bannanablog

Did He Say Limo? Wait a Second, I'm His Translator. Hold Up!

2012-01-26T14:39:00.000-08:00

Remember how I used to have a big party every month? I miss that. I need to plan more parties for the upcoming months...

Last January I started planning a surprise birthday party for my wonderful Sister-in-law, Anna. I didn't know exactly what we would do, but I did want it to involve formal dresses, a limo, and a surprise. I told my friend, Jen, and we both were pretty excited about the idea. Last month Jen and I nailed down a few more details and then I emailed a few other friends for input. It didn't take long for a great plan to form: We would dress up in formal and semi-formal dresses, rent a limo and drive over to Anna's house where her husband would somehow have gotten her all dressed up in a formal. We would surprise her and kidnap her and eat birthday cake in the limo while we drove to a very fancy restaurant to eat dinner. That was the plan, anyway.

After I talked to Anna's husband, the plan fell apart pretty quickly; he was leaving on a business trip on her birthday, so he would be unable to get her dressed up and he wouldn't be there to watch the kids while she was kidnapped.

After a flurry of emails of working out everyone's schedules (no easy feat) we finally decided to just do it without the help of the husband. We allotted thirty extra minutes to a surprise make-over and thought that was a better idea anyway.

And so, a week before her birthday, the plans were cemented. The limo was reserved, the reservations for the restaurant was made, and the dresses were picked out.

Things went quite perfectly. To be honest, I was expecting a few problems. In that regard I was very pleasantly surprised. The limo showed up exactly on time and to my surprise it wasn't just a limo, but a beautiful white stretch limo. It was way more fancy than I had expected! We rode it over to Anna's house where we met the guest who had made the birthday cake. Again, I was surprised by the lack of problems: She was on time, the cake was absolutely amazing, (and later I discovered it was delicious) and for ease of eating in a limo, she had made five little individual cakes and put them each on their own little plate with their own fork and carried them all on a tray. It was brilliant!

It was time for the birthday girl! We rang the doorbell and even got the whole "Surprise; Happy Birthday!" yelling and the surprise reaction on film. We bustled in and did the make-over while Drek finished preparing dinner for the kids and volunteered to stay and watch them while we went out.

When the birthday girl was ready we went outside and surprised her with the limo. The last guest arrived and we all we got in to the limo and ate the amazing cake. We went to the restaurant and got one of the best waiters I have ever had. After a wonderful dinner he brought Anna a Creme Brulee with a lit candle in it, on the house, with enough spoons for everyone.

We took pictures in front of the limo and then went back to Anna's house. We arrived exactly on schedule. It was amazing.

So that party went well. I'm excited to start planning the next one! Happy Birthday, Anna!

Okay, Rule Number One Out Here: Always... No, Never Go Out in a Blizzard

2012-01-23T13:21:00.000-08:00

I'm visiting Homeland for a few days. Mei-mei is getting ready to go on her mission and I wanted to be with her when she went to the Temple for the first time.

Saturday night was the big event. I left Ash with her grandparents and drove down the mountain to the Temple. Usually it's about a five minute drive, but I happened to be driving through a snow storm, and sliding down most of the hills, so it took about fifteen minutes.

But I still made it on time. It was wonderful to be there with both my sisters and my parents. Our whole original family, together in the temple! It was very nice.

And then it ended and I had to drive back up the mountain. The snowstorm had only gotten worse and of course now it was dark and the roads were slush and ice. That drive is probably the most terrifying drive of my life. My tires were spinning about sixty miles and hour, but I was only going about fifteen miles and hour, if that. But I was going forward, which was good. I was terrified of sliding backwards down those steep hills. And I did mostly stay in my lane, although there were a few times when I was driving in the middle of the road.

Finally I was only one turn away. I turned from a semi-busy road onto an all-white road. I could see my in-laws house four houses away. I turned, and just kept turning. The road was sheer ice. I gently glided into the curb, then put the car into reverse to try again. Alas, I was stuck. Just then the snow plow drove by, clearing the road. If only he had driven by one minute earlier.

So I called my wonderful mother-in-law, who sent out the boys, and girls, and the girl's dates. They got me unstuck and in front of the house, and then my mother-in-law pulled some pretty impressive NASCAR stunts to get the car into the driveway.

A few minutes later we were drinking hot chocolate and eating popcorn. It ended well, but I am so ready to get back to driving Astro on the warm roads of Sunland.

That's a Post Holer. You Dig holes. For Posts

2012-01-21T13:05:00.000-08:00

In fixing up our yard, we've planted twelve trees in nine months; Last week we planted a Macadamia tree to add to the collection of new trees on our property.

I use the term "we" lightly. I've picked out most of the trees, but I've only dug the hole and planted two. Drek's the one that's dug most of the holes and done the hard labor. Drek planted this last tree. He did it while I was away from the house. When I got back I looked at the new tree in our yard. I also noticed that he had tended to all twelve of our trees and there was a bag of fertilizer next to one.

"What did you put around all threes?" I asked him.
"Huh?"
"That stuff around all the trees. It looks like straw. What is it?"
"It's straw."
"Ah. That makes sense."

I hope this coming year we'll be able to eat a few freshly-picked fruit and macadamia nuts!

Live Every Week Like It's Shark Week

2012-01-16T08:18:00.000-08:00

During the break between Christmas and New Years, Drek's family came to visit and we all went to the beach. It was a perfect beach day; the sky was blue, the sun was shining the temperatures hovered around 76, and the beach wasn't crowded at all.

I sat on the beach by the towels while Drek did a little bit of boogie boarding. I was trying to get a good picture of him, and it was then that I noticed something beside him.

I couldn't tell right away what it was. I thought it might be a really big fish. I saw it's long beautiful body swimming right next to Drek with a fin coming above the water for just an instant.

I was so excited, I jumped up with the camera to get a closer shot. In my excitement I tried to describe what I was seeing, In my mind, I thought "Sea animal." the but the word that came our of my mouth was "Shark!"

Here's a little tip for you beach goers: It's not really the best idea to yell "Shark!" on a beach while there are several swimmers, boogieboarders and surfers in the water, and a crowd of people on the sand next to you. Jumping up all of a sudden and frantically snapping pictures with your camera after yelling "Shark!" instead of explaining what you are seeing, isn't really a good idea either. Especially if you are excitedly yelling things like "Right next to Drek! It's like a foot away! It's so close, it's close enough to bite him!"

It was not a shark, but a sea lion. I saw that almost right away, but it took several minutes for everyone else on the beach to realize that. Oops.

That Station Wagon of Yours Doesn't Exactly Look Like a Sailing Ship. It's a Rocket Ship. My Mistake

2012-01-13T17:31:00.000-08:00

We got a new car. It's a salvaged car, just like Jasmine was. Actually, it was rebuilt by the same guy that built Jasmine.

It's a Saturn, it has a sunroof, the console is super fancy and the engine is whisper quiet. The doors open in opposite directions and there are only two seats in the back. For those reasons, this car is my spaceship. I named him Astro:

If Anyone Gets Nosy, Just, You Know... Shoot 'em. Shoot 'em? Politely

2012-01-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

Today was the first Sunday School class of 2012. I'm not teaching the same class. This time I'm teaching thirteen, fourteen, fifteen and sixteen year olds. I have nine kids in my class; five of them were in my class. As far as I can tell, there is no logical explanation for how the Sunday school classes are divided up. Officially, I am teaching the fourteen/fifteen year old Sunday school class, but that's two children, so they added the older class, and three kids from the younger class.

You may think that they took those three random kids out of my old class because my old class was so huge (fourteen teenagers) and no one wants to teach a class that big, but you would be wrong. For reasons I cannot fathom, they took five kids out of my old class and moved them up, and then they combined that class with the younger class, making that class include twenty kids ages eleven to fourteen.

TWENTY. And I thought fourteen was out of control. I am so glad I am not teaching that class.

You Know, I Was Born in the Wrong Millennium

2012-01-05T06:56:00.001-08:00

It's been a week and a day since our car accident on the freeway. The insurance called yesterday to let us know that Jasmine is, officially, totaled. Repairs were estimated at over six thousand dollars. I told them six thousand dollars worth of repairs was well worth it for that little car, but they said no. They said they would give me a check for a thousand dollars instead.

Sadly, I can't buy a used car for a thousand dollars.

I'm so confused by this...why do we have insurance again? Isn't is so they will pay for things in the case of an accident? Um, hello, I was in an accident, why aren't they paying to fix my car or to get me a new one? What was the point? Instead of paying for insurance every month I could have put it in a savings account. After five years that money would be more than enough to buy me a new used car. To top it off, they said now that they have offered us the money (but we won't get the check for two to three weeks) they will stop paying for a rental car. So, we need to buy another car like, now.

I've tried to convince Drek that this is the perfect opportunity to ditch the car altogether. We can ride the bus! We can bike! We can just stay home! But since the buses here don't really go a lot of places and biking isn't really feasible with the long distances and the hills, he said no. I tried to sweeten the deal by telling him we'd buy him a motorcycle, so he could still get around. But that still leaves us with no way to get to church on Sundays, so he still said no.

So I've spent all day today trying to get us a car loan. I'm so irritated by the whole thing. I don't want a car, but I have to buy one. I don't have money to buy a car, so I have to borrow the money. And then I'll still have to pay for insurance on that car that I didn't want.

It's days like this when I truly wonder if I wasn't born in the wrong millennium.

The Truth Is... I am a Member of a Joint NSA CIA Black Ops Team that is Stationed Here in Burbank. I Have a Level 6 Clearance and My Code Name is Charles Carmichael. I'm a Spy, Buddy

2012-01-04T06:44:00.000-08:00

Is there anyone, in the entire United States, that lives somewhere where only mail addressed to them is delivered? It seems like everywhere I have lived, more mail is delivered addressed to non current residents than mail addressed to actual current residents of the house.

This house is no exception. We get a lot of mail for other people. I've gone through all the standard channels: marking it and putting it back into the mailbox, actually calling the post office, but the mail keeps coming.

Today UPS delivered a package for a Steve Smith to our door. I found it so odd: I can see USPS mail coming to us but a hand-delivered package to our doorstep marked "Time Sensitive Material?" This wasn't someone forgetting to change an address in some database, this was was someone ordering something off the internet and specifically shipping it to my house.

Right under the name was a phone number to reach Steve Smith. I glanced over the package but no where was there a number to call UPS. What was I supposed to do? Leave the package in my mailbox? It wasn't USPS's problem.

I signed and dialed Steve Smith's number, hoping he would tell me he's have UPS come back and pick it up. Besides, that way I could ask him why he used my address.

But what would I say? Was the phone number even real? Would he answer? Would his secretary answer? What if his wife answered and he had mistaken my address for his mistress' address and I was about to be caught in the middle of a very messy ordeal?

I decided I would act very business-like and ask for a Mr. Steve Smith. I would inform them that I was in possession of a package and ask the best way to return it to him. That sounded good. I dialed the number.

The phone rang a few times and then a familiar voice picked up the phone. "Hello, my love." It said.

I paused.

"Drek?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this your phone number?"

"This is my google number."

"Oh. Uh... do you know why we just got a package from UPS to a Mr. Steve Smith?"

"Yes. That's a name I use online sometimes for odd websites."

"Oh. Well, you package arrived."

"Great! Thanks!"

"Sure...so, you have an alias and a secret phone number?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Oh....are you a spy?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Huh"

So, case solved. Now if only I could figure out to stop getting credit card offers for Michael Samor, that would be great.

But Behind That Fair Façade I'm Afraid She's Rather Odd

2011-12-31T22:48:00.000-08:00

2011 was, in a word: odd.

I went to the beach wearing flip-flops and short sleeves in winter. I bought a house instead of renting and did all the odd things that come with home-ownership. I came face to face with a cheetah, a wolf, and a panther. I discovered I love blood oranges. I learned how to iron. I swam with leopard sharks and a sea lion. I discovered I love hanging laundry on a clothes line. I found myself in yet another manipulative relationship (how do I get myself into these things?) but actually managed to get myself out. I got chickens. I went scuba-diving. I bought an ocean kayak. I went to a horse polo game. I got beaten up by a goose. I ate several goose eggs. I drove an all-electric car.

Acouchi died. Chicken Juliette died. Jasmine died.

I've had two major life crisis this year. One in May, in which decisions were made that I don't think I will ever get over. It's odd to think that the big "If only" moment of my life happened this year. The second major life crisis happened, well, last week. I'm actually still working through it. I'll let you know how that one turns out.

I know this sounds odd, but I feel like my frontal lobe finished developing this year. Really. I've had a millions and one epiphanies this year. I've come to understand so many things about myself and those around me. I feel like I can finally see the big picture. I really feel like I've made tremendous progress this year.

I didn't complete all my 2011 New Year's resolutions. I didn't published a novel and sell more copies than the seventh Harry Potter book. I didn't save the CEO of a major international airline from a burning car and get a golden tickets to fly anywhere in the wold. But I did win NaNoWrimo. I did make some new and wonderful friends. I did buy a house, make a clothesline, foster a litter of kittens and travel quite a bit.

I can't decide the word I want to be able to describe 2012. Maybe I just want 2012 to be a surprise. Okay, 2012: surprise me.

You Have a Good Heart, Kenneth. I Hope You're in a Car Accident so That I Can Have It

2011-12-30T08:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Drek and I dropped Ash off at a babysitter's house and headed down to the temple with Drek's parents. As is common on Sunland Freeways, the traffic was moving at normal speeds, then stopped, then moving at normal speeds, then stopped. During one of those "stopping" phases, the car in front of us didn't think he could stop in time (I assume) and moved over into the shoulder. Drek saw the cars stopping and so he came to a gradual, gentle stop. The car behind us was not so alert. After a very angry squeal of tires and brakes, we were slammed from behind. Because that car in front of us had moved off to the side, and because Drek had stopped to give him plenty of room to get back on, we didn't hit the car in front of us. It was a simple two-car accident.

