This morning I got quite the haunting e-mail. It's like a ghost from the past when I thought I had left the haunted house. I'm really not sure what to do, or what to think, or how to feel. I suppose I have this blog so I can rant. So this is me, ranting.

This is one thing he wrote:
"I do wonder about you from time to time. It's an odd thing---I sometimes attempt to recall the way your voice sounded, or the exact way your face looked---and I can't."

You know what? I do remember. I remember the inflections he used, the tone of his voice, and the words he would say when we were with his friends, and I remember how different all that was when we were alone. I remember the way he did his hair, the way he walked, his facial expressions . . . I remember how angry he would get. I remember how useless I used to feel. I remember struggling with all my might just to keep from drowning.

The thing is, I'm a different person now. I've changed a lot. I've worked hard to try and be somebody. I've worked hard to show myself that I'm worth something. That I have value. It doesn't matter anymore what he thinks about me, or what anybody thinks about me for that matter.

I'm happy now.

Much Hilarity Ensues

Yesterday was the start of the assassin game. This meant that all of today I was completely paranoid. I was constantly looking around corners and over my shoulder. I told myself that if anyone in the game showed up at work to just stay in the back, lest they were here to shoot me.

Mark (my boss) stayed at work late, so most of my morning was spent joking back and forth and him teasing me mercilessly. Almost immediately after he left I got a phone call for a job interview. The interview was at 1:30. I was scheduled to work until 6:00. I called meimei and asked her to cover me for two hours. She said she would, because she is amazing and so much more generous than I ever was.

Noon. Cue IRS man coming into the bakery. IRS man has come into the bakery everyday since before I started working there. Since the deli opened, he'll come in and get lunch, then come back around three for an eclair. We've has causal conversations before, to where we're on a first-name basis, but yesterday while his sandwich was being made we had an actual conversation during which he asked if I was leaving the bakery because I was getting married. I told him I was not (but Mary seemed to think that too. Where is this rumor coming from?) and realized he was about to ask me out (IRS man is very nice, around 26-29 years old, not married and not my type. Not to mention I am very, very happy with who I am with right now). His sandwich was finished just in time. Anyway, back to today, IRS man came in for his sandwich and I hid in the back. We didn't have eclairs, so I told him while he was paying and leaving, that I would be sure and make some before 3:00. Because that's what my job is.

When Meimei came in at 1:00 I asked her to make eclairs, and she said she would.

At 1:20 I showed up to the interview, had a wonderful talk with the supervisor who then offered me the job on the spot. I accepted, because it really is a great job. My last day at the bakery is Aug 23. My first day at Craft Supplies USA is Aug 24.

I got back to the bakery to discover that meimei had used the wrong filling for the eclairs, which is no big deal. I thanked her and she left.

At 3:00 IRS man came in. I hid in the back.

At 4:30 Russell showed up. We talked for a while and then he left. I blame this exact occurrence on my state of stupidity for what happened next:

I was in the back, I came out to the front to help people. Mary was helping one customer, there was a customer waiting, and I see another person waiting in the corner. I turn to help the customer in line, and realize the person in the corner is _________.
I turn back around, greet him, and go to give him a hug, when I am squirted three times in the stomach.

I am assassinated.

After laughing my head of at my own stupidity, we walk to the bank, walk back, and I bid my killer good-bye, and good luck on his next kill. Before he leaves he gives me an extra water gun. I will use it well next game.

Back in the bakery as I am closing, who should walk in but IRS man!!!! He's staying late at work and wants to buy caffeine. I ring him up and ask if the eclair was ok. He replies it was still good, but he likes the custard better. I apologize and replies with: Tell you what, if you dump that no good boyfriend of yours and go out for ice cream with me I'll forgive you.



. . .




After I regain my composure from laughing so hard I think I'll explode ( no, I wasn't mean, I was very diplomatic. Poor IRS man) Mary starts making fun me and I die laughing all over again.

Next is D and D. I always end up laughing till my sides hurt, but tonight is particualry hillarios because most people in the campaign are aslo playing Assassin. I get five phone calls during the run asking me information on other Assassin players. News of my death has spread quickly apparently. DM threatens if I answer my phone again, I will lose a level. giggle giggle.

After the run everyone becomes paranoid. Bradley sends Todd out to search the perimeter. Todd apparently fails at this because the moment Bradley steps out of the house he is shot. It does not count as a kill because Todd was a whitness. And now the plot thickens.

I arrive home to the news that Ben has just been assassinated. My, we were a busy bunch tonight.


Ah, glee.

This is possibly the best post secret ever.
I have never laughed so hard at a postcard.

Update

As of Saturday, I am no longer going to San Diego.

I'm not sure what I ill do, as my house and my job end in a few weeks, but it looks like I'll stay in Provo.

Huzzah!!

so tired everything is funny

Ever wonder what other people do during the early morning hours?

Kris and did the following:

11:00pm: Kayla tries jumping of the wall to pull a peice of paper of the wall in the hallway. Kris decides to be of assistance and lift Kayla up. Kris and Kayla fall onto the floor, laughing hystericlly. After several more attempt Kayla manages to pull the paper of the wall.

11:10 Kris and Kayla decide to stage an intervention. To Ferdinand!!!!

11:11 Kris and Kayla stop at a stoplight, they are attempting to make a left-hand turn

11:17 Kris has had enough with the never-green light and runs the very red light.

11:18 Kris hits another red light. Kayla laughs at her ensuing road rage.

11:25 Kris and Kayla stage intervention.

12:20am Kris decides Kayla would not make a good Private investigator, as she does not return furtive glances. Kayla is not a glancer.

12:30 Kris and Kayla have following converstaion:

Kris: Your mom
Kayla: Your face
Kris: Your father's face
Kayla: Tu Madre
Kris: Touche

12:45: Kayla's "Real fake hot dog" is asploding. Kayla tries putting "ket-ca-cechsup" on it.

1:00am: Kris and Kayla sit at the kitchen table, working dilligently on their own computers. See? This is why I shouldn't leave Utah.

Questions

I just don't understand.

How can some people not want to be mothers? I want to be a mom more than anything else. I know people are different, and everyone has their own goals and ambitions, but how do you make it to the point where you have a nine-year-old daughter, and just decide to quit? If you know you don't want to be a mom, shouldn't you decide that before you get married? Shouldn't you not have a child? Shouldn't you not have two children? Gah!!!

Life's so crazy. You wake up in the morning knowing exactly what your plan is, when you're leaving, what you'll be doing, how long you're staying, and the next moment you have no idea what's going to happen, where you're going to live, what you'll do. . .

I suppose patience is the answer.

Patience indeed.