Whodunnit

It is no secret that I am a HUGE fan of ABC's reality show "The Mole." I've seen all five seasons, and watched seasons one and three multiple times.  I can remember most of the games and can tell you who won  and who was the Mole in each season.

I'm such a huge fan, I have run my own "The Mole" games with my own challenges, twists and intrigue. They are awesome, just ask anyone who has played them.

So when I heard ABC was doing a reality show called "Whodunnit" that was a sort of spinoff of "The Mole" I recruited Drek to watch them with me, settled down with some chocolate and watched away. I had the killer pegged in the first episode. The show wasn't as great as the Mole, but, still. It was ok. Until the finale. What in the world? Who wrote that stuff? That was awful! The winner had no idea who the killer was! The whole point of the show was to find the killer! The only reason he won was because he could run faster?

The winner should be the person who knew the identity of the killer. However, when you are down to three, there is a good chance both players will bet on the same person, so speed is also crucial.  The last episode featured a game filled with puzzles and riddles that were very cool, but misused.

Here's what should have happened:

The three players would race to complete the riddles. The last riddle would take them to Giles. When the players told Giles "You are not the killer" Giles would hand them a set of golden hancuffs and say "Then take these to apprehend the real killer."

The players would race back downstairs and use the last puzzle piece to The three players would race to complete the riddles. Once they had all the correct puzzle pieces and their question mark was all lit up, the screen would tell them which room was their next destination, and the key unlocking that room would be given to them. Each player would have their own room. They would run to the room and enter alone. The door opens to a tiny enclosed space, no bigger than a bathroom. The door locks behind them. The far wall would have a single locked door is pained with the "Whodunnit" logo. In the middle of the room is a stand with two buttons. Above the each button is a picture and name of the two suspects.  Kam's room would have Kris and Lindsay, Lindsay's room would have Kam and Kris. The task is simple: Pick the killer, press their button. The winner had to have picked the correct killer first. Meaning, if they both picked the correct killer, the person who got through the riddles fastest would win.  The camera shows the players pressing a button, but it doesn't show which one is pressed. In one room, once the button is pressed, the lights go out. In another room, once the button is pressed, the room fills with a poisonous gas and the person dies.

On the other side of the door is a room in which all the dead players wait with Giles. They see two open graves (because this show loves over-the-top cheesy dramatics). In one is a winner, in one is a loser.  Giles announces that the killer has struck again, that poor ___ is dead, and the latest victim of the killer. They all just watched it happen.  Since all the dead are gathered together, they invite the last victim to join them, and they do. They are met with hugs and condolences and lament that they came so close!

Giles then announces that in one grave is the killer, and in one grave is the winner. The dead players are so excited! Who is the killer? Who is the winner? The viewers at home can't help being caught up in the excitement and anticipation! Giles announces The winner will walk out of their grave. At this point the winner (still not knowing if they have won or not) would have made it to the far door in the dark, and the door would finally unlock, swinging open into the open grave, where they would climb out.  The other players would scream and gasp! There would be shouts of  "I knew it!" and "WHAT?!" The winner would beam and smile and laugh because they had just won! And how wonderful! And they had envisioned this moment!  Giles would give them a hug and congratulate them and say they have just won a quarter of a million dollars!

Finally, the killer would appear and confront the winner. The killer would recite that creepy rhyme and the winner would pull out the golden handcuffs and use them on the killer. Giles would announce that it was at long last time to leave the mansion. Everyone would walk out together and watch and clap as the winner got into the limo and drove away with Giles as the driver. The last shot would be the killer, in handcuffs, surrounded by the players they had murdered.

THAT is a much better finale that the one that actually aired.

So, PLEASE, ABC, for your sake, hire me. I am so available for doing the next season of The Mole and/or spinoff.