But it was still a nasty accident. Everyone was "fine" (I put it in quotes because most of us had headaches and my neck was on fire yesterday and today I mostly wish I had been decapitated, but no broken bones, no blood, you get the idea...) but both cars were totaled.

It's the best of a terrible situation: no one was seriously hurt, Ash wasn't in the car, and everyone has good insurance coverage. So hooray.

And yet, Jasmine is dead. She would have lasted at least two more years. She was such a good car. And now we have to get a new car. If buying Jasmine five years ago taught me anything, it's that I HATE car shopping. Seriously.

If you ask me what I want, I'll tell you I want an electric car. Or a car that runs on water. But I'm forced to buy a gas powered car. Which is stupid.

I have no preference as to which gas-powered car we get. They are all gas guzzling, world polluting, money draining, death traps.

So, anyone have any suggestions? Jasmine was a Saturn, but they don't make Saturns anymore. I grew up with Toyaotas, but I hear there was recent scandal with Toyota brakes? I do have a preference for Fords. Does anyone have a car they love that they can suggest?

Happy Christmas

2011-12-27T14:09:00.000-08:00

We had a party on Christmas Eve Eve; a simple potluck with delicious food and lots of games of stuffed animal dodgeball. We sung some hymns just to make it Christmas-y and called it a night. It was a great party spent in wonderful company.

Christmas Eve was also wonderful; we had a delicious dinner and had a beloved family over for dinner. We opened a few gifts and then Drek Ash and I got in the car to go look at Christmas lights. We came back and put Ash down for bed, then snuggled up for a game of scrabble. We fell asleep around ten, looking forward to Christmas Morning!

And midnight Ash woke up unable to breathe. She had a terrible cough. Ben got up with her and I looked up Insurance and Emergency Room info. Her breathing wasn't great, but it wasn't quite bad enough for a trip to the ER. We went back to sleep, but she woke up about every thirty minutes. Every time we decided it was bad enough to go the hospital her breathing would get better and she would fall back asleep. And then thirty minutes later she would wake up again. It was a miserable night. Finally, around six, she fell asleep and stayed asleep. So did Drek, but I was up. I made a big Christmas breakfast, cleaned a little bit, watched a Christmas movie, read a Christmas book and then sat around going "now what?"

I called Ash's on-call doctor. He said it was croup, and it sounded like a mild case. He told me what to watch for and that was that.

Drek and Ash finally woke up around nine. We had a very low-key Christmas which ended early do Ash could take a nap.

I did laundry. I talked to my family. That was about it.

Ash is doing much better now. She'll still bark every once in a while, but she's sleeping at night and she's no longer contagious.

And there's always next year.

You are Hereby Called to Serve as a Missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are Assigned to Labor in the Boston, Massachusetts Mission

2011-12-23T14:19:00.000-08:00

Two days ago I was setting up a portable heater in our house (It gets very cold at night and not only do we not know if our furnace works, but we're not sure we want to find out) when it bounced back and hit be in the face. My tooth went through my lip. That was the extent of the damage; a swollen, bloody, cut lip.

Until four in the morning, when I woke up with some severe nausea. I spent the next twenty four hours with flu symptoms; freezing to death while running a high fever, muscle cramps, not being able to move...

Drek stayed home from work to take care of me and our little one. He is so great. He read a book to me. In the book was a women with polio who had spent the last thirty years inside an iron lung. She had contracted polio at seven months pregnant and actually gave birth inside the iron lung. Amazing, no?

Anyway, instead of being inspiring as was intended, it scared me to death. "Drek!" I moaned. "What if I have Polio? What if I have to spend the rest of my life inside an iron lung?"

He wasn't very sympathetic to my wild ideas. "How in the world would you have gotten polio?"

"From the heater! My tooth! My cut lip! I must have contracted the virus on the plane coming back from Hometown, harmless enough, until my tooth cut my lip, giving the virus direct access to my bloodstream! It just happened to be the one single virus that bypasses my polio vaccine! I'm dying!"

But, this morning I woke up just fine. My fever had broke and after easing my tummy back on to solid foods, I'm feeling great.

I was finally able to call my sister, Mei-Mei, and tell her congratulations on her mission call! She got it yesterday and opened it while I was on Skype, but I wasn't very responsive because I was dying of not-polio.

So, Congratulations, Mei-mei! We are so excited for you!

You Know What Would Pick Up the Morale in Here? Flip-Flop Fridays. You Can Feel the Breeze in Your Toes

2011-12-20T11:42:00.000-08:00

I just got back from a visit to Hometown. Mei Mei graduated with her associates degree so I also took a trip up to Burgville to see her walk.

I didn't stay long and had very little time, but it was still fun. Fun but cold. Very very cold.

After my flight landed in Sunland I stood on the sidewalk waiting for Drek to pick me up. The sun was shining and it was warm enough for me to be in a T-shirt and be comfortable. "Oh. This is why we live here." I thought to myself.

I went to the store and bought myself a new pair of flip-flops. I wore them around all of yesterday, along with a T-shirt. It was that warm. It's so worth the exorbitant milk prices.

Now, Before we Learn How to Build the Latest in Extreme Graphic Chipset Processors, Let's Recite the Code of the Elves, Shall We?

2011-12-13T18:55:00.000-08:00

I love how Drek's family does Christmas presents. The focus is always on the thought; not on the money. They draw names and the point it to give a thoughtful gift, not an expensive gift. Usually, the presents need to be homemade to emphasize thought over price.

This year the gift needed to be an ornament. My sister-in-law came over last night and presented us with our gifts:

A Christmas card holder she made:

And little baby Jesus ornaments made out of nut shells and cloth. This picture isn't very good, but trust me, they are DARLING.

She is so creative.

Anyway, back in November I was told I needed to ornaments for my in-laws. I loved this idea in theory, but soon I remembered a vital fact: I am not a craft a person. AT ALL.

Remember how to years ago my brilliant idea for a a homemade gift was to make a hat and a scarf? And I worked on it for two months before giving up and handing it over to Krisling who finished it in five minutes?

Remember how last year I tried to paint a board for my niece and failed miserably, so I had to go out to Toys R Us on a night in December to buy a last minute gift?

So, just in case I am tempted next year to do the same thing this year: DON'T DO IT, K LA! It doesn't matter how easy Pintest makes it look, you will FAIL!

This year I decided to collect sea shells from the beach, glue pictures inside and ribbons on top and call them Christmas ornaments. Alas, after two trips to the beach, we decided large or even medium size seashells were not "in season." We couldn't even find one and we needed six.

On to Plan B: Buying shatter-proof clear plastic ornaments, glue the pictures to a sparkling ocean-blue glitter paper and put it inside. Add sand and tiny seashells.

Alas, I could not find the plastic ornaments that came apart, only the ones with the removable top: There was no way to get a picture inside.

Plan C: I returned to the craft store, bought ocean blue glitter glue, returned the ocean blue glitter paper, and spent twenty minutes arguing with the clerk who would not give me the eighty cents in change because I didn't have my driver's licence with me.

Still, I returned home optomistic: I would write the names on the outside of the ornament in the glitter glue and fill it with sand and seashells. The name-writing went great, but the sand I got turned out to be more pebbles than sand. I decided to return to the beach.

Three trips later, I still hadn't found the fine white sand I envisioned, so I gave up and went with fine gray sand. Not as pretty, but it would work. Alas, the seashells wouldn't stay on top of the sand, so instead of a picturesque beach snow-globe, it looked more like a ball filled with gray sand.

Plan D: okay, start from scratch: look for ideas on Pintrest. I found a very easy-looking recipe that made Christmas smelling ornaments. The recipe only required cinnamon, elmer's glue and applesauce. It's supposed to smell wonderful, even years later. And since it looked more like baking than crafting, I decided it couldn't fail! I borrowed Christmas cookie-cutters, bought the ingredients and set to work!

The dough was not turning into dough, so I added flour. Then more flour, than more flour. When it finally looked more like dough and less like pudding, I rolled it out in between two pieces of parchment paper. Pintrest said the top piece of paper should peel right off, and then I just had to cookie-cutter the dough and bake!

No. Very No. The dough was way too sticky and still too liquid. I tried to peel off the top, but it just stuck together and created a mess. Exasperated I threw the whole thing a way. "Let's just buy them a nativity set," I told Drek. "No, no!" he replied. "I still like the sand-ornament idea."

Plan E: Let Drek do it. He poured glue into the balls of sand, and then sprinkled the seashells on top. This worked great, except for some reason the glue created condensation which made the glitter-glue fall off. "Hey, I have an idea." he said. "Let's just buy them a nativity set."

Plan F: Buy a nativity set.

But a lot of thought went into that store-bought nativity set.

How Blessed the Day When the Lamb and the Lion Shall Lie Down Together Without any Ire

2011-12-11T19:14:00.001-08:00

I'm a vegetarian and I'm a Mormon. No, the LDS church doesn't teach vegetarianism, and no, the vast majority of Mormons are not vegetarians. I've posted before about how my choice to be a vegetarian was a very personal, very important choice to me. It came about through a long series of events. I understand that it was MY choice, and might not be yours. If you are not vegetarian, that's ok! I really don't see a problem. I don't feel the need to preach vegetarianism all over. I don't feel the need to try and convince others to make the same choice. In fact, Sometimes I'm afraid to bring up the fact that I am a vegetarian; while it's no longer a big deal to me, it can be a huge deal to others. I don't want to cause a scene or anyone to make a huge deal out of it. I don't want to offend anyone or have them think that I'm snobby or something. I really don't like to bring it up at all in church; because once you mix in the gospel, it goes from opinions about life choices to opinions about the scriptures, and that gets complicated. I try really hard to avoid the subject when I am in a teaching position because I don't want to distract from Christ by arguing about diet. When I am in a teaching position, I even try to stay from Doctrine and Covenants 89:12-15, because I think that if I read it, they will dismiss it as a biased opinion, rather than actual doctrine.

But, I still have strong opinions about it. And I think I'm right (I wouldn't have the made choice if I thought I was wrong!). If you get me started, I do have arguments and points and facts, but mostly, I just don't get started.

Today I taught my Sunday School class a special lesson. It was a lesson several months in the making, and it was a entitled "Super Plan of Salvation Super Lesson". The kids knew it was special and even prepared for it weeks beforehand. During the lesson a few of them even reminded the others to be quiet because it was a super lesson.

We were on topic. The kids were involved, I was teaching, they were learning, things were going great! They were raising their hands and asking such great questions. We were having some really great discussions and then one kid raised his hand and asked: "Will we eat meat in the millennium?"

I stopped dead. "Uh, you know..." I had my answer. I thought of a few quotes to back up my answer. I wanted to argue the point of eating meat before the millennium. But all I said was "you can't get an unbiased answer from a vegetarian."

Which I knew was a mistake as soon as the words left my mouth. The kids immediately gasped and asked if I was vegetarian, to which I responded yes and suddenly we were WAY off topic. Questions rained down about why and how and what I ate and if my child ate meat and on and on. Oh dear.

I managed to steer the conversation back to the lesson. And I managed not to voice my strong opinions. So I'll call that a win.

The lesson itself was a huge success, I think anyway. You'd have to ask the kids.

That's Tom Wolfe. He Uses More Exclamation Points than Any American Author

2011-12-06T11:04:00.001-08:00

Ever since my laptop died and was replaced by a desktop with a plug-in keyboard, I have noticed an increasing number on uncapitalized I's in my emails and posts. I blame this on some weird keyboard quirk.

Last week I finally complained to Drek about it and he added that the keyboard drove him crazy because of the positioning of the arrow keys. The next thing I knew Drek and purchased a new keyboard for us and my I's were back to their regular capitalization.

Sadly, yesterday Ash decided that our new keyboard needed a bath. We dried it out best we could, but now I am noticing that I cannot type an exclamation mark or an at symbol. I can type the number one: 1. I can type the number two: 2. but when I add the shift key, nothing is typed. I never realized how much I use exclamation points.

This has created a small problem in that tone isn't expressed in written form, so when I say something like:

Great We can't wait to see you

It comes across as more sarcastic. Huh. Is

Great exclamation point We can't wait to see you exclamation point exclamation point

any better? Maybe we just need to go back to uncapitalized I's for a while.

I Don't Know Half of You Half as Well as I Should Like, and I Like Less Than Half of You Half as Well as You Deserve

2011-12-02T17:45:00.001-08:00

My wonderful husband turns thirty years old today! A big happy birthday to my wonderful Drek!

I wanted to make this birthday especially special. All the gifts were thirty-themed:

So he got the three movies of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the first movie of the Star Wars trilogy (Thanks to my wonderful parents who decorated the package below!)a thirty dollar gift card to his favorite store, and thirty thirty-minutes massages. I also wrote out thirty cards, each with a reason why I love him and a one dollar bill. I hid them around the house. He is looking for them right now!

I also made eclairs. From scratch. They turned out so very perfect:

I made them for him to take to work to share with his co-workers, but he forgot them and was too busy to come back home during lunch. So, sorry co-workers. I tried.

Ash and I made him a banner with a lot of help from my nieces and nephew!

And tonight we are going laser tagging and eating birthday cake! Proving that just because you're thirty, doesn't mean you still can't act like a college kid.

Why Would a Child Go to the Zoo?

2011-11-30T19:33:00.001-08:00

The end of November means the end of our season passes to the zoo. We got them as Ash's Christmas present last year. We've gone about two dozen times and boy, was it worth it! We have loved every zoo trip! Sadly, we will not be renewing, as it's just a little too far to keep driving twice a month.

