I'm The Money. Every Penny Of It.

I went into the credit union closest to our house. I needed to open up an account for my now profitable business. I did not use he bank I am currently with, because it is in another town. I wanted something local. I went in, sat down, waited for the "new accounts" guy, talked to him, filled out paperwork, answered questions, showed ID, blah blah blah.

The guy asked for a beneficiary. I, of course, told him my husband, Drek. I then gave him Drek's information. He did a little more fiddling on the computer and then said; "You know you already have an account here?" I give him a blank look.

"I'm pretty sure I don't have an account here."

"Drek has an account here; he put you on it."

I am puzzled. "Here? Drek has an account here?"

Now he is puzzled. "Yes, and you are on it. It is a joint account." I am searching through my brain trying to figure out what this guy is talking about. Drek has a secret bank account? Why wouldn't he have told me? Do I know about this? Am I supposed to know about this? Why would he have another account?

The banker guy is intimidated by my blank stare. "Well, let me make sure..."

He types a little. "K la. Right?"

"Yes. He better not have anyone else on his secret account." He reads the address. It is my old address. I confirm it. He looks at the screen nervously. He pauses, and looks back at me.

"Did you not know he had an account here?"

"No, I did not. How much is in it?

"Around $*,***" I must looked shocked. He glances back at his computer. "Yeah. K La and Drek Lastname."

And then it clicks.

"Oh. Drek Lastname is not my husband. Drek Lastname is my old boyfriend (I know, I know. What can I say? I have a thing for the name). He did have an account here, he put me on it before he went on his mission. I got married before he got back."

The poor banker guy. He now realizes he has made a huge mistake. He tries to figure out if I am a vengeful ex. He tries to back peddle, realizing he should not have told me the amount in the account.

I am highly amused.

I ask him if I can take myself off the account. He looks relieved. He informs me I cannot, the main person on the account has to. I thank him, finish setting up MY account and leave.

And yes, I did email my old boyfriend. Not that it bothers me that my name is on the account, but I think he should know.