I got beaten up by a goose. No, really. A goose. A gander. An African fowl. It's true.
My awesome neighbor owned three geese. He is, sadly, moving, so he needed to sell his geese. When a guy came to buy them, my neighbor asked if I would catch the geese and put them in the boxes the buyer had brought so they could move to their new home. Of course I said yes. Who would turn down the opportunity to wrangle some geese?
And wrangle I did. I went after the male first. I cornered him fairly easily and grabbed him by the neck (the only advice I got from my neighbor). I then tried to pick him up in a sort of modified football hold, but in doing so he kicked my with his webbed foot. You wouldn't think a webbed foot would do much damage, but take it from me; don't underestimate the webbed foot. I did finally get him in the box and the two female geese were quicker, but once I caught them they were easy to put in their boxes. The buyer took them home, happy to have a birthday present for his daughter and my neighbor was thrilled to have the geese go to a good home. I'm thrilled to have them gone. Yes, I will miss the goose eggs (delicious and huge!) but it's nice to be able to carry on a conversation in the backyard. It's so much more peaceful now!
At first I had three giant claw marks on my arm from where the goose scratched me. The next day, I had three huge black and purple bruises appear, each surrounding the three scrapes. After a few days, the bruises turned yellow. They are finally vanishing, and the scrapes have healed, but for a while there it looked like I had been attacked by a tiger.
So next time you get in a fight with a goose, remember the thing to fear is not the beak, but the dreaded webbed foot.