We went for the last time today. It was an amazing experience; we happened to be there when they were walking a cheetah, but this time the staff actually stopped to talk to us. I was only two feet away from a cheetah for about five minutes. I could hear it purr. It was AMAZING.

But it hasn't been my only amazing experience at the zoo. So, for this post, I present my top zoo moments (not necessarily in order):

Baby Hippo water ballet:

The best exhibit in the zoo: The otters. I LOVE this exhibit:

Actually seeing a red panda. Because every time I go to the zoo it's always hiding. When this one was actually out and eating it's lunch, I nearly had a heart attack:

Watching a Cheetah run seventy miles per hour

When Your Opponent's Sittin' There Holding All Aces, There's Only One Thing Left to Do: Kick Over the Table

2011-11-27T08:54:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving vacation was wonderful!

It started off on Wednesday; Drek had to go into work and I wasn't expecting him hope until five or six (that is not the wonderful part). Ash went down for a nap around noon, so I sat at the computer, furiously typing away a scene in my novel. I was in the zone; thoroughly captivated by burglars breaking into a dark house, guns abounding, and people being locked inside dog kennels. Right in the middle of this, the back sliding door opened and a man walked into my house. I must have jumped five feet. I gasped at flailed around.

Drek paused for a second: "You okay?"

"You scared me! I thought you were a burglar with a gun coming to lock me in a dog kennel!"

"I just came home from work early."

"Well, why didn't you use the front door?"

Drek shrugs. But hey, he was home from work early! We played for the rest of the day. That night I went off to a girl's musical night. We watched Robin and the Seven Hoods.

Thursday morning we got up and played some Frisbee golf. I didn't actually start cooking until an hour before dinner. We went to a wonderful dinner over at our wonderful neighbor's house. The food was wonderful and the company was fantastic. After dinner we went over to a friend's house to eat pie and play games: We had twelve pies: Banana Cream, French Silk, Lemon Meringue, Cherry, Cherry Cream, Buttermilk, Pumpkin, two pecan and three Dutch Apple. For more variety we had a Pumpkin cake and little sweet potato tartlets, plus ice cream, whipped cream, and cool whip. Sadly, everyone had a huge dinner (and we had eaten a few slices of pie already) so the pies were mostly left for the next day. Still, the night was wonderful. We played some great games and had a wonderful time!

Friday morning we played some Frisbee golf, then went on a short hike for the most spectacular view! Then we decided it was time for Christmas; we bought a tree and Christmas lights for our house. The rest of the day and most of Saturday was spent decorating our house for Christmas, listening to Christmas music and just having a great time together. My good friend came down to visit for a few hours and that was wonderful. Ash was sleeping and Drek was out at a movie with friends so we had a lot of time to talk. It was wonderful. Saturday we went to the beach and spent a lot of time outdoors because the weather was just so perfect!

I am so thankful for the wonderful time we spent together! I am thankful for my family and for such good friends.

Thirty Days and Nights of Literary Abandon

2011-11-26T11:48:00.001-08:00

And I'm done.

With NaNoWrimo, not my novel. My novel is coming along nicely, but is not yet finished. I think I'm a bit more than half-way.

I'm going to admit right now; I cheated just a little bit. During NaNoWriMo you're supposed to write 50,000 words of your novel. Most days, I was in the flow and the frustrating thing was that I couldn't find time to write. However, there were a few days (towards the end, or course) where I was hit with Writer's block. So, to get my word count for the day, I wrote character description. These really helped me to solidify a few plot points. it also really helped clarify things and bring more character to my characters. It was also a good cure for writers block so I could keep writing in my novel. However, on November 23, when my word count his 50,090, I took out those character descriptions and realized that I had just lost 8,000 words.

But, it was only November 23. You can't officially win NaNoWrimo until Nov 25, so I thought I'd keep writing and replace the 8,000 words from my character descriptions with 8,000 words of my actual novel.

Yeah, since then I've averaged 500 words a day. And now Thanksgiving is over and everything for Christmas needs done NOW, so I'm out of time. That's okay though. I did end up with a final word count of 50907, and if some of that is character descriptions, that's okay. I'll keep working on my novel, but right now I need to do the things I've been neglecting all November. Like: cleaning my house, eating vegetables, actually talking to my husband and yes, posting on my blog.

I am going to give myself a new goal: I need to write 5,000 words a week until the first draft of my novel is completed. That's not a lot compared to what I've been doing (my goal was 2,273 words a day) but it's still enough to make me sit down and write during my toddler's naptime.

We All Do Extol Thee, Thou Leader Triumphant, And Pray That Thou Still Our Defender Will Be

2011-11-22T06:38:00.001-08:00

Last year I started thinking a lot about why I hate Thanksgiving so much. I love Holidays. I use any excuse to throw a party and often make up Holidays just because I want to. So why don't I like Thanksgiving?

There are many, many reasons, but I wanted to focus on what I could to like it more. What could I do to make Thanksgiving fun not only for me, but for my child, whom I don't want growing up hating Thanksgiving.

Last year I made a Thanksgiving themed meal a few days before Thanksgiving. I decided to do that again this year. I did it on Monday. We had the missionaries over for dinner, so it was a good excuse to do a really fancy dinner.

We had Rolls and stuffed mushrooms and cranberry sauce. Everything was from scratch except the cranberry sauce, which Drek loves from a can, in the shape of a can.

I made a delicious juice drink made with apple juice, cranberries and pumpkin pie spice!

Dessert was an amazing lemon meringue pie made from real lemons from our friend's tree. So delicious!

The main course was Orange You Glad It's Thanksgiving soup. I made a few modifications from last year, but had problems because I didn't follow the recipe last year and didn't write down the changes I made. So, for my use in future years, I will include my own recipe in this blog post.

The dinner was great. Like last year, I had a wonderful time both making it and eating it. It didn't take tons of prep time and, while I was in the kitchen for a few hours, it wasn't ALL DAY.

I also wanted to focus on what I think Thanksgiving should be about; That is, being thankful. At the beginning of November my toddler and I made this:

Everyday at dinner we each wrote something we were thankful for on a leaf and taped it up to our tree.

While I cooked in the kitchen, I made a you tube playlist of songs about Thanksgiving; hymns, melodies and such. I enjoyed that quite a bit.

I liked my little way of celebrating: No pilgrims, no turkeys, no traveling. Lots of good food (but not too much) lots of good music, more gratitude and more family time. I'll try to improve on it next year.

The other interesting thing is since I did the dinner on Monday, I feel like Thanksgiving is already over. it's odd that people are still preparing for it. Another benefit is that since Drek has Thursday off from work, I can spend the day with him instead of in the kitchen. And actually, we are still celebrating Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving, but I put Drek in charge of Thursday, so we'll do whatever he wants to do.

Orange You Glad It’s Thanksgiving Soup
2 tablespoon unsalted butter
1 medium onion, finely chopped
3 carrots, finely chopped
1 sweet potato, peeled and finely chopped
1 baby butternut squash, peeled and finely chopped
1 orange
Salt and pepper
1 cube vegetable bouillon
3 cups water
Grated nutmeg

Heat a soup pot over medium-high heat. Add butter. When butter has melted, add the onion, squash, sweet potato and carrots and cook until vegetables are soft, about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Deglaze with the juice from the orange and simmer for 1 to 2 minutes, scraping the bottom of the pot with a wooden spoon.Transfer the mixture to a food processor or a blender. Puree the mixture until smooth, then put into crockpot. To mixture, add water and bouillon and stir to combine. Adjust the seasoning. before serving, grate some fresh nutmeg and stir to combine.Ladle soup into bowls and garnish with chopped orange zest.

I'm Calling to Celebrate a Momentous Occasion. We're Now Officially Moved In

2011-11-12T06:53:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was 11/11/11 and it was quite a magical day. First, I hit the 25,000 words mark in my novel, meaning I am halfway through NaNoWriMo, so I can post on my blog, right?

It also marked a momentous occasion: I finally unpacked the last box. Now, it's official. Ha, ha, ha.

The last box had been sitting in a corner, all by itself, ever since I finished unpacking all the other boxes. What was in the last box? Books, of course. I couldn't unpack them because I had no where to put them. That is, until yesterday, which is reason number three yesterday was such a magical day:

I got bookshelves! I got two matching ones off of Craigslist. They are seven feet tall and three feet wide and can hold a lot of books. They can hold so many books, after putting them up and stuffing them with all the books we own, there are still a few empty shelves. Hooray!

From what I could tell from the women I bought them from, she inherited the bookshelves when she bought the property that used to be a library in a neighboring town. So I guess my bookshelves used to be actual library shelves. That's pretty cool, right?

Well, See Ya On The Other Side

2011-11-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

And it's November! I'm off to do NaNoWriMo again this year.

Two years ago I wrote my first novel, last year I edited (read: rewrote it) it. A few months ago, when my laptop exploded, so did the novel. So it's gone and lost forever, which is good, because they always tell you your first novel should be tossed anyway.

This year I'm writing a new novel, the first in a trilogy (Or that's the plan anyway, we'll see how reality pans out).

Wish me luck!

I'll blog again when I win, or in December, since this is my first NaNoWriMo with a toddler (gulp).

If You Think Being a Ninja's Hard Work, Try Being a Mom

2011-10-31T16:02:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!

On Saturday we went to a Halloween party. They had a place for us to take pictures in our Halloween costumes. This year we are a Ninja family! Here we are using our ninja skills and posing for the picture:

Giggle giggle. Get it? Because we're ninjas you can't see us. Actually, Ash and I went trick-or-treating at some local businesses. We went into a chocolate store (that was NOT giving away chocolate to trick-or-treaters but plain old tootsie rolls. So sad) and the girl behind the counter said "You! Ninja! I can see you! You're not being very ninja-y!"

Oh, but I suppose you really do want to see our costumes. Well, ok:

The downside of being the shutterbug in the family is you have tons of pictures of other people's costumes, but none of your own. Just take my word for it that my costume was cool.

You Actually Go Outside in These Things? Well, What Would You Prefer? Yellow Spandex?

2011-10-30T09:39:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned how much I love Halloween? I LOVE Halloween. My favorite part is the costumes. I love homemade costumes the best, and I love themed costumes even more. This year so far, I've mostly loved toddler costumes, as it was a big part of my life this year. I've also noticed that here in Sunland, people dress up their dogs for Halloween. A dog in a costume is always adorable: no matter how store-bought or homemade.

This year i made our Halloween costumes. Here we are:

A family of ghosts!

Bawahaha. Ok, ok, these are actually homemade Halloween decorations I made for our house. They look pretty scary at dusk!

What? You didn't actually think I would unveil our costumes before Halloween, did you?

This is War, Peacock. Casualties are Inevitable. You Can Not Make an Omelet Without Breaking Eggs, Every Cook Will Tell You That. But Look What Happened to the Cook!

2011-10-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

I do love CLUE. It's my favorite board game: it always has been. I love it so much I have four variations of the CLUE game. I read all the books when I was a twelve or thirteen and I haven't just seen the movie, I have it memorized.

I also love How To Host A Murder parties, and have been dismayed for several years that there was not a CLUE version of How To Host A Murder. So this year, I decided to write my own. This was do mostly to the fact that Rissy and I have been wanting to do another Saboteur game, but we are not in the same state, which makes things difficult. So, instead, we decided to write a How To Host a CLUE together.

At first, we tried to make it so it had the same element as How To Host A Murder; namely, enough real life, real time facts that through logical thinking and the process of elimination, you could reason the identity of the murderer, but also have it be like the board game clue; namely the murder weapon, location and murderer would change each game.

This brought be a whole new respect for the board game CLUE. It is such a perfect game. it's so simple, yet very complex. It's efficient, yet fun. It's... unrepeatable. After puzzling over it for a month, we gave up. We'll keep working on it, but I'm not sure there IS a way to merge the two.

So, we settled on a set murderer, weapon and location and went about writing the game.

I played it with a wonderful group of friends last night. The party was awesome. Not only did the game turn out rather well, but the players were just wonderful. I wish i could have given out awards: best dressed, best hair piece best reaction, best thinking-on-your-feet, best line, best answer, best cover-up. But then I would have to think actually did those things best, and I wouldn't know.

There were some great lines. I had a hard time falling asleep last night, re-playing all of it in my mind. Everyone just did Such. A good. Job. I had a wonderful time, I hope everyone else did too.

The Presidents of the Church Lesson 30: Preparing for an Eternal Home

2011-10-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

Remember how I was complaining about needing a forum to help me with my Sunday School Lesson Plans? I still haven't found such a forum, but I did discover more reasons why I need one:

I came across lesson thirty in which it gives a great idea:

Activity
Have the necessary items ready to use in the activity, including the wordstrips. You may wish to give the wordstrips to class members, and, as you name a particular “ingredient,” have the class member holding that wordstrip bring it to the table and place it in the mixing bowl. Put on the apron and hat, if you have one, and act out the following recipe using the large bowl, mixer, spoon or spatula, and ingredients (wordstrips). As you mix, say the following:
These are the ingredients for a heavenly home.First, at the very beginning, invite the Holy Ghost to your home to stay.Crush Temptations and Sin and set them aside outside the bowl.Blend in one Temple Marriage, one Mother (who loves Dad), one Dad (who loves Mother).Gradually add Children.Quickly stir in Living the Gospel: Scripture Study, Prayer, and Meeting Attendance.Sprinkle liberally with Courtesy and Communication.Garnish with the Word of Wisdom: Exercise, Proper Diet, and Rest.Pour Love over everything.Serve with Unselfishness.

