I Have Internets!

Finally. I don't even know where to start.

The move went great. Friday night Ismail and Ben and Yelli came over and helped us move some of the bigger stuff into the truck. They were so wonderful to come help us! The next morning everything was ready to go! We actually had a few people from the ward show up (I know, I was shocked too) and Drek's family was wonderful and came. We got it done less than an hour! The truck was loaded, the donuts were consumed and we cleaned a little before saying our goodbyes and leaving.

The drive was actually fine. Acouchi rode with Drek in the Uhaul. Drek said she meowed for the first three hours before her voice left and she couldn't meow anymore. She was not happy. Ash rode with me and woke up about an hour in to the drive. We pulled over and tried to entertain her, change her and give her a bottle, but in the end she just screamed for ten minutes before falling asleep for the rest of the ride. She does not like her car seat. Poor thing.

The fish are still alive. Acouchi likes to drink from their bowl, but doesn't want to eat them. Mmmmm! Fish flavored water! So we packed the fish up in the car and took them along. They didn't make a single peep the whole ride up.

We made it here safely, and in great time. We got here and Curtis had arranged for all the cousins to come help us unload. Mei-mei also brought a few people to help. We unloaded really quickly and Drek and I felt so welcome! It was so wonderful to have support on both ends. People were so wonderful to help us.

Our downstairs neighbors are wonderful. They have four kids, the oldest one being seven, the youngest one being a few months older than Ash. I love them. They love Acouchi. They are letting us borrow their Internet until ours is set-up (scheduled for Feb 4, two weeks AFTER we called them and two days after LOST season six premiers *whine*). I love the mom. She is so very wonderful.

On Saturday we went to bed very tired and Acouchi went to bed very angry. Sunday morning we woke up and Acouchi was in a great mood. She decided she loves the new house and maybe the move wasn't so bad after all. We went to church and the ward was surprisingly friendly. I', not sure if it's the ward or that making friends is easier when you have a kid, but either way, we feel very welcome here. After church we checked Drek's phone (mine is still lost) and discovered three missed calls telling us that Anna was having her baby!! I have a new niece! She is tiny, but doing well. Ash got to see her new cousin and I got to see my new niece through the little window in the hospital. She's still in the NICU so I haven't got to hold her yet, but she is doing well and should be out soon!

So here we are. We have been in our house for a week and one day. The only rooms I can say are officially unpacked are the kitchen and the living room. Upacking is more difficult with a baby. But we are safe, warm, and happy.

What Did the Snowman Say to the Other Snowman?

Drek's dream was to have the moving trucked packed with identical boxes. Each box the same size and shape as every other box. He decided banana boxes were the best way to accomplish this. The problem is that banana boxes come from grocery stores, and they don't break down. This means that the grocery store can't keep banana boxes. As soon as the box is empty, it is thrown out. Also, no one unloads bananas at one time, bananas are unboxed through out the day. It's tricky. So, we would call in the morning and ask them to save as many boxes as they could. We would drive down a few hours later and they were always kind enough to have around nine boxes waiting for us. Sometimes they would have seventeen, sometimes thy would only have three. It didn't take long for the produce workers to anticipate our needs and save the boxes for us without us calling. They would smile when we walked in and go get the stash. We became known as box lady and box man.

The final count is ninety-three banana boxes. And also four non-banana boxes. Of those four, two are plastic tubs, one is a box full of files and one is a special insulated box for china. I think we won the box game.

To answer the title; Desmond finally tells boxman: "Smells like carrots." Other answers are "Freeze!," "Chill," "Ice to see you!," and "We're stuck in a bloody snow globe!"

And I Lost My Phone

Our car was broken into this morning. We are moving tomorrow.

Bring it on.

Fish Are Our Friends, Not Food

Yesterday Krisling and I volunteered at the aquarium for Disney's Give a Day, Get a Day program. We had a blast. The volunteering part was cleaning our paint brushes, folding pamphlets (pamphlets that said what fish you should not eat, which fish are ok, and which fish is fine to eat as far as stopping over-fishing goes. Do YOU know if the fish you are eating will be extinct in three years?) and cut up cardboard for birds. It doesn't sound fun, but it was SO MUCH FUN! Afterwards we got behind-the-scenes tour of the aquarium and then got to wander around the aquarium. Krisling and I pet the stingrays and starfish and got shocked by an electric eel! And the two tickets to Disneyland don't hurt either!

