Monday, May 18, 2009

Have You Tried Not Being A Mutant?

Great news! Acouchi is completely potty trained!!!!!!!

Bad news: The doctor said that was bad.

As you know, Acouchi has Hyperthyroidism. The medication worked great to control it (she took her medicine so well!) but, as a side effect, gave her, and I quote: "Itchyface." Which can lead to Baldface, which can lead to Noface. Therefore, keeping her on the medication is not an option (not like we would have anyway, she's too young to be on pills for the rest of her life). That leaves surgery (yikes!!) and Feline Radioactive Iodine Treatment.

FRIT is the treatment of choice by Acouchi's doctor. It is no risk of death, very low risk of bad stuff and 95% effective. It's also less expensive than surgery. The catch? There are two: 1) Only one clinic on our whole state does this procedure, oh! but it's in our city!! It's like a sign or something. 2) Acouchi will be radioactive-cat for two weeks afterward, so she has to stay at the clinic for two weeks. Not fun, and she'll probably never speak to me again, but better than her being dead.

I called the clinic to schedule the treatment. What did I find out? Acouchi will still be radioactive for twenty-eight days AFTER she comes home. Her poop will also be radioactive, and it is illegal to flush radioactive materials down the toilet. In other words: It's great that your cat is trained, now un-train her. NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

"Oh, and she can't be around pregnant women and children under twelve." WHAT?!!! I am pregnant.

Great. Just great. And now Drek is all concerned about Nine and the risks and such. And now we have to consult the oncology unit and the OBGYN to figure out what the risks are and if we can still do FRIT, or risk Acouchi's life and do the surgery. This is me, VERY not happy. I'll move out for twenty-eight days if I have to.

What are we afraid of? The baby being born a mutant? Because that would be freaking awesome. It would be like Jack-Jack from The Incredibles, or maybe it would grow up to be Storm!! Or Gambit!!! OH! We could name him Remy!!!!! Or maybe Marie. (a)

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