When you have finished with the ingredients, uncover the cookies or other food that you prepared before class. Let each class member take one. Tell them that just as the good taste of the cookies (or candy, etc.) can last, the success in a marriage can last forever if the ingredients are all included.

What a delightful idea. But it's kind of sad to put wordstrips into a bowl. How about I put the wordstrips on actual ingredient containers and put real food into the bowl?! We could actually make cookies! What a wonderful lesson to keep the attention of teenagers!

So I searched the internet for an actual cookie recipe that goes along with this lesson. I needed a cookie recipe with the same amount of ingredients, two eggs, and that didn't take much time to bake.

I could not find a recipe. I cannot be the first person ever to change this lesson into an actual cookie-making session. I cannot possibly be the first person to make not-pretend cookies. I found a few blogs referring to family home evening activities where the above lesson was used but none of them actually made the cookies out of the recipe. They just read the recipe and then brought out cookies. Again I cannot be the first person to want to connect the two.

And yet I found myself making up my own cookie recipe to fit the above description and even tweaking the above description to fit my recipe. SO: For all you twelve and thirteen year old Sunday School Teachers who find this blog post because you want to make actual cookies: YOU ARE WELCOME.

I printed out the recipe card for each student. The recipe said this:

Recipe for a Happy Home
“It’s possible to make home a bit of heaven. Indeed, I picture heaven as a continuation of the ideal home.” David O. McKay

First, at the very beginning, invite the Holy Ghost to your home to stay
Mix in Scripture Study, Prayer and Meeting Attendance
Create a temple marriage by blending together one Mother (who loves Dad) and one Dad (who loves Mother).
Beat together the Temple marriage and unselfishness.
Add Word of Wisdom.
Crush Temptations and Sin, and add.
Stir Temple Marriage mix in with dry mix.
Gradually add Children
Sprinkle with Courtesy and Communication
Drop by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets and bake in Love

And on the back I had this:
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour = Holy Ghost
1 teaspoon baking soda = Scripture Study
¼ teaspoon baking powder = Meeting Attendance
1 teaspoon salt= Prayer
1 cup (2 sticks, 1/2 pound) butter, softened = Unselfishness
3/4 cup granulated [white] sugar = Mom (who loves Dad)
3/4 cup packed brown sugar = Dad (who loves Mom)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract = Word of Wisdom
1 teaspoon nutmeg = Courtesy
1 teaspoon cinnamon = Communication
2 eggs = Temptations and Sin
2 cups Chocolate chips= Children
1 small mixing bowl = Temple Marriage
Bake at 375-degree for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown = Love

I did have class in the kitchen and we did actually make the cookies. Beforehand I had re-labeled the ingredients to look like this:

At the beginning, I had each student pick out an ingredient (or two or three). I read the recipe out loud and every time we used an ingredient the student read the label out loud and then added it in. To make the labels I used what was in the manual but sometimes I thought the manual was dumb. Other times the manual didn't have anything so I made it up. Had I had more time (read: Had I not had to make everything else up on my own) I would have had a scripture or David O. McKay quote on each label. As you can see with some labels I just got lazy (Meeting Attendance is labeled: It's important)

If I had my forum where I tell other teachers how my lesson went I would say something like this: WARNING: You know how you are not supposed to use the church ovens to bake anything? I thought that was just because they didn't want you to burn the church down so I baked the cookies in the oven anyway. As it turns out you're not supposed to bake anything because the wonderful cookie smell goes through THE ENTIRE CHURCH and your whole ward will come in asking for cookies and asking if you actually baked in the ovens even though there is a sign right above them telling you not to.

But this activity really did hold the kid's attention. And they did listen and have a great discussion. And the cookies were delicious.

Trying To Make Breastfeeding Normal

2011-10-22T18:05:00.000-07:00

A girl in my ward had her baby shower today. She kept telling me she'd send me a list of things she still "needed" for the baby, but she never did. The day of the shower I still had no gift, so I was left to my own devising.

I devised this:

It's a Breastfeeding Basket. I saw the idea on Lactating Girl's blog. It's a great gift for baby showers to help the mom-to-be prepare for breastfeeding. in my basket I included a water bottle (to stay hydrated) lots of protein bars (for easy snacks) Mother Love nipple cream, Mother's Milk Tea, Fenugreek pills, and these things called Booby Tubes I found that help with engorgement and mastitis. I also included a flyer for a free babywearing class in the area, and a breastfeeding support group. I wanted to include LLL's paper on breastfeeding after a C-section, but I don't own a printer. So, instead I emailed her that information and stuck in a little index card with her local LLL group's info.

I don't really think she liked it: She's not really big on breastfeeding (she is, after all electing to have a C-section. It's already been scheduled and she's already hording the baby formula samples the hospital and her OBGYN office gives out). Usually I spend around ten or fifteen dollars on gifts, while this collection cost me almost fifty dollars.

It would be more normal for me to give her a set of baby bottles or pacifiers. But that's why I wanted to give this gift so badly. I want supporting moms to breastfeed be a normal thing in our society, instead of setting up all the booby-traps. I would have LOVED a gift like this and I felt good giving it. And maybe it will help her to choose to breastfeed, or at least help normalize it in her mind.

One Thing is True of All Governments - Their Most Reliable Records are Tax Records

2011-10-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

I got our first Property Tax bill yesterday. Property taxes are weird. The government sets a fixed percentage for most taxes, then sees what revenue flows in, but for property taxes the city government sets the exact revenue it wants to collect, and then works out what percentage to charge each existing property to get that revenue. It's weird.

Also weird are the odd fees added on to my bill. The actual amount I'm paying in property taxes is about a thousand dollars less than the total bill. That's because I have so many added fees: Unified School fee, Community College fee, both of which I understand, but are useless to me. Then all the charges for water: Metro water fee, not to be confused with the metro water standby fee, and different from the water availability fee. All these are separate from the sewer service fee. And keep in mind I pay the water company twenty dollars a month on top of my actual water bill, for things like "water cleaning" and "pipe maintenance cost."

But then we get to the fees I can't figure out: Mosquito surveillance fee? Vector disease control fee? Rabid Raccoon Zombies prevention fee? Ok, I made that last one up. But the other two are actually on my bill. Do I really pay some guy to sit around watching mosquitoes? Is that a good job? Does he make enough to own a house? Does he pay a Mosquito surveillance fee with his property taxes?

Transformation Central! Reformation Central! Transmogrification Central!

2011-10-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

Remember how out house is twenty-five years old? The garage door is just as old. It's been estimated that the springs were replaced about fifteen years ago, and the bottom board of the garage door was replaced when we moved in because it had became a favorite meal of termites, but other that than, our garage door was wooden, manual, creaky, and according to some, likely to collapse at any time.

Today marks the momentous occasion of our new garage door! It was installed a few hours ago. It looks awesome. It makes our house look less... abandoned. Really, it makes the outside of our house look so much better. Now all we need is a lawn! And a new exterior, but those are minor details.

Jasmine has been living in the garage for a few months now, and last month Drek was awesome enough to clean and organize the entire garage, so Jasmine had a very comfortable home. Now it has the much-desired accessibility feature: we can open and close the garage door with the touch of a button. I could not be more thrilled.

Don't you just love when you've been saving and looking forward to something for months, and then it happens and it's even better than you expected? Hooray!

You Know How it is When You Get Those Manly Urges and You Just Gotta Kill Somethin'... Fix Things, Cook Outdoors...

2011-10-15T13:36:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday in Relief Society we had the Elder's Quorum secretary come in to make an announcement:
"Yes, so...the Elder's Quorum is having a camp-out this week, Friday night to Saturday morning. We leave at four so if your husbands come rushing home at three thirty yelling for a sleeping bag and claiming they have a ward thing, it's legit. You might want so set out their sleeping bag for them. Maybe even remind them."

A woman raised her hand and asked if they would be taking the kids. The Secretary cringed and said something along the lines of "Elders only. There are absolutely no children allowed. We'll be shooting guns and driving around cars and have fires." He hinted at things exploding.

So Drek left yesterday for the camp-out. I stayed home with Ash and fixed my clothesline and re arranged the furniture. I got to babysit my little niece for a few hours. She is only four months younger than Ash and they are good friends. I packed them in the bike trailer and went for a ride. One of them would laugh because the bike trailer is a fun ride and then the other one would laugh because the first one was laughing, and then the first one would laugh because the second one was laughing. It was a wonderful and very giggly bike ride.

After putting the babies to bed I stayed up way too late watching stand-up comedian routines. It's wasn't things exploding, but I still had fun.

Drek came back this morning with all his digits intact. He said they picked up a car and turned it to face a different direction. He also said part of his sock turned to powder. Hmmm...

It's Been Momentarily Misplaced...

2011-10-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

I found my keys; they were in my apron. They must have been there since the last yard sale. I also found ten dollars and a bunch of coins. Hooray!

Today I went to the zoo. I took a backpack filled with snacks and water. We saw a few animals:

I took my phone out to check the time. I rearranged a few things and we headed off again. While Ash was occupied at the playground, I searched for my phone once again. I could not find it. I searched through every pocket, dumped out all contents and repacked it, but there was no sign of my phone. I sighed, thinking it had to be by the gorillas. I was too lazy to walk back there, so we just came home.

During lunch I heard my phone ring. It was coming from my backpack. I quickly dumped everything out to find it. As it turns out my phone had buried itself in my bag of chips.

Mmmmm, cell chips.

And I Just Can't Wait Until Next Halloween Cause I've Got Some New Ideas That Will Really Make Them Scream

2011-10-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Oh, how I love October! I love Halloween, I love Halloween parties, music, movies, books, decorations, food, costumes and especially traditions! One of my (many) favorite Halloween traditions is painting pumpkins together as a family! We did it early this year because I'm SO excited for Halloween! Drek brought home pumpkins a few days ago and I went out and got some new paint supplies yesterday. Last night we listened to A Nightmare Before Christmas and sat around the table painting our pumpkins!

Here is Drek's:

Mine:

And Ash's:

They Pitched their Tents Round About the Temple, Every Man Having his Tent With the Door Thereof Towards the Temple

2011-10-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

We just finished a wonderful General Conference weekend! True to the form of King Benjamin, we set up our tent facing the prophet.

It was set up inside out living room, and by facing the prophet I mean facing the computer, but it worked out quite nicely:

I had a grand idea to live off of nothing but our 72-hour kits during the 48 hours of General Conference, but after the first two meals I discovered something starteling: MRE's are gross. Which is good to know. I now have a shopping list of what we need in our kits (things like forks) and what we need to replace (MRE's with edible food). Not that the MRE's aren't fantastic food storage, I just think if we are ever in need of our 72-hour kits, we'll want comfort food, not survival food.

I thought Conference was especially amazing this year, and the announcement of a second temple in Provo is particularly exciting! I can't wait for the talks to be uploaded to LDS.org so I can listen to them again!

Take it From an Old Spectator. Life's Not a Spectator Sport. If Watchin' is All You're Gonna Do, Then You're Gonna Watch Your Life Go By Without Ya

2011-10-01T15:19:00.000-07:00

Last night Drek took me to to live performance of Stephen Schwartz songs (isn't he the best?!). We've been on several live-theater dates before, but this one was definitively the most...odd.

Their performances were about what we expected; not professional, but fun and the variety of singers made it better. The songs were a little surprising: They sung almost every single song from Wicked (including As Long As Your Mine. I'm not going to lie, I love listening to that song, but watching it performed is...awkward. I had a hard time watching that scene when we went to go see the professionals perform Wicked. I had an ever harder time watching this performance. Why would you chose THAT song?) and had a huge chuck left over for Children of Eden. One song from Pippin, One song from Pocahontas, one song from Prince of Egypt, one song from Godspell, one song from Rags and one song from Hunchback of Notre Dame (Stephen Schwartz did Hunchback?!). So why did Schwartz do so many religious-themed musicals? Anyone know the history there?

But that wasn't the odd part. The odd part was the audience. It was clearly comprised of friends and family of the performers. There was a surprising number of cheers when certain people were on stage and even a few catcalls. When one girl finished a solo someone in the audience started selling her autograph.

During intermission, the theater sold plastic cups of wine and raffle tickets for an enormous bottle of vodka. The winner of the raffle and he broke open the bottle during the second half of the performance. Since most of the audience had those plastic cups left over, it was easy to share. Needless to say the audience during second half was a bit more rowdy than the first. I didn't realize an audience could be that vocal.

I think the audience cheered up the performers a bit: they were a lot more energetic during the second half than in the first. But really, I thought they did a good job in both. I highly enjoyed the night and liked all the performances.

Walking back to our car we saw a raccoon scamper across the street. Yeah, a raccoon. A real one. That was possibly my favorite performance.

Did You Make All These Things Yourself?

2011-09-28T13:04:00.000-07:00

It seems fixing up our house comes in waves. We'll do a lot, then nothing, then a lot, then nothing, then a lot. Or so it seems, anyway.

Drek had Friday off of work and was anxious to get some projects done around the house. I took Ash out for our normal Friday-morning activities. By the time we came back for Ash's nap, Drek had built shelves for his office and cleaned and organized his entire office. Ash took a nap while Drek went out to the garage and when Ash woke up I took her to the park. When we got back, a few hours later, Drek had built a table for the garage, installed a shelf in the garage, and organized and swept the entire garage. He also built me an actual clothesline.

I think the moral of this story is that next time, Ash and I will go to Vegas for three days and when we come home, Drek will have built a new house

Would You Like Some? Wait, Before You Answer That, Are You a Fan of Delicious Flavor?

2011-09-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

We met my parents in Vegas so we could celebrate birthdays! Once again, for my Dad's birthday, I attempted to make a Tunnel Of Fudge cake. I'm sure you all remember last year's debacle. This was my fourth year attempting to make this cake. I hoped to get it perfect.