Are You Watching Closely?

I love my wonderful husband so, so much. He is amazing and wonderful.

Drek's family has a low tolerance for self pity. They also have a low tolerance for bad moods. I love this about them. I love this about Drek. He is rarely in a bad mood. Since being married to him, he has really changed my outlook on life and attitude. I feel I am a happier person because of him.

When he was young, if someone in his family was in a bad mood, the children would gather around that person and say "you're a gazelle" over and over again. I know, weird, but his family is always in a good mood, so it must have worked.

My mother gave me a piece of workout equipment. I can use it to run indoors when it is too cold to run outside. It is called a gazelle. Also, keep in mind that I like to make "your mom" and "your face" jokes, along with "you're a insert last word said here" jokes.

Drek and I are discussing our plans for tomorrow. I tell him he needs to move the gazelle. He pauses. "The what?" He asks.
"The gazelle." I answer.
"What's a gazelle?" He asks.
"You're a gazelle!" I laugh hysterically. The set-up was flawless. Drek was not impressed.

I finally rescued Annette from the Mac store. Evil Mac store.
I love having my laptop back. LOVE!

I still can't find my iPhone. Alas, I don't think I can get a new cell phone. I think I will have to live without a cell phone. I'm looking in to skype vs traditional land line. Both can only be used at home.

We are packing up the moving van on Saturday, January 23 from 8-9am. It will take less than an hour if we can get some help.

I hope we can get some help.

I've Lost My Marbles.

I lost my iPhone. Lost it. I have been looking for it for over 24 hours now.

When I told Drek I lost it he sighed and said "One day something will click in your mind and you will stop losing your things. And then what will I do with all of my free time?"

Yeah. No iPhone, no Laptop, and oh-right-moving-in-eleven-days. Grrrrrr.

But Where Will We Live? Hmm, Don't Know Don't Care

Wednesday was a fun day. I played with Ash, cleaned a little, and Val came over to play some games before she leaves forever to Sweden. After playing two games of Dominion, I went upstairs to see if Drek wanted to play a game with us. As I walked into his office and looked up and asked; "Are you ready to go?"
I paused. "Um, go where?"
"To Idaho, we're leaving in fifteen minutes." He answered. Ah yes, now I remember. That's what I was supposed to be doing today; packing. Whoops.
So, of course, I go downstairs and play another game of Dominion. Of course.

Idaho was a lot of fun. We stayed less than twenty-four hours so I didn't really need to do a lot of packing. We went up there so Drek could interview with a CEO of a robotics company. Here are the highlights of the trip;
It was insanely cold.
The Library is six minutes away from the place Drek was interviewing.
The interview only took six minutes.
Drek was offered the job.
Drek accepted the job (without talking to me. Yeesh.)
We are moving in two weeks.

Also, Drek has this vision of a moving truck packed with same size boxes. His dream is to move using only banana boxes. Do you have any idea how hard is to collect hundreds of banana boxes?

I Just Need Something to Receive Email. You'll Need a Top-of-the-Line Machine For That

Poor Annette. The backlight went out on Saturday. It's a small part so I thought it wouldn't cost that much to replace. I took her in to a Mac store on Monday. They told me it was a simple part, but in order to get to it they had to go through the screen. Total cost = $500.

What the what!!? That's half of a new one! Not doing that. So I took my poor Annette away from the store and contemplated switching to a PC (shudder), but of course I would run Linux on it. Of course.

I called Drek and he reminded me that we covered our laptops with insurance. I called the insurance company and sure enough, they will pay for the repair! Well, half of it. The deductible is $250, but they will pay the other $250! Huzzah!

I took Annette back to the Mac store and explained the plan: They needed to fax the insurance company a repair cost estimate form and then call me. They did. I called the insurance and they told me that the cost was approved and to go ahead and repair my poor Annette. I called the store back, but they were closed for the night. On Tuesday I called again, but they weren't open, so I left a message telling them to repair my laptop. Later that day I called back, but it went to voicemail because they were busy. I left another message. Wednesday I called again, they were still busy so I left a message. Thursday, same thing. Friday I called again. They answered! I asked them if they were done fixing Annette "Uh, we were waiting for the go ahead, we haven't even started."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not having a laptop is KILLING ME! I told them to fix it. They said it would be done on Wednesday. ELEVEN DAYS AFTER IT BROKE. Stupid not checking your voicemail. grumble grumble stupid store.

