Monday, June 04, 2007

How to Entertain Yourself in a Hospital Emergency Room

1- Read boring magazines
2- Update blog using Drek's laptop and the hospital free wireless
3- Send Drek out to the car to grab "Pirates Dice" (thanks again Xirax!)
4- Explain to passing hospital workers that this IS the game from Pirates II, not Pirate Yahtzee. Pirates DO NOT play Yahtzee
5- Blow up plastic gloves
6- Bat the blown up plastic glove between two people.
7- Pay a full on version of Calvin Ball using the blown up plastic glove.
8- Draw a face on the Blown up plastic glove
9- On the other side of the blown up plastic glove, write "release me". attach the blown up plastic glove to a 16 inch Q-tip and wave it out into the hallway.
10- Form a line where the back person is on a rolly chair and the front person in a wheel chair and roll around the room (and the hallway).
11- Upon discovering that the wheelchair handles are removable, write an S.O.S. note and stuff it inside the wheelchair handle.
13- Switch rapidly between laughing hysterically and almost having a panic attack because you've been in this room for so freaking long!
14- Recruit the janitor (who happens to be an old friend) into talking the nurses into releasing you
15- Become more daring in wheeling aforementioned line out into hallway and waving the aforementioned "release me" blown up plastic glove.
16- Discuss ways to stage a break out
17- Announce loudly that you are going to stage a break out
18- Stage a break out.

After 4 hours, it was determined that my foot is not broken, but "you were assessed in a triage situation so please contact your primary care physician"



  1. Ha! You got that blowing up a plastic glove idea from me and our hospital exploits! ha!

    I am glad you are still in one piece.

  2. Also, How To Ship A Puppy:

    Very. Carefully.


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