I set up all the ingredients:

I read and re-read the recipe. I checked it several times while making the cake and even set the used ingredients to one side to make sure I added all of them (especially flour). I put the batter in the oven, crossed my fingers and...

Look! It looks like a cake! That was a very good sign.

Alas, I did not grease the inside circle of the bunt pan properly, so the cake didn't slide out as hoped. The outer circle slid out, but the inside circle stayed in. So the presentation of the cake was not perfect. I tried to hide that as best I could:

We sung "Happy Birthday' and cut the cake. To my delight, inside was a tunnel of fudge. It worked! I made a Tunnel of Fudge with an actual tunnel of fudge! Hooray!

It was delicious. Also, as a note, it is even better the day after, and even more delicious the day after that. Which is good, because this cake is so rich you can only eat a little bit at a time. So unless you have twenty people eating the cake, there will be leftovers. Delicious leftovers.

And next year I'm sure I'll get the presentation perfect. There's always next year...

Ten Oughta Do It, Don't You Think? You Think We Need One More? You Think We Need One More. All Right, We'll Get One More

2011-09-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a wonderful vacation! While there we had an adventure I thought I'd share:

Thursday night my parents were wonderful enough to put Ash to bed and stay with her while Drek and I had a night out on the town. And what better town than Las Vegas?! Out hotel was only a few miles away from the strip, so we took the hotel shuttle. It dropped us off at the Caesar's Palace and Drek and I walked next door to pay a visit to one of my favorite places in the world: in front of the Belagio at night, watching the fountains dance (To frank Sinatra's "Luck Be A Lady Tonight", but that part just makes it perfect, it's not critical).

This time, the song playing was "Proud To Be an American" and the fountains danced with power and height and oomph. What a grand sight.

We then decided that more than anything else in Vegas, we really wanted to see the Body World exhibit at the Luxor. So we walked all the way to the other end of the strip. The exhibit was amazing. I can't tell you how much I loved it. The first thing I looked at was a leg bone with a few muscles attached and had the word "tensor fascia lata" written on it. I was delighted. I haven't heard that word since school. I was immediately flooded with memories of my awesome anatomy class taught by my awesome anatomy teacher. Flooded with happy memories, I skipped over to the next display: the actual bones of the inner ear. I think I actually squealed. They are the smallest bones in the body and the first ones I memorized. I don't think I had ever seen them before. They are so tiny! And it just got better from there. Really, it was a magnificent experience. So worth it.

After we left the exhibit we walked all the way back down the strip. Once again we stopped in front of the Belagio and watched the fountains. This time they danced to Clare De Lune with grace and delicacy. It was beautiful. And so appropriate, since Drek and I had just watched Oceans 11 the night before. It's one of our favorites.

We rushed back to the shuttle stop with just a few minutes to spare. We boarded and to our surprise the shuttle was a lot more full than when we rode it before. Every seat was taken and almost everyone had someone on their lap. There were a few places where six people were crammed into two seats and there were even people sitting in the aisle. We sat in the aisle and then a couple got on behind us. The shuttle was packed.

Luckily, everyone was either in a very good mood, or drunk. People were laughing and making jokes, shouting out to each other and to the shuttle driver. It was a very lively ride back to the hotel. A perfect end to a wonderful date, and to a wonderful vacation.

And Called Us With an Holy Calling, Not According to Our Works, but According to His Own Purpose and Grace, Which was Given Us in Christ Jesus Before the World Began

2011-09-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

I like my calling. I teach the twelve and thirteen year old Sunday School Class. There are a few fourteen year olds in there as well. Usually I have fourteen people in my class, but if we have visitors it can be more. That is a lot of teenagers to have in one room, and I am not the best at keeping order. In fact, I'm really bad at discipline. But I'm working on it.

Here's the thing: As of December 31, 2010, there are 28,660 LDS wards and branches in the world. I have no idea how many of those wards and branches are English-speaking, but it is not a small number. Now, take into account that not all of those English-speaking wards have a twelve and thirteen year old Sunday School Class (because they are singles wards or just don't have the youth) and you are left with, what? It's got to be around 10,000 English-speaking teachers called to serve as their ward's twelve and thirteen year old Sunday School Class teacher.

One of the amazing things about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is how universal it is: Every twelve and thirteen year old Sunday school class teacher teaches from the same manual: The Presidents of the Church. There is even a lesson schedule, so all wards are on the same lesson, give or take a ward conference. Most teachers are called for more than one year, so they teach the same lessons multiple times, depending on how many years they have this calling. So, on any given Sunday, I'm guessing that there are around ten thousand people teaching the same lesson I am teaching, to the same age group I am teaching. Some with more experience than me.

The Internet is a wonderful thing. It connects all sorts of people. I'm thinking the Internet should connect me to those ten thousand people. Seriously, how is there not already a forum for us to be like: "I had a great idea for lesson 33!" or "I tried this with my class, but they did not take it well. I would suggest going with out the..." or "For this last class I did this and the kids responded so well!"

Is there something like out there? Please say yes. I so desperately need some help with my lesson plans.

Happy Birthday to You!

2011-09-17T14:20:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today, the best thing ever happened.

It changed my life completely, and made it so much better.

For two years now my life has revolved not around me, but around my little one.

And I wouldn't want to live life any other way.

Happy Birthday, my little princess!

I am so glad you are my daughter

and I am your mama.

As Advertised, Lots of Needles and Cold Exam Tables. I Heard You Had Some Excitement

2011-09-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

I got suckered into getting a tetanus shot this week. That was no fun.

I went to the doctor to get a prescription for an infection I have (unsuccessfully) tried to fight for an entire month. She was really nice, gave me the prescription and then asked when I had last been tested for TB.

"Never? Because I do not live in the eighteen hundreds?"

"Not even when you were pregnant?"

"No...does pregnancy give you TB?"

It was odd. She asked if I wanted to be tested. Again, what an odd question. Who answers yes?

And then she asked when I last had a tetanus shot.

"...Um, when I was ten? Maybe seven?' I thought about getting one when I was eighteen, does that count?"

She said that me getting a shot would help protect Ash. Grrr. I hate when herd immunity works against me.

So I let her give me the shot. And I was trying to be all cheerful about it because Ash was watching.

"Look! How fun! The nice nurse is going to give mama a shot! Hooray!" While whispering to the nurse: "Hey, so, I'm deathly afraid of needles so please don't let me see it, or I might pass out."

Good times.

The nurse warned me that my arm would hurt the day after. She was not kidding. I was also so very tired all of yesterday. That might have been because of the antibiotics, but last night I dreamed it was because my tetanus shot actually gave me tetanus. Luckily, that does not seem to be the case as I am back to normal energy levels today. Maybe It was TB.

It's Not Enough to Survive. One Must be Worthy of Survival

2011-09-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon the power went out. I didn't know how widespread the blackout was, so I thought I would hop in the car and drive over to Drek's work. Maybe we could hang out in his air-conditioned office for an hour, or maybe his power was out and he could come home early!

His work is only five miles away. It usually takes ten minutes to drive there. Traffic was much worse than normal (all the traffic lights were out) so when I got to Drek's office, thirty minutes later, and discovered his power was out and he had gotten a ride home, I was a little upset. It then took me forty minutes to make it back home. That was when I learned the blackout was widespread, and there was no timeline given to when power would be restored.

We realized we don't really have a functioning radio. Luckily, our awesome neighbors next door had their radio on outside and had the volume turned up really loud. We just opened out windows and could hear the news updates. but still, we might need to get our own radio. And also maybe a generator.

We ate a small dinner, went on a small bike ride, called my dad instead of Skyping him to wish him a happy birthday, and then looked around at each other. "What do we do now?" We couldn't watch another episode of my new obsession: Battlestar Gallactica, and our dinner plans were obviously cancelled. So how to keep ourselves entertained?

The blackout must have had an impact on our psyche, because it got a little barbaric: We went Caterpillar hunting.

These horned cattipilars were munching on our tomato plants without authorization. So we brutally tracked down seven of them, including what we hope was the ringleader, and made an example out of them to all the other catipillars still in hiding; we fed them to the chickens. I know it was extreme, but we couldn't be lenient; Desperate times and all that.

2011-09-07T12:40:00.000-07:00

I celebrated Labor Day by getting up early to go to the gym for a two hour Zumba class. I've only done Zumba once before. It was fun, so I thought signing up for another class would be fun!

It was only when I got there that I realized going from nothing to a two hour Master Zumba class might be a bad idea. Maybe.

But I had fun. Zumba is a lot of fun, and the teacher was hilarious. It was a great class. My knee did not have fun. The last time it hurt like that was the final three miles in my half marathon. My knee was angry.

But not as angry as my muscles are today. Three days later, I am mostly unable to walk. Ouch.

And yet, I'm hoping for another two hour master Zumba class.

Do You Realize What This Means? It Means Bankruptcy and Scandal and Prison! That's What It Means! One of Us is Going to Jail... Well, It's Not Gonna be Me!

2011-09-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

I lose things all the time. I lost my keys back in April. I still haven't found them. It actually worked out great because it was after I gave the apartment keys back to the landlord and before Drek gave me the keys to the new house. So I only lost my car keys. Actually, Drek still hasn't given me a key to the new house. He thinks I will lose it.

I love those front doors that have keypads on it, so you don't have to carry a key around. It's great, but not ideal. My dream home would have a voice recognition lock for the front door, so I don't have to have a key or fiddle with a code. I would come home and say "open." And the door would unlock and swing wide open for me. And the house would say "Welcome home, K La. You left your phone in the kitchen. You have three missed calls. Shall I call them back for you?"

That house would rock.

But that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is savings; In January Drek and I sat down to do some major budgeting. We decided get rid of all credit cards, only use debit cards for emergencies, and switch to a cash-in-envelopes system. I love this system. It has worked out well for us. The point was to make money a real, tangible thing; If you have the bills sitting in your hand you can spend them, but when it's gone, it's gone. At the start of each month I take the envelopes to the bank and withdraw cash to put in the envelopes and use the cash for the rest of the month. Our envelopes are labeled "Gas Money", "Groceries", "Water Bill" and such. My favorite envelope says "Cruise Fund" and it works like this: At the end of the month, if I have extra money in any of the envelopes, say because I was so good on my grocery budget, or we went under on our water bill, I take the extra money and put it into the "Cruise Fund" envelope. If I go over in any area, I have to take money out of the "Cruise Fund" envelope. The point being that at the end of the year, if Drek and I have saved enough money in our "Cruise Fund" envelope, we get to go on a cruise! It's a great incentive to stay within the budget and keeps me optimistic about future vacation plans.

Because this envelope gets the extra from all the other envelopes, it has a lot of one and five dollar bills in it. The envelope was getting quite fat because of this, so yesterday I decided to take it, along with all the other envelopes, with me to the bank, where I could get the smaller bills turned into bigger bills.

Mornings are always hectic and after throwing everything in the car and dropping Drek off at work, I went to the grocery store with our bank located inside. I grabbed all the envelopes and took them inside with me. The bank didn't open for another ten minutes, but I couldn't wait because I had to meet people at the park in ten minutes. I threw the envelopes back in the car and drove to the park. I was early, so I thought that I better sort the envelopes. It was then that I realized I was missing the "Cruise Fund" envelope, with all the cash that I had scrimped and saved over the last nine months still inside. I panicked.

I searched through the whole car. I drove back to the bank and looked around the parking lot and under cars. I went back inside and talked to the guy. I talked to the teller (the bank was now open). My envelope was nowhere to be seen and there was nothing I could do to reclaim the lost money. I described the envelope to the teller and explained what the money represented. She was very sympathetic and said she'd keep an eye out for it (or anyone depositing money from an envelope with with pink writing on it) but there was really nothing she could do.

I got back in my car and tried to calm myself down. After thinking things through, I decided to drive back to my house to see if the envelope had fallen out in the garage or on the way to the car. I went home and looked all over; no envelope. I then looked up where we keep all the envelopes and there it was: I had never taken it out of its spot.

I sighed a huge sigh of relief and very carefully took the envelope to the car. I drove back to the bank and took it up to the teller.

"You found it!" she cheered, when I showed it to her.

"Yes, Thankfully." I said. "Can I turn these into bigger bills?"

The teller looked at me and with a shy smile asked "Do you want to deposit it into a savings account? I'll keep it safe for you until the end of the year."

So that's what I did. It isn't keeping the Cruise Fund tangible, but it does keep me from losing it, and that's a bit more important right now. We'll still budget the exact same way, the only difference being that now I'm taking money out of the envelopes and handing it to a teller.

This Was My First Bus Ride

2011-08-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

This city needs to work on it's public transportation. Time to drive to a museum: Nineteen minutes. Time taking public transportation to museum: Three hours and twelve minutes.

Yikes.

We live on a dead-end dirt road. We are the second-to-last house on this dead-end road. The only cars that drive passed our house are the cars belonging to our neighbor. There aren't even any lost drivers, because it's much easier to turn around before you get to our house than after. I love this about our road. It's not a great location for yard sales, but it's fantastic for a quiet neighborhood.

Our neighborhood is also far from bus stops. It is highly impractical to ride the bus because of where we live. So i stared dreaming of biking everywhere we needed to go. Drek has a bike, and Ash has a tricycle, but I don't have a bike and Ash can't really ride her trike down the driveway, let alone down the road.

Last week my brilliant sister-in-law gave me a bike trailer. We hooked it up to Drek's bike and it worked wonderfully. Ash loves to ride in it, stays quiet no matter how long the trip is, and begs to go for more rides. The next day I looked up women's bikes on Craig's list. The day after that Drek and I were driving down our road and were surprised to see our neighbor had a bike in their front yard with a big "For Sale" sign stuck to it. We stopped the car, glanced over the bike and then asked "do they really think they are going to sell that bike? It's not like there is a lot of through traffic." And indeed, the only through traffic would be us and our neighbors. but apparently that was all they needed because we bought the bike. It works great, it looks awesome, and this week I hooked it up to the trailer, packed Ash inside and biked to the grocery store and back.

