What a Plan. Simple, Yet Insane

Seldom have I encountered a situation with less solutions than the situations that parenting brings everyday. No...that's not quite right. Seldom have I encountered a situation with more solutions than the situations that parenting brings everyday. That's the frustrating thing: There are too many solutions to each tiny little problem.

Example:

Problem: Toddler will not eat carrots.

Solution: Just cook them with brown sugar and butter and they will gobble them right up!

Solution: A toddler's taste buds need to adapt to new food; keep giving her plain, raw carrots until her taste buds adapt and she will love them! Adding butter and brown sugar will only make her always HAVE to have brown sugar and butter.

Solution: She's not ready for carrots. Try again in a few weeks. Until then, don't give her any carrots so the novelty will make the appealing.

Solution: If she doesn't eat them for lunch, offer them to her as a snack, and then for dinner, and then as breakfast, until she's eaten her carrots.

Solution: It's because she's been psychologically traumatized by carrots. Don't offer her any carrots of any form ever, she'll learn to accept them when she's ready; on her own terms.

Solution: You're vegetarian? Not eating carrots is her way of rebelling against you. Think of it as her pre-teen rebellion. Give her a thick slab of red meat. That will dissolve the issue so she can eat carrots without betraying her cause.

Solution: She's asserting her power. Give her a choice between carrots and peas. If she chooses peas, don't make her eat carrots.

Solution: Carrots aren't in season right now, she doesn't like them because it goes against her internal clock. You shouldn't be offering non-season vegetables to her.

Solution: You're the parent. She's the child. She needs to listen when you tell her to eat her carrots. FORCE HER.

Solution: She has some sort of allergy to carrots. She feels bad when she eats them, so she's learned not to eat them. You should trust her.

Solution: Have her eat one bite for every year she is old.

Solution: Forcing children to eat food, even one bite, gives them eating disorders. Never push food on children.

Solution: If you eat your carrots, your child will eat her carrots.

Solution: You never gave her raw carrots as an infant because she didn't have teeth. She sees you eating carrots and assumes carrots are adult food. If you stop eating them, she will start eating them.

Solution: It's because she has anxiety at the dinner table. Are there problems at home?

Solution: You should read books and watch movies about eating carrots! Monkey see, monkey do!

Solution: She's not getting enough sleep and night and is too exhausted to chew raw carrots. You need to adjust her sleep schedule so she has energy to eat.

Solution: It's because you are a bad parent. If you were a better parent, she would be a better toddler. Obviously.

And even if I pick a solution, and she does start eating carrots, I don't know if I picked the right one, if it was just a phase and she would have done it on her own, or if I made the wrong choice and have now damaged her beyond repair.

It's just so frustrating! Why isn't there one simple answer? Why isn't there a "how to raise your child step-by-step" with pictographs? Why can't my toddler tell me the reason she isn't eating carrots so I can make an informed decision? Why is it that the more information I gather the harder parenting becomes?