Anyway, My wonderful husband gave me an iphone for Christmas, so I've been using that. It is more difficult to do things on a iphone, and you can't post a blog entry from an iphone. You can post a title, but not an entry. Also, it's difficult to write a novel on a smartphone.

Laptop Broken...Posting From iPhone...That is All

So Come What May

So, here were my 2009 goals. Let's see how many of them I completed, shall we?

Spiritual:
-Write in my gratitude journal everyday, right before I get out of bed in the morning. If I do, I will be grateful for more things!

At the beginning of the year I did great. I did great right up until the time I found out I was pregnant, and all writing stopped. Pregnancy was hard for me. The emotional part really did me in. I stopped writing in my gratitude journal because my emotions were so very intense and so very conflicting.

-Index 1,000 documents. If I do, I get to find and book a trip to Ireland to find my family history.

Hah! I forgot I set that as a goal. Whoops.

Physical:
-Run a Marathon. So, train for a fast 5k, then train for a 10K, then train for a marathon. If I do, I will be really proud of myself.

Yeah. Pregnant.

Mental:
-Work on Spanish everyday. If I do, Drek and I are going to spend May 5th in Mexico, speaking with the locals

I didn't work on it everyday, but I did work on it. Ever since August I've done great working Spanish. Alas, May 5th came with the Swine Flu and dangerous gang violence in Mexico, so Drek and I had no desire to travel.

Financial:
-Have enough money saved for a down payment on a house. If I do, we can put a down payment on a house (some of these rewards are really easy to come up with).

Um...actually I think we did okay on this one. Considering the housing market had continued to plummet, and 2010 is supposed to be when the next housing bubble pops, I suppose that $10 we saved up will be more than enough for a down payment! Actually, we saved quite a bit. It might be a while before we get a house, though, so we'll have to wait and see whether it's enough.


Side notes:
Travel more. You only live once.
I hate the cold. I hate it. Next winter, I will not be here. I am moving even if it kills me, and if it kills me at least I will be warm.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! This is the one I failed. FAILED! Where did I travel to? Well, actually, I went on an awesome spontaneous trip to St. George, and we went to Idaho quite a few times. It's not Egypt, but it is something. But I am, in fact, still here and not dead. I am spending another winter here. It's okay, though. I think can accept this and be positive about it.

2009 was, in some ways, the hardest year of my life. I am very grateful for 2009; For all it taught me and for all it gave me. Here is my very long and personal review;

At this time last year, I was pregnant and didn't even know it. On January 19th, I got my first positive on a pregnancy test. Even though Drek and I had been trying for a baby, I didn't actually think I could make one. Is that weird? I didn't think my body was capable of making a baby. It had never done anything spectacular before so why would it start now? Once I found out my body did, in fact, make a baby, I didn't think believe it could GROW a baby. After all, it didn't even tell me it was pregnant. I felt betrayed that I had to find out from a stick and not from my self. There was no way my body could grow a baby. No self confidence here. Thus, my reaction wasn't positive or negative, it was more of a "meh, I'll believe it when I see it."

The emotional ride kicked in right away. Almost instantly life became a crisis and I lost all ability to handle situations without getting very emotional. I took everything personally and over reacted to everything. This was very hard for me. I could see that I was crazy, but I couldn't do anything to stop it. For the first three months I also couldn't tell anyone why I was crazy, or why I was so very, very sick.

Drek and I started looking for a new apartment right away, a place with a washer and a dryer so I could cloth diaper, a place with room for the baby, and a place with a kitchen that didn't make me throw up every time I walked through it. We found such a place and I proceeded to pack and move the entire house, by myself, while pregnant and also freakishly sick. Kara left. I was also working full time.

I was in a car accident. I was mostly fine, but I began to cramp and bleed a little and I worried that I had hurt the baby. I called my OBGYN who told me there was nothing to be done so early in the pregnancy and I should come in when I was twelve weeks along. I didn't. I never went to that OBGYN.

Also during this time we found I my dad had cancer. Three, cancers, actually, two curable with chemo, and one not curable. My dad went on for treatment, had a terrible and near-fatal reaction and spent a while in the hospital not knowing who I was.

It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I was stressed up to my eyeballs still throwing up everyday. I learned how to trust in God to get me through the day. Drek was wonderful and we made it through. Life continued on.

