider senses and wall climbing are incredible, unique, and cool. The world tells women that their superpowers are lame, ordinary, and even low-class. THAT IS A LIE!

Really, I have studied pregnancy, labor, breast milk, and nurturing. They are incredible, unique, and cool. They cannot be duplicated by anything else. They can’t even be explained by scientists.

Now, does that mean that the greatest thing a women can accomplished is giving birth and lactating? Heck no! That’s like saying the most Spiderman accomplished was climbing a wall. It’s a gift! It’s a tool! It’s given to a person, an individual with an identity, and that person needs to take it and use it accomplish great things. And, as with every superhero, a choice needs to be made: Will you use your powers for good...?

You Rebel Scum

So, this post was supposed to be about our new cats; Currently our backyard is occupied by a heavy force of ground squirrels, who have created an alliance with the gophers. The rabbits are also still back there (although have made it clear that they are unaffiliated with the gopher/ground squirrel rebel fighters) and all those troops make it difficult for our garden and our lawn. Thus, Drek has asked the Feral Cat Coalition to send over a couple of mercenaries to drive out the rebellion.

They were supposed to arrive last night, but the volunteer from the  Feral Cat Coalition had car trouble and canceled at the last moment. So I don't have pictures of adorable  hunting cats to post.

It does, however. give me more time to research getting an owl. Did you know that if you build an owl house an owl family might move in? I really want to build one. Our neighbor a few blocks away built one and had an owl nest complete with eggs within a week. She also said she hasn't seen a gopher, ground squirrel, rabbit or mouse since the owls moved in. And you don't have to feed an owl or change its litter box.

Also, I'm afraid the cat mercenaries have been compromised. What if that car trouble was no accident...

There's a Storm Coming, Mr. Wayne. You and Your Friends Better Batten Down the Hatches, Because When it Hits, You're All Gonna Wonder How You Ever Thought you Could Live so Large and Leave So Little for the Rest of Us

Our house is in a quaint little location. You can see the freeway from our house, but because of all the trees you can't actually hear it. We're right next to apartments and shopping centers and on ramps and such, but our house in tucked away in a this little pocket, so you'd think we lived in the country. In order to get to our house, you have to turn down a dirt road, cross a bridge, and then turn again down a road that doesn't look driveable and dead-ends at our neighbor's house. 

I love it, but there are problems. First, no one can find our house. Everyone gets lost coming here. Second, we live in a flood area. That is, if there were ever to be terrible rainstorms and our city was to flood, our neighborhood would be the first to go. But floods aren't common here, and in the twenty five years since this house has been built there haven't been any floods. For whatever that's worth. 

A few nights ago we had a storm. The rain came down in droves and the wind was blowing down trees. The sound it kept me awake and I spent all night rehearsing what to do if our house flooded. 

Our house did not flood, not even close. But we did have a surprise in our yard when we looked out the window: 

That would be our neighbor's tree. It missed my precious orange tree by two feet. I looked out and frowned: What do we do in a situation like that? The tree would have to be cut up and hauled away and the fence would need to be repaired. How long would that take? I didn't want to devote an entire Saturday to such a lofty project!

Our neighbors were awesome. They knocked on the door that afternoon and asked if it was okay for them to come in our yard. I said yes and the next thing I knew, three guys were out there with chainsaws. Ten minutes later the tree was gone and the broken slats in the fence were replaced. TEN MINUTES. Apparently I live next door to ninjas.

I Won't Talk! I Won't Say a Word!

I love the Oscars. It's a fantastic excuse to get dressed up and eat great food and get together with people who also like to get dressed up and eat good food and pretend that movie awards are important.

I run into the same problem every year: It's not just that I haven't seen most of the nominated movies, it's that I can't see them because they are rated R (and it's against my personal standards to watch rated R movies). This year I ran into that problem compounded with another problem: ever since Ash was born, I just don't go to the movies. It might also have something to do with the fact that I no longer live next to a dollar theater.  In any case, out of the nine film nominated for best picture, I had seen one. Out of every single movie that was up for any kind of Oscar, I had seen four: two of which were Rango and Kung Fu Panda 2. But I have read the books The Help and Hugo

But, as with every year, I wasn't going to let that stop me! I watched the trailers for all the movies! I even looked up the trailers for the documentaries so I wouldn't be guessing blindly in that category this year.