I'm so excited for our new mode of transportation. It is way better than a car and way better than walking. I got so excited about it that I've started planning on biking to the nearest bus station and taking the bus to places that are too far to bike. It's still not a great system, the buses really are a joke, but it does open up a few more possibilities.

I Think It's Brilliant! I Think It's Stellar! Uh, Apart From the One, Obvious, Tiny, Little Baby Little Hiccup... That I Don't Play a Musical Instrument. Yessir. A Tiny, Insignificant Detail

2011-08-25T15:32:00.000-07:00

When I was little, I thought the concept of a piano was so odd. Who came up with the idea of a piano? How did we go from banging on drums, to playing something as complex as a piano? Or a violin for that matter. I understand harps, but how did we get a guitar? Or a trombone?

I wondered if I got stuck in an alternate universe at the start of civilization, would I be able to reproduce any musical instruments? I don't play any. I've never studied music; Could I even make a basic drum? Would my drawings of the instruments I know inspire odd, hybrid types of instruments? Who invents instruments anyway? Why does music change every year, but the instruments stay the same?

Today I learned that there already are odd, hybrid types if instruments. For instance, here is something called a harp guitar:

And this is a Sousaphone:

I also saw an electric ukulele and got to play a keytar (The keytar I already knew existed as I got to see one played live a few years ago at a rock concert by Mutemath).

I learned that inventing musical instruments was a popular thing to do a hundred years ago and actually, still is a popular thing to do.

I think I should learn to play a harp guitar. I wonder if I can find a local teacher.

If Those are to be the First of Many Injuries to Come, it Would be Wise to Find a Suitable Excuse. Polo, for Instance. I'm Not Learning Polo, Alfred

2011-08-21T09:53:00.000-07:00

I have not attended many sporting events during my life. The ones I have attended have been... forgettable. I'm a fan of playing sports, just not watching strangers play sports.

But this sport was a lot of fun to attend. A truly unforgettable experience:

Polo.

Yup. Big hats, champagne, and duvet-stomps. It was so much fun.

Did you know each polo player has twelve horses? He switches them out during the game. I learned all sorts of fun things like that.

As fun as the game was to watch, the best part was that there was a bounce house for the kids. Nothing is more entertaining than watching toddlers bounce around it a cage. I need one of those for my backyard.

Yea, is this Another One of Your Little 'Projects'?

2011-08-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

When Drek and I were first married, we were given a card table and four folding chairs as a present. That table and chairs saw a lot of use. They became our kitchen table and chairs for almost two years. When I inherited an old table and several old chairs from my aunt and uncle, the folding table became our main game table.

The Table I inherited was awesome, but the chairs showed their age a bit more, I'm afraid. I tried to sand them and refinish them, but I was pregnant and then I had a newborn and then I couldn't do it outside because I would have frozen...blah blah blah. Drek said if I didn't finish the chairs by the time we moved out of Idaho, the chairs were not coming with us. I managed to finish two and a half chairs. They moved with us, the rest of the chairs did not.

A few months ago I found a dining table with eight chairs for sale on Craigs list. It was a great deal. I snatched it up because the table and chairs were in great condition, even if the chairs looked a bit...

Grandma-y. They looked like old people chairs. After quizzing my friends on the chairs, I finally decided to re-upholster them. I've never re-upholstered chairs before, and the last chair project turned out to be such a disaster that I was very hesitant. But I gathered advice, talked to my all knowing sister-in-law who has experience with such things, and decided to give it a try. I waited until we got a couch, so I could match the kitchen chairs to the couch, since there is no wall dividing them in our house. I picked out the fabric and after several days of procrastinating, I began my project. I striped off the chairs:

cut the fabric, attached the fabric (after Drek gave me a quick lesson on staple guns) then cut the plastic and attached the plastic. The last step was to re-attach the cushion to the chair:

old chair:

new chair:

I finished the whole thing in four hours.

This just may be the best project I have ever done. It turned out way better than expected. It turned out so well, I made a cake:

(ok, so the cake was a birthday cake for a friend, not for the chairs, but it was still a delicious cake)

I think this dining room set will last us quite a while. At least the next five years. And if we change the couched, now I know I can change the chairs to match!

You're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat

2011-08-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the beach with a Kayak and snorkeling equipment and the rumor that sometimes during this time of year you can see leopard sharks in certain areas.

Alas, I forgot the kayak paddle, so our ability to get to those "certain areas" was greatly impeded. We tried using raft paddles, but it was slightly ridiculous. So, after a bit we put on the fins and tried to swim the kayak. That didn't work out too well. Finally we gave up and tried to paddle back to the shore. When we got far enough in, I jumped out of the kayak so I could walk. It was just faster that way.

Unexpectedly, I jumped out and realized I was surrounded by half a dozen leopard sharks. And not the small ones I thought I would see, these ones were about two or three feet long! It was amazing. I couldn't touch one, but I was about a foot away. They were so beautiful! It was absolutely amazing.

They didn't stay very long, and it was hard to find them after that, but it was so worth the trip!

I Haven’t Seen One of those Since I Was a Webelos. What’s a Webelos? It’s Half Way Between a Cub Scout and a Boy Scout. And What Does a Webelos Do? Gets Badges, Mostly

2011-08-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

Two weeks I was given a calling in my ward: to teach the twelve and thirteen year old Sunday School Class. The man who offered me the calling said there were "only a few" kids in the class now, but there would be more in January. I paused. "Will I have this calling January?" I asked. He laughed and said I could count on being in this calling for a while.

Which is odd, considering for the last several callings I've accepted and then asked "Do you realize I am moving in four months?" But now we are not moving for several years. It was an odd sense of... permanence.

Anyway, I emailed the Sunday School President and asked the details of my class; how many kids, what were their names, when and where did we meet...

He emailed back that he had no idea I'd been called. He was glad, but surprised. He said I had eight kids in my class.

EIGHT? Eight is a lot.

So today was my first day teaching. I found the room and walked in. There were three boys inside, playing with a Rubik's cube. Then two girls came in. Then two more boys. Then another girl. Then three more girls.

Eleven. There are eleven kids in my class.

Actually, it went well. I think. You'd have to ask them. They like to talk, but once I started the lesson, they were very good at listening. They are fun, polite, and funny. I think the lesson went well.

I need to keep in mind that while the lesson is supposed to be an hour long, these kids socialize so much that I only have about fifteen minutes to teach them. Which is fine. I just need to simplify: get to the point and make it memorable. Period.

Meanwhile, Drek got called to scouts. He is a Webelo leader.

She Swallowed the Goat to Catch the Dog. She Swallowed the Dog to Catch the Cat. She Swallowed the Cat to Catch the Bird. She Swallowed the Bird to Catch the Spider that Wiggled and Wiggled and Tickled Inside Her

2011-08-12T12:10:00.000-07:00

For some much-needed family time, we decided to take a trip to the zoo in the middle of the week for no real reason. Just so we could be together. We walked down a delightful trail I had never seen before, and after an hour decided to stop for some dinner. I unpacked our food from my backpack and picked a table next to an animal enclosure. In the enclosure we could see a Forest Buffalo, happily munching on his own dinner:

We started eating. Ash dropped a crumb on the ground and a very small bird immediately flew down to grab it. Drek began tearing off small pieces of food and throwing it to the bird. Soon we had four birds eating on the ground next to our table.
"A mouse!" Drek cried in surprise, and sure enough, a tiny mouse had joined in the dinner party.
"A monkey!" I shouted, seeing a Swamp Monkey swoop over the enclosure and sit in the tree right above us. Drek thought I was kidding, until he saw it himself.
"A rabbit!" Drek laughed. This time, I thought Drek was kidding, but indeed a tiny bunny had come out of the bushes to eat with the birds and the mouse.
I tried to get a video of all of them, but the bunny was a bit shy:

After dinner was over, we walked around the enclosure and discovered that we were two otters eating on the other side of the fence from where we ate.

It's too bad they didn't poke their nose through the bushes to join the party. That would have been quite a sight.

No. I thought You Were Swans

2011-08-04T22:02:00.000-07:00

I got beaten up by a goose. No, really. A goose. A gander. An African fowl. It's true.

My awesome neighbor owned three geese. He is, sadly, moving, so he needed to sell his geese. When a guy came to buy them, my neighbor asked if I would catch the geese and put them in the boxes the buyer had brought so they could move to their new home. Of course I said yes. Who would turn down the opportunity to wrangle some geese?

And wrangle I did. I went after the male first. I cornered him fairly easily and grabbed him by the neck (the only advice I got from my neighbor). I then tried to pick him up in a sort of modified football hold, but in doing so he kicked my with his webbed foot. You wouldn't think a webbed foot would do much damage, but take it from me; don't underestimate the webbed foot. I did finally get him in the box and the two female geese were quicker, but once I caught them they were easy to put in their boxes. The buyer took them home, happy to have a birthday present for his daughter and my neighbor was thrilled to have the geese go to a good home. I'm thrilled to have them gone. Yes, I will miss the goose eggs (delicious and huge!) but it's nice to be able to carry on a conversation in the backyard. It's so much more peaceful now!

At first I had three giant claw marks on my arm from where the goose scratched me. The next day, I had three huge black and purple bruises appear, each surrounding the three scrapes. After a few days, the bruises turned yellow. They are finally vanishing, and the scrapes have healed, but for a while there it looked like I had been attacked by a tiger.

So next time you get in a fight with a goose, remember the thing to fear is not the beak, but the dreaded webbed foot.

Who's that? Who Else Would it Be? It's Me! Are... Are You My Conscience?

2011-07-29T15:23:00.000-07:00

I am very hard on me cell phones: I drop them all the time, I sit on them, I drop them in water... This results in me needing a new phone more often than normal people. This also results in an ever-changing contact list. Every time I get a new phone I lose phone numbers. Normal people would solve this by posting that they got a new phone and would everyone please text them so they can make sure they have every one's number, but since this is a regular occurrence for me, I just don't bother to tell anyone I've lost their number. Again.

I deal with it like this: I get a text from a number I don't have in my current contact list. The text is friendly and personable, so I know that the person texting knows me and thinks I know them. I just don't know who they are because I've lost their number. I love it when this happens. It has become a game: Can I figure out who they are without them knowing that I am trying to figure it out? So I'll send back a text, trying to get them to text me again, hopefully with clues about the person's identity. It looks something like this:

Them: "I'm visiting my mom for the weekend, are you free for lunch?"

Me: "Oh! How is your mom? When works for you?"

Them: "She's better than last time. Anytime works for me, I don't have a child to worry about."

Me: "Glad to hear she's better. And how are you? Anything new?"

Them: "Same old Same old."

Me: "Ha! Me too. Where do you want to go to lunch?"

Them: "We should go to that Indian place we went Freshman year"

Me: (Now that I finally have a hint I can be more specific in my questioning) "I thought you said that Indian Food always looks like it is going to crawl off your plate and eat you."

Them: "Ha! Kate said that, not me! I LOVE Indian food!"

Me: "Oh, yes. That was Kate. Well, I always have time for you, Liz, So call me the first day you are here and we will go out."

Them "Great! Can't wait to see you!"

Me (bwhahaha. I win) "you too!"

But sometimes I just never figure it out. Last week I got a text that said "Hey! I saw that there is a huge sand sculpture event going on in your state. I just wanted to let you and your family know in case you wanted to go!"

So, obviously the person knows me, and knows where I live. I texted back something like "That does sound like a lot of fun! Thanks so much!" And then they texted back something entirely generic. Alas, I had misplaced my phone before I could find out more about them, so I never did discover who they were. But, I did, in fact, go to the sand sculpture event. It WAS a lot of fun. So thank you, whoever you are. I'm sorry I've lost your number, you seem to know just what I think is a great way to spend an afternoon.

Has Anyone In This Family Actually Seen a Chicken?

2011-07-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

Having chickens has turned out to be thoroughly entertaining. We let them free range and they have been so good about staying in our yard and going back into their coop as soon as the sun sets. Drek feeds them leftovers from dinner, so now during dinner the chickens line up outside the sliding glass door and tap on the glass in an attempt to beg for food.

But the best was a few days ago: We had a four year old over at our house to play. I was around the corner with Ash when I heard a ear-shattering scream. It was as if he had just came face to face with the Grim (That's a symbol of Death that will eat your face off, for the Non-Harry Potter fans). I dashed around the corner and saw him pointing in terror. "Look!" he gasped "A Chicken!" and there, three feet away, was indeed, Juliette; happily pecking the grass.

I giggled. "Takes one to know one, kid." Alas, my quick wit was lost on him. But I'm sure Juliette thought it was funny.

Looks to Me Like an Illegal Salvage Operation. It Does? That's Discouraging

2011-07-21T18:59:00.001-07:00

Ok, This project actually turned out kind of well...

Behold:

Really comfy, very old and beat-up patio chairs.

When Rissy came to visit, we figured out how to remove the old fabric and theoretically install new fabric. She also became chief spray paint advisor and executive spray painter. Thanks to her, the painting went great. After that I was left with this:

Which I turned into this:

which became this:

It turned out so well, this evening my family sat out on our porch, enjoying our new patio set and eating homemade chocolate ice cream with the best homemade fudge sauce you have ever tasted. Ever.

Ok, so I didn't actually make the fudge sauce, but I did make the ice cream! Which is something I've never done before. And it was very delicious.

That Book Was Accidentally Destroyed Maliciously...