We settled in to our new home, bought a washer and dryer and started planning the birth of our baby. I also started planning how I would announce my pregnancy. I decided to have a Pie Day Party and announce it there. After much planning, a lot of working around people's schedules and a lot of stress, everyone decided not to come to Pie Day. I shouldn't say everyone, Ismael was still coming, but no family. I was devastated. Because I was pregnant I took it very personally and overreacted. I felt isolated and alone. No one cared I was pregnant, no one was excited for the baby, and no one would be able to help out. Those feelings defined the rest of my pregnancy.

That was in March. Also in March I began to show. You would think strangers are more friendly to pregnant women, but I did not find this to be the case. I found people to be a lot meaner. I got a lot of dirty looks, especially once I was six months pregnant and carrying around my nine month old niece. I got out right glares at that point. It only worsened my feelings of isolation. As a result, I turned to my cat, Acouchi, who has gotten me through the worst times in my life. She always takes care of me.

April came with a lot of improvements. My morning sickness went away, my dad was doing better, Drek got me tickets to see Wicked, Jessi came to visit and I was spending a lot of time with Krisling now that we lived four minutes apart. At the end of April we found out Acouchi had hypothyroidism and thus began a very long and emotion saga that still isn't over.

May started with Rissy leaving for Japan and me deciding that I couldn't succumb to the overwhelming feelings of dependency I was feeling. I made a huge effort to become entirely independent. Who cares if I was pregnant? I could still stay out all night, lay sod, volunteer at the cannery, learn to bake, and still have a career. Once I established in my mind that being pregnant did not, in fact, equal uselessness, a drain on society and a waste of space, I felt much better about the whole thing. The snow had melted, the sun came out, and things were improving.

In June I took Acouchi in for her RIT treatment. She was gone for two weeks. I guess you could call this the breaking point. With my emotions in overdrive and my baby gone I fell into a deep depression. I took on a few projects to pull myself out of it and Drek and I set off for Durango Colorado for a family reunion. I had a good time despite my anxiety and complete lack of self confidence. I was still very shy and apologetic about being pregnant because I still felt that it wouldn't last, that I would miscarry.

We came home and so did Acouchi. She was happy, and getting healthy. My dad finished his chemo. I spent a lot of time with Krisling. Drek and I started a garden. I began to trust my body and believe (and hope) that I would actually have a baby. Everything in my life seemed to be improving, except work, which was getting worse. It got to be so bad that even though I loved my manager, my co-workers, and my job with all my heart, I could not stand the thought of working for/with my boss one more minute. I tried to quit (unsuccessfully) twice before finally making up my mind, calling up my courage, believing in myself enough to start a business and finally giving my notice.

July was wonderful. I gave up shampoo, Drek and I celebrated our two year marriage anniversary, Krisling was helping enter the society of mommies, I was enjoying summer, and best of all, I found out my sister and my sister in law was pregnant. Suddenly, I didn't feel like such an outcast. I had my last day of work (after working two years, the longest I have ever stayed at one job) and officially started my own business.

August was even better. Rissy was back from Japan and we spent a lot of time together before she left on her mission. I was privileged to take care of Drek's nine month old niece for a few weeks and I absolutely fell in love with her. She taught me so much and helped me feel more prepared for parenthood. Another sister-in-law became pregnant, giving my baby the opportunity to have wonderful cousins, just like I do.

September changed my life forever. My business became successful, My dad's two cancers were declared cured, Rissy left on her mission, and I had a baby. Labor was AWESOME. It is the only word I can think off to describe it. I really learned how to trust myself, my body and my instincts. You know what? My body is amazing. God really knew what he was doing. I finally got to meet the tiny person I had been carrying around for nine months. She was and is perfect. I love being her mom. I loved it from day one.

If I thought pregnancy emotions were bad, after-pregnancy emotions are horrendous. My midwife wasn't kidding when she said the third day would be hard. Between that, no sleep, and an inability to feed my new daughter, I broke down and cried. I cried for the first time in years. I cried and cried and cried. Poor Drek. He had to deal with so much. Even so, right away he became an amazing dad on top of being an amazing husband.

After that things were pretty much wonderful. Life continued on. My emotions returned back to the point were I can now handle life. The year ended with a few more trials, but mostly good and wonderful things. I made our Halloween costumes, I won NaNoWriMo, I met my new nephew, Josiah and got to take care of his sister again for a few days. I successfully cooked a dinner for twenty-four people, my sister had a beautiful baby girl and I even got to hold her. I stopped eating fish and bumped my vegetarianism up a level. I potty-trained Acouchi. I ended the year with a fantastic party.

