I Won't Talk! I Won't Say a Word!

I love the Oscars. It's a fantastic excuse to get dressed up and eat great food and get together with people who also like to get dressed up and eat good food and pretend that movie awards are important.

I run into the same problem every year: It's not just that I haven't seen most of the nominated movies, it's that I can't see them because they are rated R (and it's against my personal standards to watch rated R movies). This year I ran into that problem compounded with another problem: ever since Ash was born, I just don't go to the movies. It might also have something to do with the fact that I no longer live next to a dollar theater.  In any case, out of the nine film nominated for best picture, I had seen one. Out of every single movie that was up for any kind of Oscar, I had seen four: two of which were Rango and Kung Fu Panda 2. But I have read the books The Help and Hugo

But, as with every year, I wasn't going to let that stop me! I watched the trailers for all the movies! I even looked up the trailers for the documentaries so I wouldn't be guessing blindly in that category this year.

Jenny and I planned a party, sent out an evite, and filled out our Oscar ballots. We even made food to represent each movie nominated for best picture:

Broccoli:

The Tree of Life

Fresh Strawberry and whipped cream Fruit Fool:

War Horse

Jelly-filled shortbread cookies:

The Artist

Apple cranberry crepes with cream cheese filling and fresh whipped cream on top:

 Midnight in Paris

Fresh sliced pineapple and mango:

 The Descendants

Mini hot dogs 

Moneyball

We also had chocolate cream pie for The Help, New York Style mini-pizzas for Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, French Bread with jam and Brie for Hugo and, as an extra omage to the movie that would win "Best Animated Film," water for Rango

I Don't Know. Maybe Just for Once, I'd Like to Go to a Movie Where I Don't Get Seasick

Before the cruise, I hadn't spent much time on a boat. Sure, I'd been on a canoe, and we own a kayak so I have done that. I've been on a motor boat once or twice when I was little, but not for very long and I don't remember much.

I was a little anxious about seasickness so I took some ginger gum with me on the cruise despite assurances that "cruise boats are so big you can hardly tell you're on the water."

The above assurances are one hundred percent false. From the time we left dock, nothing was more apparent than the fact that I wasn't on stable ground. I could feel the waves.The movement was big enough to make you grab on to something, to stumble as you walked and to get tinges of nausea every now and then. I was so glad I brought my ginger gum. I did adjust quickly, however, once I realized that everything was normal, the waves weren't bigger that usual and we weren't going to capsize. I actually really liked the feeling. It was like being on a mild roller coaster all the time or trying to walk on a moving school bus, all things I love.

As surprising as that was, the real surprise came the moment we got off the boat at the end of the cruise.

"Are we on a dock?" I asked aloud, wondering why the ground was still rolling underneath me. We were not. But for the next forty eight hours it sure felt like it. Not only that, but I was very dizzy, I had a terrible headache and I was very nauseousness. Apparently my sea legs had adapted quickly to the boat, but my land legs could not adjust to the shore.

Up to a week later, I still dreamed I was on the boat being rocked so sleep by the waves. It took a few minutes after I woke up for that movement to vanish.

My conclusion is thus: It's the sea calling to me. My home is meant to be a boat. Now I only have to convince Drek...

I just got a call from our ward's Sunday School president. He asked me to switch the class I teach. Guess which class I'm teaching now...

I Don't Know About You, but I intend to Write a Strongly Worded Letter to the White Star Line About All of This

Last January Drek and I switched to the cash and envelope system of budgeting. My incentive for sticking to our budget was that every time I went under, the extra money was put into our cruise fund envelope/savings account.

Well, it worked. I did a fabulous (If I say so myself) job of sticking to the budget and I saved us up enough money to go on a cruise! Actually, to my delight, cruises aren't actually that expensive. It's the airfare to get you there and the alcohol on the cruise that really adds up. Luckily, I was saved from both those pesky expenses so  Drek and I booked a five day cruise over Valentine's Day.