2011-07-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

In an impulse of self-pity, I decided if I can't adopt certain children, then I should foster kittens. I signed up with the Humane Society for more information, and after several emails, several forms and several weeks, I got a phone to come pick up my first litter!

These five baby kitties don't have a mother and aren't old enough to be adopted. Thus, for the next five weeks, I am their mother. I get to bottle feed them, teach them how to eat dry food, clean them (after every meal. They are so messy!) and love them.

They are SO CUTE. We have spots, stripes, solids, and the twins.

Kittens in books and on the internet are cute, but kittens in person are SO ADORABLE! I love them. And as soon as they are too old to be adorable, I can trade them in for new kittens!

Did You Hear the Helicopter Dropping Me Off That Night for Our Anniversary Dinner? No. Oh, Percussion Grenades. I was Partially Deaf That Evening

2011-07-17T12:37:00.000-07:00

Ideally, celebrating our wedding anniversary would be as big and daring as getting married. I want us to do things we've never done before! I want to get our adrenaline pumping! I want to watch the sunrise from a hot air balloon, hundreds of miles in the air. I want to ride tall and fast roller coasters or go hang gliding over a cliff. One year Drek and I went horseback riding up in the mountains, and that was wonderful. Two years ago I had scheduled us to go skydiving, but by the time our anniversary rolled around I was pregnant so we had to cancel. Last year we had something grand planned, but Drek was on a business trip on our anniversary and by the time he got back we had to move so we settled on a nice hike.

This year Drek and I talked about doing all those things. We finally decided to go snorkeling; something neither of us has done before. To facilitate this, Drek and I got each other an inflatable Kayak as an anniversary present. Well, in the tradition of our anniversary plans, the snorkeling didn't work out, but we still had a kayak!

We took it out on the ocean for the first time yesterday. It was perfect beach weather. It was warm, the ocean was clear and for the first time since we moved here, the water was warm!

The only drawback was that the ocean wasn't exactly welcoming kayaks. The waves were huge and seemingly endless. It wasn't a matter of getting over the waves and into flat ocean, there was always one more wave to get over, each one bigger than the last!

Due to a miscommunication about when were actually taking the kayak out onto the ocean, Drek and I left our lifejackets back on the beach and I was still wearing a dress over my swimsuit. We had a limited amount of time, so we decided to go out anyway and I slipped off my dress and dropped it in the bottom of the kayak.

We headed out into the waves. The thrill of a huge wave crashing toward you, trying to head into it as straight as possible and then falling down the other side; it was so much fun! We got out pretty far before Drek said he didn't feel comfortable going farther without our lifejackets. Right after a wave hit we turned the kayak around as fast as we could. The first wave hit and we rode it a little ways towards the shore. And then the second wave hit: It threw the back of the kayak over the front of the kayak and Drek and I tumbled out into the deep blue ocean. I dropped the paddle I was holding and swam for the surface. As soon as I came up I saw Drek, still holding faithfully to his paddle. The kayak was flipped over and the waves were taking it back to shore for us. I tread water for a few seconds before realizing Drek was standing up and the water was only came up to my shoulders. We laughed and retrieved my paddle. We tried to body surf on the waves but mostly ended up going under most of them. We made it back to shore and the only casualty was my dress, which I'm sure has been picked up by a dolphin by now.

We had a blast. I can't wait to take it out again! It's not as dangerous as skydiving, but it still got our adrenaline pumping! And now that we have a kayak I'm sure we'll be able to go snorkeling sometime soon.

Good Morning? You're Bellatrix Lestrange, Not Some Dewey-Eyed Schoolgirl!

2011-07-14T13:04:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am one of those nerds who goes to midnight premieres or movies and book releases dressed as a character. I've done it several times, not just for Harry Potter, but for Lord of the Rings, X-men... It goes great with my personal motto: Any excuse to throw a party.

And what a party it will be. I have a ticket to the 12:01 am showing of the last Harry Potter movie. I'm going dressed up as Bellatrix, I'm going with Moaning Myrtle and Tonks.

In the last two weeks I've watched all the Harry Potter movies except the last one, which will watch in line tonight.

I'm very, very excited.

Ash isn't going, but she did wear this shirt today:

It was made my my super-artistic friend. Not only do I love the shirt, but it's good to know that there are people out there just as excited as I am.

The Pressure is Three Tons Per Square Inch, Enough to Crush Us Like a Freight Train Going Over an Ant If Our Hull Fails. These windows are Nine Inches Thick and If They Go, It's Sayonara in Two Microseconds

2011-07-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

For Christmas last year, in an effort to give more "time" and less "stuff", I gave Drek a Groupon to go on a scuba diving adventure for two!

I will spare you the details of the horrible company giving the scuba tours, the nightmare of scheduling, the lies the owner told and the overall problems and skip right to the good part:

Saturday Drek and I left Ash with a babysitter and drove down to the bay. Thanks to no traffic, we arrived an hour early and spent it hanging out, just the two of us. It was wonderful.

Right on time our instructor arrived with all the equipment. We suited up (scuba diving wet suits are thick. Thick wet suits are very HOT!) learned a bit about the gear, and then wore the gear. Here is a fun fact for you: Those oxygen tanks are not light. They are heavy. VERY heavy. We then walked across the park, across the beach, and finally, into the water. That was just about the hardest walk of my life. I do not think I am built for backpacking trips.

We got in the water and swam around a bit. The instructor took us down one by one to give us our safety test (water in mask, air running out, loosing your air hose). Drek passed in one minute flat. And then it was my turn. Before we went down I had her explain how to surface one more time. I don't know why, but I have an irrational fear of submarines. I really can't stand stories about the bends or lungs exploding because a diver surfaced too fast. Things like that really freak me out of some odd reason. I've always wanted to go scuba diving, but at the same time, I was very nervous I wouldn't be able to handle it. But the instructor was very nice, explained it one more time and said "just don't go faster than your air bubbles." And then we dove.

As soon as we started diving my ears decided they didn't like it. I panicked. I motioned to go back up and then promptly forgot how to go back up. I inflated my air vest to surface (a huge no-no) and shot to the top. Since we were only ten feet under, the air in the vest didn't really matter that much, but I had the instructor walk me through surfacing one more time so I wouldn't do it again. I also explained the problem with my ears. She said some people are affected more than others, but I might just have to get used to it. She showed me a trick she thought might help, and then we went down again. We dove to about twenty five feet.

Ow. Just ow. Sure it was cool that I was underwater, and even cooler that I was breathing underwater, but my ear was EXPLODING. Even underwater, that is not pleasant. But I tried her trick and it did make it hurt less so I tried to ignore it as I did the tests. I did fine and she signaled to go back up. We started swimming toward the surface, but I was terrified of going too fast and kept stopping to watch my air bubbles and push all the air our of my lungs. When I finally surfaced she commented "Did you get lost on your way up?" Which made me realize that I was being a bit ridiculous. We were not deep sea diving. I could swim faster than I have ever swam and still be fine. With that fear abated, we went and got the rest of the group to go on an adventure!

We were in a cove that wasn't very deep, the deepest we went was for the tests. I think after that we were only ten to twenty feet down. The bottom was all silt and visibility wasn't that great, but were there more for the experience rather than the sights. Even so, it was pretty cool. We saw giant bright orange fish, silver purple fish, teeny tiny shining fish and even a few black spotted fish. Drek saw a sting ray. That is so cool.

But the best thing for me was that I was breathing underwater. I loved it. I wish I would have stopped swimming for a bit and just floated there for a while, just to take it in, but I was too excited and didn't want to miss seeing anything. I was SCUBA DIVING! It was awesome.

An hour later we climbed out. I was freezing, but the weather was perfect and as soon as I took of the wet suit the sun warmed me right up. For the next two days my ears kept popping and every so often they would scream with shooting pain, but I think I'm passed that now. I want to go again. I want to go in a coral reef or some place with crystal clear water. I want to go where the water is warmer and the dive is a bit deeper. Although, in all honesty, I was grateful for the shallow dive for my ears' sake. Also, I'm still a bit nervous about my lungs exploding.

I hope Drek had a good time. Merry Christmas, Drek!

Dear Diary: Today I was Pompous and My Sister was Crazy. Today we were Kidnapped by Hill Folk, Never to be Seen Again. It was the Best Day Ever

2011-07-09T14:51:00.000-07:00

I love our new house. We live down a dirt road, we own chickens, and we have three awesome neighbors. We have such awesome neighbors that just assumed everyone around here is awesome. We have a neighbor to the left, an neighbor to the right, a neighbor behind our backyard, and I thought that was it. I thought wrong.

Yesterday I walked down our dirt road to take our trash cans to the curb. An older gentleman was walking toward us. He carried four grocery bags. When he saw me he called out "Do you own a gray cat?"
"No", I answered. "We only have chickens."
"Is that scrawny red one yours? That keeps coming into my yard, too. She lays eggs in my yard all the time."
"Kate?! Kate lays eggs in your yard? She's not mine, but she wanders into my backyard all the time. I've been trying to get to her to lay an egg in a nesting box I made for her. Where do you live?"
"Right here." He pointed to the end of the dirt road. I was surprised: Not only did I not know we had a neighbor I hadn't met, but I had no idea there was a house back there. He introduced himself and I introduced me and my little one. As it turns out, he was just returning home from walking to the grocery store (one point four miles away). Naturally thinking he was another one of our awesome neighbors, and curious about this hidden house of his, I offered to help carry his groceries. He declined, but asked if we wanted plums. He said he had a plum tree that needed harvesting. I jumped at the chance and he led us down the dirt road, behind our neighbor's house, where the road dead ends at a padlocked fence. He undid the padlock and led us into his lot, all the while explaining that his father built this house and he moved here after his father died, about twenty years ago.

It was at this point; as we walked across the dirt lot toward a small, hand built, serial-killer-looking homestead, and passed several rusting, broken down, serial-killer-looking sheds, that I realized the dusty, sun-baked lot was bordered by huge green trees. There was no grass, no flowers, no car. The house and sheds were so broken down, that even if they were spotted them through the trees, they could easily be mistaken for abandoned. No wonder I didn't know this house existed. A part of the lot shared a fence with my own backyard and yet, I never thought anything was back here.

"I'll just go inside and grab you a bag," he said. "The plum tree is over there, next to the almond tree."

"K la," I said to myself. "This may be the most dangerous situation you have ever gotten yourself into. Definitely not your smartest move." I looked back across the barren lot, wondering how fast I could run with a baby on my hip if things turned bad. I held my breath and listened for calls for help, screaming, or scratching coming from the abandoned sheds. I confirmed there was, in fact, a plum tree with lots of ripe plums needing to be picked, but that didn't mean this guy wasn't planning on locking me and my baby in one of his sheds for the next twenty years. If I didn't know he lived back here, did anyone else? How would anyone possibly find us? And then I thought that perhaps I should have read the book Room. A book like that would come in handy if I found myself locked in a shed for twenty years. I resolved to move it to the top of my "to-read" list if I got out of this mess. Just in case.

I nervously looked back toward the house, waiting for him to come back out with a bag. Was this guy dangerous? Was I overreacting? Kate came over here all the time to lay her eggs and if she felt safe, how bad could he be? But she is, after all, just a chicken, and chickens aren't known for their brilliance. I wondered if I should just leave, and then tried to balance being polite with being safe. I decided to stay: He was really old. I could totally take him as long as he didn't have a weapon.

He came out with a bag, handed it to me and thanked me for taking the plums off his hands. He said he needed to put his groceries away so he went back into the house. I picked plums until the bag was full, at which time he wandered back outside. I thanked him profusely and said I would make him some plum bars. He said he'd follow me out to lock the gate behind me.

And that was that. I went home with my little one and enjoyed the most delicious plums I have ever tasted. And now we have four awesome neighbors. I wonder if there are any more hiding around here.

President Eisenhower Celebrates 40th Wedding Anniversary. Not Pictured: Mrs. Eisenhower

2011-07-07T19:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Anniversary to us! Drek and I were married four years ago today. I love my husband. He is the best guy ever. I have loved every minute I have been married to him.

To celebrate, I decided to clean out my purse a bit: we had gift cards to Bed Bath and Beyond, given to us four years ago as a wedding present, that we had yet to spend. After our wedding Drek and I only had a tiny apartment and we knew we would be moving several times before we finally settled into a house. We didn't want to spend our gift cards on fixing up a transitional apartment, so we saved them up. Well, here we are, four years later, in a house that needs some decorations!

I got new sheets for our bed, new pillows, and a new bed spread. I'm quite delighted that everything we wanted was on clearance and our bedroom now looks so modern! So thanks, everyone whose gift cards we used!

Maybe next year I'll get around to using the Victoria Secret gift cards I got at my bridal shower...

There You Go, Thinking You're All That, But You are Not as Charming as You Think You are, Sir. Yes, I Am.

2011-07-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

Ah, the Fourth of July. A Day when we celebrate this great country and the great heroes it has seen. How do we celebrate? With exploding fire.

We had a wonderful barbecue at a friend's house and drove home just after sundown to but the baby to bed. Five minutes from home, a beautiful display of fireworks went off in perfect view. Drek pulled the car over and we watched the celebration. It was beautiful.

At the conclusion of the finale we started the car and pulled back onto the main road. Suddenly we were surrounded by hundreds of pedestrians and lots and lots of cars. Instant traffic jam! We quickly jumped into the left had turn lane, deciding it was the quickest way out of the mess.

From the moment we got into the turn lane all traffic stopped moving. Not even the lanes going straight moved, but the baffling part was that the left turn lane wasn't moving. There were breaks in oncoming traffic, there were breaks in the masses of pedestrians crossing the street, but the car in the front of line did not even attempt to turn.