Jenny and I planned a party, sent out an evite, and filled out our Oscar ballots. We even made food to represent each movie nominated for best picture:

Broccoli:

The Tree of Life

Fresh Strawberry and whipped cream Fruit Fool:

War Horse

Jelly-filled shortbread cookies:

The Artist

Apple cranberry crepes with cream cheese filling and fresh whipped cream on top:

 Midnight in Paris

Fresh sliced pineapple and mango:

 The Descendants

Mini hot dogs 

Moneyball

We also had chocolate cream pie for The Help, New York Style mini-pizzas for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, French Bread with jam and Brie for Hugo and, as an extra omage to the movie that would win "Best Animated Film," water for Rango

I Don't Know. Maybe Just for Once, I'd Like to Go to a Movie Where I Don't Get Seasick

Before the cruise, I hadn't spent much time on a boat. Sure, I'd been on a canoe, and we own a kayak so I have done that. I've been on a motor boat once or twice when I was little, but not for very long and I don't remember much.

I was a little anxious about seasickness so I took some ginger gum with me on the cruise despite assurances that "cruise boats are so big you can hardly tell you're on the water."

The above assurances are one hundred percent false. From the time we left dock, nothing was more apparent than the fact that I wasn't on stable ground. I could feel the waves.The movement was big enough to make you grab on to something, to stumble as you walked and to get tinges of nausea every now and then. I was so glad I brought my ginger gum. I did adjust quickly, however, once I realized that everything was normal, the waves weren't bigger that usual and we weren't going to capsize. I actually really liked the feeling. It was like being on a mild roller coaster all the time or trying to walk on a moving school bus, all things I love.

As surprising as that was, the real surprise came the moment we got off the boat at the end of the cruise.

"Are we on a dock?" I asked aloud, wondering why the ground was still rolling underneath me. We were not. But for the next forty eight hours it sure felt like it. Not only that, but I was very dizzy, I had a terrible headache and I was very nauseousness. Apparently my sea legs had adapted quickly to the boat, but my land legs could not adjust to the shore.

Up to a week later, I still dreamed I was on the boat being rocked so sleep by the waves. It took a few minutes after I woke up for that movement to vanish.

My conclusion is thus: It's the sea calling to me. My home is meant to be a boat. Now I only have to convince Drek...

I just got a call from our ward's Sunday School president. He asked me to switch the class I teach. Guess which class I'm teaching now...

I Don't Know About You, but I intend to Write a Strongly Worded Letter to the White Star Line About All of This

Last January Drek and I switched to the cash and envelope system of budgeting. My incentive for sticking to our budget was that every time I went under, the extra money was put into our cruise fund envelope/savings account.

Well, it worked. I did a fabulous (If I say so myself) job of sticking to the budget and I saved us up enough money to go on a cruise! Actually, to my delight, cruises aren't actually that expensive. It's the airfare to get you there and the alcohol on the cruise that really adds up. Luckily, I was saved from both those pesky expenses so  Drek and I booked a five day cruise over Valentine's Day.

We had a fantastic time. I have hundreds of pictures and dozens of stories but they can all be summed up by saying it was great. We spent Valentine's Day on Lover's Beach, I got to go snorkeling, we played a lot of games and ate a lot of food. Drek drove a motor boat, I got stung by a jellyfish and we're both happy to be home again.

Now I can save up for our next adventure.

I did want to add a few tips for those who are planning to go on a cruise, and for the next cruise I go on:

Tip one: Bring a water bottle. No, really. They cost $3.75 on the ship and you have to tip the person selling it to you. You can try to just drink water at mealtimes, like I did the firt few days, but thy can't give you water with no ice, the cups are tiny and with all that food you should be drinking A LOT of water.

Tip two: Bring a comfy jacket. Yes, it's nice and warm on the equator, but there are plenty of cold winds on the ocean.

Tip three: Bring a small backpack. Pack your suitcase/duffelbag, then pack a small backpack with a book, your waterbottle, and a deck of cards. Check your bags but keep your backpack. Even if you hate checking bags on airplanes, cruise ships are different. Check your bags, it will be okay. Also, take your backpack with your waterbottle on any shore excursions.

Technology. That's always Been Your Achilles Heel in this Part of the World

I was talking on the phone with an older gentlemen. He needed to send me a document so I spelled out my email address:

Me: "E-M-A-I-L at gmail dot com."

Him: "E-M-A-I-L-X?" 

Me: "No, E-M-A-I-L at gmail..." 

Him interrupting me: "L at?" 

Me: "Yes. At."

Him (No response)

Me: As in, the at symbol." 

Him: (Pausing) "...the what symbol?" 

Later, he said he would attach a document to an email. When I got the email it said: Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to attach the document. Can I fax it to you? But he had, actually, attached the file. 

A few days ago my neighbor asked me what a browser was. I was taken completely aback. 

"You mean you don't know? I thought everyone knew. It's imprinted knowledge human babies are born with, like holding their breath underwater."

I've been so amused by the whole ordeal. I find it so odd to realize that such terms haven't really been around that long.