We had a fantastic time. I have hundreds of pictures and dozens of stories but they can all be summed up by saying it was great. We spent Valentine's Day on Lover's Beach, I got to go snorkeling, we played a lot of games and ate a lot of food. Drek drove a motor boat, I got stung by a jellyfish and we're both happy to be home again.

Now I can save up for our next adventure.

I did want to add a few tips for those who are planning to go on a cruise, and for the next cruise I go on:

Tip one: Bring a water bottle. No, really. They cost $3.75 on the ship and you have to tip the person selling it to you. You can try to just drink water at mealtimes, like I did the firt few days, but thy can't give you water with no ice, the cups are tiny and with all that food you should be drinking A LOT of water.

Tip two: Bring a comfy jacket. Yes, it's nice and warm on the equator, but there are plenty of cold winds on the ocean.

Tip three: Bring a small backpack. Pack your suitcase/duffelbag, then pack a small backpack with a book, your waterbottle, and a deck of cards. Check your bags but keep your backpack. Even if you hate checking bags on airplanes, cruise ships are different. Check your bags, it will be okay. Also, take your backpack with your waterbottle on any shore excursions.

Technology. That's always Been Your Achilles Heel in this Part of the World

I was talking on the phone with an older gentlemen. He needed to send me a document so I spelled out my email address:

Me: "E-M-A-I-L at gmail dot com."

Him: "E-M-A-I-L-X?" 

Me: "No, E-M-A-I-L at gmail..." 

Him interrupting me: "L at?" 

Me: "Yes. At."

Him (No response)

Me: As in, the at symbol." 

Him: (Pausing) "...the what symbol?" 

Later, he said he would attach a document to an email. When I got the email it said: Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to attach the document. Can I fax it to you? But he had, actually, attached the file. 

A few days ago my neighbor asked me what a browser was. I was taken completely aback. 

"You mean you don't know? I thought everyone knew. It's imprinted knowledge human babies are born with, like holding their breath underwater."

I've been so amused by the whole ordeal. I find it so odd to realize that such terms haven't really been around that long. 

It's About to Get Very Cold in Here

Happy Day After Ground Hog Day! So, the groundhog saw it's shadow and we will be having six more weeks of the winter. Does it make that much of a difference if you live here in Sunland, where you only know it's winter when you are indoors and when you are outside you think it's a perfect day in June?

Here in Sunland I've noticed the houses here are built to stay cool, have terrible insulation and most people hate paying any sort of heating bill in the winter. All this adds up to a simple fact: in the wintertime, Sunlandians put on their jackets while they are indoors and take them off when they go outside. 

Today it is fifty eight degrees inside our house and seventy degrees outside. Today during Ash's nap I took off my hoodie, blanket and wool socks and went outside to read in the sun, where I was perfectly comfortable in shorts, a short sleeve shirt and bare feet. 

I'm not thrilled about six more weeks of cold indoors, but if I get ever get too cold, I can always go outside. 

There Was a Complication When We Cured the Industrial Disease. The Vaccine had an Unintended Side Effect: Sterility. Only One More Generation of our Species Could Survive

I wish I had videotaped Ash last night. Especially the dance. Oh, the dance. Alas, I did not, so I'll attempt to describe it.

Drek and I took Ash into the doctor yesterday to get her first ever vaccinations. I waited until my child turned two before giving her vaccinations because, obviously, I've been worried that she will have an adverse reaction to them.

She got her shots around three in the afternoon. By six, I was wondering if I was seeing a reaction:

