Sunday, August 12, 2012

An Armed Guard, Here. A Little Rent-a-Cop with a Nine Millimeter on His Hip

I do not like dealing with security guards that stand outside of smaller airports and enforce the "no waiting!" policy of the loading/unloading zone. I understand the "no waiting" policy. I don't understand ego maniac security guards who treat the curb like Fort Knox. My first bad experience was at a teeny tiny airport. It is so tiny, the arrival gate is about ten feet from the closely-guarded "no waiting!" curb. I waited in the short term parking until the plane landed, then maneuvered the car next to the curb. I was too quick. I could not  see Drek coming off the tiny plane, and the security guard knew it. He came up and angrily tapped on my window. "Can't you read the sign? No waiting! Get out of here! This is a small airport! Make room for people who don't have to wait!" Which, was actually funny, because I was the only car in the entire airport. There was no one to make room for. 

The next time was at a much busier airport. The guard was so much meaner, and it was a much more terrifying situation, in which I ended up circling the airport seven times, because the people I was trying to pick up were not waiting on the curb, but on the bench back away form the curb, and I could see them, but they couldn't see me, and every time I tried to get their attention the guard (who had singled me out, and looked for my car) would yell and shout and chase me off. Terrifying. 

But sometimes those guards are not crazy ego maniacs. Sometimes they are just security guards, trying to make sure everything runs smoothly. When Drek left on his adventure, he drove us down to the airport, parked on the curb, and then unpacked all his stuff from the car. I got out, we hugged and said good-bye, and then he went into the airport. I got in the driver's seat, turned on my GPS, put on my seat belt and ...realized Drek had taken my keys with him. Oh no! 

I jumped out if the car and ran to the nearest security guard, who was laughing and chatting with another security guard. 
"Excuse me, I have a small problem. I just dropped my husband off, but he took my keys with him. I need them back, but I can't move the car without the keys..." I pointed to my car. 
He smiled, nodded, and said "Hurry. We'll keep and eye on your car." 
I ran inside, found Drek right away, stole another kiss as well as my keys and headed back to my car, thanking the security guard on my way out. 

This morning I packed Ash in the drove to the airport. Last night I had a few nightmare about terrible security guards becoming drunk with power and turning into tyrannical monsters, reigning over their curb with blood and bullets, and decided not to risk it. I paid for parking and went inside the airport to wait at the bottom of the escalator for Drek.

I spotted Drek before he stepped on the escalator, but Drek was looking past us, out the windows and onto the street, looking for our car. Once he got to the bottom we were two feet in front of him. He glanced right at us and didn't see us. He actually had to step around Ash and still didn't realize we were there until I called his name. By that time I was laughing too hard to give him the proper welcome I had envisioned for the last nine days. 

In any case, welcome home, Drek! We are so glad you are back!


  1. Good post, thanks.

  2. I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience with security guards. The worst I ever had was when I got pulled out of line at the airport and had my bag searched, but it turned out to be my fault: I had left a bike repair kit in my bag and it looked like a pocket knife. I hadn't meant to bring it with me on the trip, but it was so precious to me that I persuaded the guard to let me keep it (it didn't have any knives in it, so yay).

    I've never had a guard be a jerk when I was trying to pull up or park somewhere. That sounds horrible.

  3. This is what happens when you give power to the little goes to their heads. I have the same issues with flight attendants. And librarians.


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