Friday, February 05, 2010

But We're Not Trying to Find North, Are We?

If I ever catch the person who stole Karen (My GPS unit) THE DAY before I moved to a new city in a new state, I will seriously consider throwing all esteems of pacifism aside and stab that guy in the eye with a fork. Or maybe just turn him in to the police. It depends on my mood, and if there is a fork handy.

I can't find ANYTHING. I am constantly getting lost. This is no small feat in a tiny town built on a grid system. Alas, my inner compass does not point north. That is because I do not have an inner compass. With no mountains to guide me, I really have no idea which direction I am driving. I find myself saying things like "The grocery store is on the same road as the bank and is just around the corner from the post office...where was that? Do I go straight or turn?

Today I drove along a road I thought would take me to my landlord's place. It did not. It took me to the freeway. So I got on the freeway, knowing that the landlord's place was right off of the next exit. I drive five minutes on the freeway and take the next exit. I am definitely in the right place, so I turn left, then left again. CURSES! That puts me on the on ramp going back the direction I just came from. So I drive five minutes on the freeway, take the next exit, get on the freeway again, take the next again, take a left, pass the on ramp and then turn left, only to discover it's the wrong street and I should have turned right off of the exit.

Karen, I miss you so much. I hope your new owner appreciates your precise directions, your beautiful colored maps and your whimsical Australian accent.

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