(Ash is sitting on my stomach. She bounces hard, then hits me in the face)
Me: Ow! Don't hit mommy!
Ash: (laughing) Sorry, mommy.  (She bounces again and hits me in the face)
Me: Ow! Ash!
Ash: (laughing) Sorry, mommy. (She hits me again)  Sorry, mommy.
I grab her hand as she goes to hit me again and lift her off my stomach. She runs over to her bed, laughing and doing a crazy-dance, then gets up on her bed and starts jumping.
Ash: One two fwee fow five six seven eight nine ten yeven twelve firteen firteen firteen firteen...
Drek: Did you get stuck on thirteen?
Ash: (Still jumping) FIVE! five five five five five five. (Now she starts doing hand motions and bobbing her head side to side as she jumps) Open and shut them open and shut them open and shut them open and shut them.
Me: Wow, okay, I think it's time for bed.
Ash: NO BED! DANCE! No mommy bed! Yes mommy bed, mommy sweep. Yes, no, yes mommy sweep.  Ash DANCE! (she jumps off the bed onto the floor and does the CRAZIEST dance I have ever seen. And she just keeps going.)  A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P M N P M N O P M N O P. (I stand up and walk toward her)
Ash: (all in one breath) NO! No sweep. No! Yes no yes no. Yes mommy bed. Yes mommy bed, mommy sweep. Yes no yes mommy sweep. Finger hurt! Daddy, finger hurt! Bandaid! Mommy sweep, daddy bandaid finger.

She finally fell asleep and hour passed her normal bedtime, leaving me with the question: "What the heck was that?!"

I Couldn't be Fonder of My Big Home. The Bees are Buzzin' in the Tree to Make Some Honey Just for Me

Okay, guys, here we go. I'm holding my breathe and diving in to a new and adventure-filled apiary hobby.

Yeah, I'm getting honey bees.

The hives and equipment arrived a few days ago: we unpacked them today. We'll order the actual bees this week, although they won't arrive until April or May.

I'm reading books, blogs and websites. I've joined the local beekeeping society and I've sunk quite a bit of money into this new pursuit. I'm very excited.

I'm doing this jointly with Anna. Basically she's the brains behind the operation and I just provide the land. I want the bees to amp up my tree's fruit production. Honey is a nice bonus. Actually, truth be told, I'm not really a fan of honey. I like it for cooking, but I find peanut butter and honey sandwiches to be less than appealing. Drek, on the other hand, is a huge fan of honey, so I guess it will even out.

But the real point of getting bees is the bees. I'm so excited to welcome those girls into their new home!

Did He Say Limo? Wait a Second, I'm His Translator. Hold Up!

Remember how I used to have a big party every month? I miss that. I need to plan more parties for the upcoming months...

Last January I started planning a surprise birthday party for my wonderful Sister-in-law, Anna. I didn't know exactly what we would do, but I did want it to involve formal dresses, a limo, and a surprise.  I told my friend, Jen,  and we both were pretty excited about the idea.  Last month Jen and I nailed down a few more details and then I emailed a few other friends for input. It didn't take long for a great plan to form: We would dress up in formal and semi-formal dresses, rent a limo and drive over to Anna's house where her husband would somehow have gotten her all dressed up in a formal. We would surprise her and kidnap her and eat birthday cake in the limo while we drove to a very fancy restaurant to eat dinner. That was the plan, anyway. 

After I talked to Anna's husband, the plan fell apart pretty quickly; he was leaving on a business trip on her birthday, so he would be unable to get her dressed up and he wouldn't be there to watch the kids while she was kidnapped. 

After a flurry of emails of working out everyone's schedules (no easy feat) we finally decided to just do it without the help of the husband. We allotted thirty extra minutes to a surprise make-over  and thought that was a better idea anyway. 

And so, a week before her birthday, the plans were cemented. The limo was reserved, the reservations for the restaurant was made, and the dresses were picked out. 

Things went quite perfectly. To be honest, I was expecting a few problems. In that regard I was very pleasantly surprised.  The limo showed up exactly on time and to my surprise it wasn't just a limo, but a beautiful white stretch limo. It was way more fancy than I had expected!  We rode it over to Anna's house where we met the guest who had made the birthday cake. Again, I was surprised by the lack of problems: She was on time, the cake was absolutely amazing, (and later I discovered it was delicious) and for ease of eating in a limo, she had made five little individual cakes and put them each on their own little plate with their own fork and carried them all on a tray. It was brilliant! 

It was time for the birthday girl! We rang the doorbell and even got the whole "Surprise; Happy Birthday!" yelling and the surprise reaction on film. We bustled in and did the make-over while Drek finished preparing dinner for the kids and volunteered to stay and watch them while we went out. 