2009 gave me a purpose in life. Because of 2009 I have confidence in myself and, more importantly, I learned how to rely on and trust in God. I am so grateful for everything that happened this last year. I learned and grew so much. I am looking forward to what 2010 has to offer. Here are my goals;

-Speak Fluent Spanish.
A goal three years and counting.

-Run a Marathon.
It doesn't even have to be an official event. If I have to run alongside the freeway with nothing but myself to cheer me on, I will run a marathon.

-Write a Novel, Edit a Novel and Publish a Novel.
I may have finished NaNoWriMo, but I didn't finish my novel. I will finish it, I will edit, and then I will get it published.

I think I will also add write in my gratitude journal everyday and index 1,000 documents. Those were good goals from last year that I know I can do this year.

Happy 2010!

Maybe We Could Get Unstuck in the Present

I have always wanted to attend a New Year's Eve party. A real party, not just family gathered around talking about goals and watching the fireworks on TV. Alas, I was too young to go to the stake New Year's Eve parties, and by the time I was old enough they didn't have them. Ever. Until I was too old.

Most years I hang out with family. I have a good time, but it's never a party, and every year at midnight I feel slightly disappointed. One year I spent midnight in a crappy restaurant with my head bowed, trying not to cry into my drink (it's a very long and complicated story). It was the worst holiday ever. Ever since then, I associate New Year's Eve with Worst Holiday Ever.

This year looked like it wasn't going to be any different. I planned for Drek and I to head to a parent's house and play games, set goals, mingle and leave at 12:01. Nothing fancy. An enjoyable night, but not a great one.

Drek had a different idea. Right after Christmas he started complaining about all the driving we were doing. And he just kept complaining. At the same time, I had lunch with two of my friends. One friend was complaining about how she would spend New Year's Eve at bars with people she didn't like who would yell at her for nursing a beer instead of getting plastered. Wow. That sounds like so much fun. I took the two complaints and got an idea. I would throw a New Year's Eve party! That way people would come to us, we wouldn't drive so Drek would be happy, I would invite my friend so she wouldn't have to drink, and I would have spend New Year's Eve at an actual party! I texted a list of people from my new, awesome iphone and ten minutes later I had a guest list of ten plus people. Huzzah! I went on to invite another friend whom I was afraid would end up at a bar. He texted back immediately saying he would love to come and he was bringing his vegan girlfriend.

So, the next day (New Year's Eve Eve) I planned vegan and vegetarian hor d'ourves and went shopping for the ingredients. In the end, There were only a few vegan treats, but she turned out to be a vegetarian who eats vegan when convenient, so it was ok. On the menu: Seven layer dip, Chips, Chili cheese dip (vegan), Mini burgers (vegan), Apple pie cups, Pumpkin pie, Chocolate mouse (vegan), virgin strawberry and cherry daiquiris and various snack-y items. I didn't want to buy a lot of sparkling cider and I wasn't sure how many people were coming, so I asked everyone to bring a sparkling drink (we had plenty at midnight!). I loved planning and cooking the vegan stuff. I had so much fun. The best was the chocolate moose, which I made everyone try and guess what was in it. Everyone said they like it, there were a lot of guesses, but no one figured out the main ingredient; Avocados! Giggle giggle. So yummy.

Anyway, Ismael was the first to show up. He said he didn't bring a drink, but he had brought a present for me; The two CD's of Glee songs! Before he arrived I had actually been listening to the songs on Hulu, and he had brought me all the songs and I could listen to them from itunes. Hooray!!! The other guests trickled in (except my friend who inspired the party, she still decided to go out to a bar) including Alexis, back from China! Welcome back! Also there was John, whom I haven't since before he left on a mission to Mexico. We played a lot of games (including some very fun rounds of werewolf. I won every round.) until we began the countdown! By that time everyone had a sparkling drink in a fancy glass goblet and everyone was laughing and joking and creating a load ruckus. At midnight I kissed Drek and clinked glasses with everyone and really had a wonderful time. The party continued on and the last guest left about two. It was an awesome party, my favorite New Year's Eve ever.

Happy New Year and Happy New Decade, everyone!