When the birthday girl was ready we went outside and surprised her with the limo. The last guest arrived and we all we got in to the limo and ate the amazing cake. We went to the restaurant and got one of the best waiters I have ever had. After a wonderful dinner he brought Anna a Creme Brulee with a lit candle in it, on the house, with enough spoons for everyone. 

We took pictures in front of the limo and then went back to Anna's house. We arrived exactly on schedule. It was amazing. 

So that party went well. I'm excited to start planning the next one! Happy Birthday, Anna!

Okay, Rule Number One Out Here: Always... No, Never Go Out in a Blizzard

I'm visiting Homeland for a few days. Mei-mei is getting ready to go on her mission and I wanted to be with her when she went to the Temple for the first time.

Saturday night was the big event. I left Ash with her grandparents and drove down the mountain to the Temple. Usually it's about a five minute drive, but I happened to be driving through a snow storm, and sliding down most of the hills, so it took about fifteen minutes.

But I still made it on time. It was wonderful to be there with both my sisters and my parents. Our whole original family, together in the temple! It was very nice.

And then it ended and I had to drive back up  the mountain. The snowstorm had only gotten worse and of course now it was dark and the roads were slush and ice. That drive is probably the most terrifying drive of my life. My tires were spinning about sixty miles and hour, but  I was only going about fifteen miles and hour, if that. But I was going forward, which was good. I was terrified of sliding backwards down those steep hills. And I did mostly stay in my lane, although there were a few times when I was driving in the middle of the road.

Finally I was only one turn away. I turned from a semi-busy road onto an all-white road. I could see my in-laws house four houses away. I turned, and just kept turning. The road was sheer ice. I gently glided into the curb, then put the car into reverse to try again. Alas, I was stuck. Just then the snow plow drove by, clearing the road. If only he had driven by one minute earlier.

So I called my wonderful mother-in-law, who sent out the boys, and girls, and the girl's dates. They got me unstuck and in front of the house, and then my mother-in-law pulled some pretty impressive NASCAR stunts to get the car into the driveway.

A few minutes later we were drinking hot chocolate and eating popcorn. It ended well, but I am so ready to get back to driving  Astro on the warm roads of Sunland.

That's a Post Holer. You Dig holes. For Posts

In fixing up our yard, we've planted twelve trees in nine months; Last week we planted a Macadamia tree to add to the collection of new trees on our property.

I use the term "we" lightly. I've picked out most of the trees, but I've only dug the hole and planted two.  Drek's the one that's dug most of the holes and done the hard labor. Drek planted this last tree. He did it while I was away from the house. When I got back I looked at the new tree in our yard. I also noticed that he had tended to all twelve of our trees and there was a bag of fertilizer next to one.

"What did you put around all threes?" I asked him.
"Huh?"
"That stuff around all the trees. It looks like straw. What is it?"
"It's straw."
"Ah. That makes sense."

I hope this coming year we'll be able to eat a few freshly-picked fruit and macadamia nuts!

Live Every Week Like It's Shark Week

During the break between Christmas and New Years, Drek's family came to visit and we all went to the beach. It was a perfect beach day; the sky was blue, the sun was shining the temperatures hovered around 76, and the beach wasn't crowded at all.

I sat on the beach by the towels while Drek did a little bit of boogie boarding. I was trying to get a good picture of him, and it was then that I noticed something beside him.

I couldn't tell right away what it was. I thought it might be a really big fish. I saw it's long beautiful body swimming right next to Drek with a fin coming above the water for just an instant.

I was so excited, I jumped up with the camera to get a closer shot. In my excitement I tried to describe what I was seeing, In my mind, I thought "Sea animal." the but the word that came our of my mouth was "Shark!"

Here's a little tip for you beach goers: It's not really the best idea to yell "Shark!" on a beach while there are several swimmers, boogieboarders and surfers in the water, and a crowd of people on the sand next to you. Jumping up all of a sudden and frantically snapping pictures with your camera after yelling "Shark!" instead of explaining what you are seeing, isn't really a good idea either. Especially if you are excitedly yelling things like "Right next to Drek! It's like a foot away! It's so close, it's close enough to bite him!"

It was not a shark, but a sea lion. I saw that almost right away, but it took several minutes for everyone else on the beach to realize that. Oops.

That Station Wagon of Yours Doesn't Exactly Look Like a Sailing Ship. It's a Rocket Ship. My Mistake

We got a new car. It's a salvaged car, just like Jasmine was. Actually, it was rebuilt by the same guy that built Jasmine. 

It's a Saturn, it has a sunroof, the console is super fancy and the engine is whisper quiet. The doors open in opposite directions and there are only two seats in the back. For those reasons, this car is my spaceship. I named him Astro: 

If Anyone Gets Nosy, Just, You Know... Shoot 'em. Shoot 'em? Politely

Today was the first Sunday School class of 2012. I'm not teaching the same class. This time I'm teaching thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and sixteen year olds. I have nine kids in my class; five of them were in my class. As far as I can tell, there is no logical explanation for how the Sunday school classes are divided up. Officially, I am teaching the fourteen/fifteen year old Sunday school class, but that's two children, so they added the older class, and three kids from the younger class.

You may think that they took those three random kids out of my old class because my old class was so huge (fourteen teenagers) and no one wants to teach a class that big, but you would be wrong. For reasons I cannot fathom, they took five kids out of my old class and moved them up, and then they combined that class with the younger class, making that class include twenty kids ages eleven to fourteen.

TWENTY. And I thought fourteen was out of control. I am so glad I am not teaching that class.

You Know, I Was Born in the Wrong Millennium

It's been a week and a day since our car accident on the freeway. The insurance called yesterday to let us know that Jasmine is, officially, totaled. Repairs were estimated at over six thousand dollars. I told them  six thousand dollars worth of repairs was well worth it for that little car, but they said no. They said they would give me a check for a thousand dollars instead.

Sadly, I can't buy a used car for a thousand dollars.

I'm so confused by this...why do we have insurance again? Isn't is so they will pay for things in the case of an accident? Um, hello, I was in an accident, why aren't they paying to fix my car or to get me a new one? What was the point? Instead of paying for insurance every month I could have put it in a savings account. After five years that money would be more than enough to buy me a new used car.  To top it off, they said now that they have offered us the money (but we won't get the check for two to three weeks) they will stop paying for a rental car. So, we need to buy another car like, now.

I've tried to convince Drek that this is the perfect opportunity to ditch the car altogether. We can ride the bus! We can bike! We can just stay home! But since the buses here don't really go a lot of places and biking isn't really feasible with the long distances and the hills, he said no. I tried to sweeten the deal by telling him we'd buy him a motorcycle, so he could still get around. But that still leaves us with no way to get to church on Sundays, so he still said no.

So I've spent all day today trying to get us a car loan. I'm so irritated by the whole thing. I don't want a car, but I have to buy one. I don't have money to buy a car, so I have to borrow the money. And then I'll still have to pay for insurance on that car that I didn't want.

It's days like this when I truly wonder if I wasn't born in the wrong millennium.

The Truth Is... I am a Member of a Joint NSA CIA Black Ops Team that is Stationed Here in Burbank. I Have a Level 6 Clearance and My Code Name is Charles Carmichael. I'm a Spy, Buddy

Is there anyone, in the entire United States, that lives somewhere where only mail addressed to them is delivered?  It seems like everywhere I have lived, more mail is delivered addressed to non current residents than mail addressed to actual current residents of the house.

This house is no exception. We get a lot of mail for other people. I've gone through all the standard channels: marking it and putting it back into the mailbox, actually calling the post office, but the mail keeps coming.

Today UPS delivered a package for a Steve Smith to our door. I found it so odd: I can see USPS mail coming to us but a hand-delivered package to our doorstep marked "Time Sensitive Material?" This wasn't someone forgetting to change an address in some database, this was was someone ordering something off the internet and specifically shipping it to my house.

Right under the name was a phone number to reach Steve Smith. I glanced over the package but no where was there a number to call UPS. What was I supposed to do? Leave the package in my mailbox? It wasn't USPS's problem.

I sighed and dialed Steve Smith's number, hoping he would tell me he'd have UPS come back and pick it up. Besides, that way I could ask him why he used my address.

But what would I say? Was the phone number even real? Would he answer? Would his secretary answer? What if his wife answered and he had mistaken my address for his mistress' address and I was about to be caught in the middle of a very messy ordeal?

I decided I would act very business-like and ask for a Mr. Steve Smith. I would inform them that I was in possession of a package and ask the best way to return it to him. That sounded good. I dialed the number.

The phone rang a few times and then a familiar voice picked up the phone. "Hello, my love." It said.

I paused.

"Drek?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this your phone number?"

"This is my google number."

"Oh. Uh... do you know why we just got a package from UPS to a Mr. Steve Smith?"

"Yes. That's a name I use online sometimes for odd websites."

"Oh. Well, you package arrived."

"Great! Thanks!"

"Sure...so, you have an alias and a secret phone number?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Oh....are you a spy?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Huh"

So, case solved. Now if only I could figure out to stop getting credit card offers for Michael Samor, that would be great.

But Behind That Fair Façade I'm Afraid She's Rather Odd

2011 was, in a word: odd.

I went to the beach wearing flip-flops and short sleeves in winter. I bought a house instead of renting and did all the odd things that come with home-ownership.  I came face to face with a cheetah, a wolf, and a panther. I discovered I love blood oranges. I learned how to iron. I swam with leopard sharks and a sea lion. I discovered I love hanging laundry on a clothes line. I found myself in yet another manipulative relationship (how do I get myself into these things?) but actually managed to get myself out. I got chickens. I went scuba-diving. I bought an ocean kayak. I went to a horse polo game. I got beaten up by a goose. I ate several goose eggs. I drove an all-electric car.

Acouchi died. Chicken Juliette died. Jasmine died.

I've had two major life crisis this year. One in May, in which decisions were made that I don't think I will ever get over. It's odd to think that the big "If only" moment of my life happened this year. The second major life crisis happened, well, last week. I'm actually still working through it. I'll let you know how that one turns out.

I know this sounds odd, but I feel like my frontal lobe finished developing this year. Really. I've had a millions and one epiphanies this year. I've come to understand so many things about myself and those around me. I feel like I can finally see the big picture. I really feel like I've made tremendous progress this year. 

I didn't complete all my 2011 New Year's resolutions. I didn't published a novel and sell more copies than the seventh Harry Potter book. I didn't save the CEO of a major international airline from a burning car and get a golden tickets to fly anywhere in the wold. But I did win NaNoWrimo. I did make some new and wonderful friends. I did buy a house, make a clothesline, foster a litter of kittens and travel quite a bit.

I can't decide the word I want to be able to describe 2012. Maybe I just want 2012 to be a surprise. Okay, 2012: surprise me. 

You Have a Good Heart, Kenneth. I Hope You're in a Car Accident so That I Can Have It

Yesterday Drek and I dropped Ash off at a babysitter's house and headed down to the temple with Drek's parents. As is common on Sunland Freeways, the traffic was moving at normal speeds, then stopped, then moving at normal speeds, then stopped. During one of those "stopping" phases, the car in front of us didn't think he could stop in time (I assume) and moved over into the shoulder. Drek saw the cars stopping and so he came to a gradual, gentle stop. The car behind us was not so alert. After a very angry squeal of tires and brakes, we were slammed from behind. Because that car in front of us had moved off to the side, and because Drek had stopped to give him plenty of room to get back on, we didn't hit the car in front of us. It was a simple two-car accident.   

But it was still a nasty accident. Everyone was "fine" (I put it in quotes because most of us had headaches and my neck was on fire yesterday and today I mostly wish I had been decapitated, but no broken bones, no blood, you get the idea...) but both cars were totaled. 

It's the best of a terrible situation: no one was seriously hurt, Ash wasn't in the car, and everyone has good insurance coverage. So hooray. 

And yet, Jasmine is dead. She would have lasted at least two more years. She was such a good car. And now we have to get a new car. If buying Jasmine five years ago taught me anything, it's that I HATE car shopping. Seriously. 

If you ask me what I want, I'll tell you I want an electric car. Or a car that runs on water. But I'm forced to buy a gas powered car. Which is stupid. 

I have no preference as to which gas-powered car we get. They are all gas guzzling, world polluting, money draining, death traps. 

So, anyone have any suggestions? Jasmine was a Saturn, but they don't make Saturns anymore. I grew up with Toyaotas, but I hear there was recent scandal with Toyota brakes? I do have a preference for Fords. Does anyone have a car they love that they can suggest? 

Happy Christmas

We had a party on Christmas Eve Eve; a simple potluck with delicious food and lots of games of stuffed animal dodgeball. We sung some hymns just to make it Christmas-y and called it a night. It was a great party spent in wonderful company.

Christmas Eve was also wonderful; we had a delicious dinner and had a beloved family over for dinner. We opened a few gifts and then Drek Ash and I got in the car to go look at Christmas lights. We came back and put Ash down for bed, then snuggled up for a game of scrabble. We fell asleep around ten, looking forward to Christmas Morning! 

And midnight Ash woke up unable to breathe. She had a terrible cough. Ben got up with her and I looked up Insurance and Emergency Room info. Her breathing wasn't great, but it wasn't quite bad enough for a trip to the ER. We went back to sleep, but she woke up about every thirty minutes. Every time we decided it was bad enough to go the hospital her breathing would get better and she would fall back asleep. And then thirty minutes later she would wake up again. It was a miserable night. Finally, around six, she fell asleep and stayed asleep. So did Drek, but I was up. I made a big Christmas breakfast, cleaned a little bit, watched a Christmas movie, read a Christmas book and then sat around going "now what?" 

I called Ash's on-call doctor. He said it was croup, and it sounded like a mild case. He told me what to watch for and that was that. 

Drek and Ash finally woke up around nine. We had a very low-key Christmas which ended early do Ash could take a nap. 

I did laundry. I talked to my family. That was about it. 

Ash is doing much better now. She'll still bark every once in a while, but she's sleeping at night and she's no longer contagious. 

And there's always next year. 

You are Hereby Called to Serve as a Missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are Assigned to Labor in the Boston, Massachusetts Mission

Two days ago I was setting up a portable heater in our house (It gets very cold at night and not only do we  not know if our furnace works, but we're not sure we want to find out) when it bounced back and hit be in the face. My tooth went through my lip. That was the extent of the damage; a swollen, bloody, cut lip.

Until four in the morning, when I woke up with some severe nausea. I spent the next twenty four hours with  flu symptoms; freezing to death while running a high fever, muscle cramps, not being able to move...

Drek stayed home from work to take care of me and our little one. He is so great. He read a book to me. In the book was a women with polio who had spent the last thirty years inside an iron lung. She had contracted polio at seven months pregnant and actually gave birth inside the iron lung. Amazing, no?

Anyway, instead of being inspiring as was intended, it scared me to death. "Drek!" I moaned. "What if I have Polio? What if I have to spend the rest of my life inside an iron lung?"

He wasn't very sympathetic to my wild ideas. "How in the world would you have gotten polio?"

"From the heater! My tooth! My cut lip! I must have contracted the virus on the plane coming back from Hometown, harmless enough, until my tooth cut my lip, giving the virus direct access to my bloodstream! It just happened to be the one single virus that bypasses my polio vaccine! I'm dying!"

But, this morning I woke up just fine. My fever had broke and after easing my tummy back on to solid foods, I'm feeling great.

I was finally able to call my sister, Mei-Mei, and tell her congratulations on her mission call! She got it yesterday and opened it while I was on Skype, but I wasn't very responsive because I was dying of not-polio.

So, Congratulations, Mei-mei! We are so excited for you!