We waited. And waited. And theorized on why we weren't moving. Did the car break down? Was he dead drunk? Could he not see in the dark? Did he think now was a good time to take a nap?

We discussed one of us jumping out and directing traffic. I decided that while I was impatient enough, I was not brave enough. Other cars in line honked their horn, trying to get the front car to move. We honked our horn. Still, the front car didn't budge. At last I opened the door and jumped out. I had a much better view of the car at the front of the line, but I didn't want to leave my car, I just reported back to Drek.

"Go tell the car in front to move." Drek told me. But again, I wasn't brave enough.

A guy walk passed me. "I'll go see what's up." He informed me. He walked up to the front window of the car and talked for less than ten seconds. He then jumped into the middle of the road and directed traffic. He got our whole turn lane out of there in less than thirty seconds.

That guy is my American Hero.

I Was Taking a Walk With Scott and Steve, and I Was Like, Dude, Who are Scott and Steve?

2011-07-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

Meet the girls:

She's got a bit more white feathers, making her blond. She is the hardest one to catch: very fast, good at hiding and quite smart. She seems to be a bit of a loner, uncomfortable with the rest of them. She's the only hen I have to pick up to put back in the coop at night.

Her name is Juliette.

She's got a white tail feather. She is very quiet and loves to sneak around behind backs. I think she is very conniving.

Her name is Sun

She's a redhead. She's loud, the last one to do everything and I don't really like her all that much.

Her name is Charlotte.

She is the adventurer. She was the first in the coop, the first to explore, and the first out of the house in the morning. She bosses the other ones around and does not take orders from anyone.

Her name is Anna Lucia.

What? Firefly doesn't have enough females.

Remember, You are the Dreamer, You Build This World

2011-06-30T14:14:00.000-07:00

How to build a Frankencoop:

Step 1: Find a structure resembling a deep bookcase by the side of the road with a "free" sign attached. Take it home.

Step 2: Find cabinet doors and hinges by the side of the road with a "free" sign attached. Take them home.

Step 3: Find a discarded wooden pallet next to dumpster. Take it home.

Step 4: Find free chicken wire. Staple chicken wire to the bookcase to make the floor.

Step 5: Attach cabinet doors with the hinges. Attach laminate left over from previous floor project.

Step 6: Set up chicken yard by using a dog kennel the previous owners left in your backyard.

Step 7: Set up coop around the kennel by making legs out of wooden pallet. Make sure the whole thing is secure with chicken wire, lattice, cinderblocks and bricks, or whatever else you happen to have lying around.

Step 8: Make nesting boxes out of 5 gallon buckets, padding and fresh cut grass.

Step 9: Add ramp:

Step 10: Add chickens:

What About Dinner? Kronk, This is Kind of Important. How About Dessert? Well, I Suppose There's Time For Dessert

2011-06-19T12:46:00.000-07:00

I love dessert. I love eating them, I love making them. Life is much better with dessert.

For Father's Day, I wanted to make Drek Cherry Cream Crepes, but cherry pie filling is expensive and packed with red dye 40 and High Fructose Corn Syrup. So I took a deep breath and plunged into the unknown: Homemade cherry pie filling.

Oh, it is awesome. It is both simple and delicious. It has fresh cherries, corn starch and lemon juice. I used Xylitol instead of sugar. The texture was perfect, the taste was yummy.

The crepes were also delicious:

But that was only lunch. After dinner, we needed dessert! We had my good friend Bonnie and her son over for Dinner. We were celebrating. Jordi's birthday. He is sixteen. SIXTEEN!! I was taking care of that kid when he was five. I remember is cute little round face, his love for everything Thomas the Tank Engine, his silly laugh and his endless question.

But now he is sixteen, driving, and is old enough to request dessert. He didn't really want cake. He likes tropical fruits like Mangoes and he likes pudding. So I created a two mango-strawberry-coconut trifle.

It was a masterful creation. Most delicious. I made vanilla cake from scratch for the cake part. As soon as I finished it occurred to me that coconut cake would have been a better choice. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to make dessert again tonight...

Time for Some Thrilling Heroics

2011-06-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

When I was seventeen I worked as a lifeguard at at water park. One day this little boy (I'm going to guess around ten years old) went off the rope swing, got scared, clung to the rope, and thenlet go of the rope at the exact wrong moment. He hit his face on the cement and then fell back in the water. I jumped in and with my year of experience, pulled off an underwater spinal save. That part was fine. The scary part was coming to the surface and seeing that the kid's whole face was covered in deep, dark, gushing blood. The blood was all over him, in the water, and just kept gushing. When he coughed, the blood oozed out of his mouth.

The water park's EMTs pulled the kid out of the water, rushed him away, and I was given a nod of approval. Later I was told the kid was just fine; it was only a mouth injury.

I think of that as my big calamity situation; as gruesome, but with a happy ending. Up until today, that was my crisis situation: I may have been scared, but I handled it with composure, calm, and correct action.

Until today, when my little toddler fell off a swing and landed on her face. I picked her up and to my horror, saw that blood was already gushing out of her mouth and down onto her shirt. I knew in an instant it was a mouth wound, that it would bleed a lot but be just fine, that there was no risk of a spinal injury and certainly no risk of drowning. I didn't need to jump in and save her, simply calm her down and eventually clean her up, but I was terrified. This wasn't some random ten year old, this was my child, my baby. I have never been more scared in my whole life. I have never felt more guilty. I have never felt more helpless.

Outwardly, I calmly picked her up and carried her to my friend's house. I waited for the bleeding to stop then cleaned her up examined the wound. I took her home and rocked to sleep before I called her pediatrician who confirmed what I already knew: I had done the right things and there was no reason to bring her in because they couldn't do anything for mouth injuries.

And now she has a swollen a lip and a bruised face. It looks awful, but she seems ok. I hope she will recover quickly and forget the whole experience. I hope I am the only one traumatized by this experience.

Listen. We'll Either Die Free Chickens or We Die Trying. Are Those the Only Choices?

2011-06-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

Drek and I are building a chicken coup. I'm very excited. We should have chickens by the end of the month.

We already have one chicken...sort of. She runs around from one backyard to the next. No one owns her. She's free and doesn't really have a place to call home. I named her Kate.

A few days ago I discovered Kate had laid two eggs in random places in our yard! Delighted, I decided to make a nesting box for her so she could have a proper place to lay her eggs (and so I could collect those eggs). I also got her some water and some food:

Voila. A chicken trap. Except I'm not really trying to trap her, I'm just hoping to get some eggs out of her. I'm also hoping that she'll join our little coup as soon as we have one. Maybe she'll be able to call it home.

I'm a Damsel, I'm in Distress, I Can Handle This. Have A Nice Day

2011-06-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

Drek is away on a business trip. He come home today. I'm so glad. I do not like it when we are apart. I find I need him more and more. He is so wonderful.

On the day he left, after he was gone I climbed into the shower to see this on the wall:

Awwww. Best husband ever.

Also on the day he left I came out to the kitchen to find a GIANT spider on the floor. GIANT. I freaked out and dropped a plastic cup over it. And then I froze. I decided to just leave it there until Drek came home:

But two days later I realized I was avoiding the kitchen and developing an unhealthy fear of red plastic cups. So I took Charity's advice and used a long vacuum attachment to suck up the spider out from under the cup. It worked great. That is, until I kept vacuuming and accidentally sucked up a small thumb drive. I can't just get it out of the vacuum because there is also a spider in there. So that will just have to wait for Drek.

See how much I need him?

This Will Be a Day Long Remembered

2011-06-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

Welcome to another edition of "K La's crafts: What NOT to do "

I am not a crafty person. I really don't know why I am so craft-challenged. Perhaps it is my short attention spa...hey look, Darth Vader at Disneyland!

What was I blogging about? Oh yeah:

A while ago we bough a little Radio Flyer tricycle from a yard sale for two dollars. It looked old and rusted, but in surprisingly good shape. I discovered later that what looked like rust, was actually gold spray paint. I guess someone didn't move the trike out of the way when undergoing a craft project of their own.

I wanted to make it look a bit nicer. So I decided to take on a craft.

Step One: Tape it up. This is always a must for me because I am so messy with spray paint. It gets on me, it gets on the grass, it gets on a passing squirrel, it finds its way into the smallest crack in my tape job:

Step Two: Spray Paint. I went to the hardware store in search of spray paint that would both stop rust, and make the trike shiny and new-looking. I found spray paint that promised to do just that. Alas, the colors were limited so I picked silver. Because silver and chrome are the same color, right?

Tip: Silver and chrome are not the same color.

Step Three: Remove tape. It turned out ok. Silver spray paint managed to work it's way onto some red areas, and it looks more retro than shiny, but I do think it's an improvement.

I Will Give You One Hundred Pounds to Save This Man's Life. Madame, I Would Pay One Hundred Pounds Just to See Him Hang.

2011-06-05T16:28:00.000-07:00

Community Yard Sales have become my new favorite thing. And it just so happens that they are pretty popular here in Sun Land. Hooray for me!

Why do I like them so much? It's just more fun to buy things at yard sales. Part of it is that buying things other people don't want anymore is a form of recycling, so I'm saving the planet, some of it is that everything is so inexpensive, so I don't feel so guilty about spending money, but I think a lot of it is the treasure hunt and the social interaction. I also find the money aspect so interesting. If you charge too much, people don't even try to bargain. If you charge too little, people think the item is worthless.

In a way, I think people at yard sales are only pretending to ask for money; they don't want the item anymore, to them, it is junk. If you don't buy it, they will throw it away. But if they don't ask put a high enough price on the item, no one will value it enough to take it home.

Yesterday I went to a community yard sale and found the treasure of a brand-new still-in-package boogie board. The sign said twenty-five dollars. I offered ten to the middle-aged women drinking iced-tea in the shade of a giant umbrella." At that point, she knew I wanted it, and I found out later she was desperate to get rid of it (so she wouldn't have to ship such an awkward item to her son). But she had to ask for something. She countered with twenty, I offered twelve. She agreed, but then didn't have enough change. We both shrugged; I didn't care if it cost me one dollar more, and she didn't care if she earned a dollar less. so I ended up paying thirteen and we were both happy.

I was not alone in my treasure hunt. My good friend, Jen, went with me. We finished up and decided to stop at one last sale. As I was still climbing out of the car I heard Jen shriek and rush across the driveway toward a very old and very small box. Apparently it was an old game that Jen played with her Grandma. The game was no longer made and Jen had been looking for it for several years. She recognized it immediately from all the way across the yard. The women selling the game was delighted she had helped out and was even more delighted to make a dollar and get rid of some clutter. See? Everyone wins! Maybe that's why I like yard sales: Happy endings all around.

If this Keeps Up his Hand is Literally Dead Meat. His Hand is Connected to His Arm; His Arm is Connected to... I'm Not Sure, But I Bet It's Important

2011-06-03T14:01:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge in believer in people taking charge of their own health care. I think people should memorize what prescriptions they have taken and should know everything about what they are currently taking. I think people should have their own copies of their own medical records. Sure, doctors are smart and educated, but they aren't magic. I think we need to help doctors to help us.

I think I should take my own advice.

Four years ago I went to a doctor to get some issues worked out. She gave me a cream.

Now, four years later, I am in a situation where I think that cream would help. I know my body well enough to know that it helped last time, that this is a very similar situation, so I wanted to use that same cream again. And yet, I didn't remember the name.

I googled it, but I couldn't find the name or the brand, only the type of cream. Still, I got some good, very general information: I need a prescription.

I hoped my last doctor could just re-write the prescription, even though I am in a different state now, and it has been four years. This doctor had moved offices in the last four years, so she didn't have my medical records and, sadly, Neither did I, but I held out hope that she would remember me.

I called up that doctor's office and spoke to the receptionist, who has his own God complex. After three phone calls over a one week period, I finally realized there was no way he was going to let speak with this doctor unless I agreed that it was a phone consultation and paid $120.

I asked my child's pediatrician if he would write a prescription for me, he said no, but gave me a phone number for another doctor who might. She wouldn't give me a prescription either, unless I did lab tests.

I finally asked my insurance for a local doctor who could help. They found me one and I made an appointment with a local doctor for a check-up. After a mountain of new-patient paperwork, and a check-up, I asked for a prescription for the cream. Although she was very willing to write one for me, she didn't know what I was talking about. I tried to describe it to her, but even after a phone call to the pharmacy we still didn't know the name of what I wanted. If I didn't know what I wanted, how was she supposed to know?

Defeated, I went home. I tried calling my old doctor again, but the office isn't open on Friday. On a whim, I decided to use Google Images to see if I could recognize a picture.

It worked! I did recognize it!

It's over-the counter. It costs $15 on Amazon.

And I am an idiot. Well, lesson learned. I hope.

Humans Would Put Seeds in the Ground, Pour Water on Them, and They Grow Food - Like, Pizza!

2011-05-31T21:36:00.000-07:00

Remember back in April when I planted a tomato plant in a global bucket? This was then:

This is now:

This gardening thing really works, people.

If you buy plain Spagnum Peat Moss and a bag of Perlite instead of the fancy pre-mixed stuff, it's much, much less expensive. We got it down to less than three dollars per global bucket.

After a few weeks of seeing our tomato plant grow, we decided to plant a few more buckets. And then a few more. And then a few more. I planted two more yellow squash plants today. Currently, we have ten global buckets, one tomato plant in a normal bucket full of backyard dirt (which is doing well) and one small normal bucket full of special dirt and herb seeds. We also have a garden that we actually planted in the ground in our backyard. Crazy, I know, but we are forward thinkers in this household.

We have Cauliflower in a Global Bucket:

and potatoes in the ground. The potatoes are doing amazingly well. I am thrilled for our potatoes.

Our cucumber plant is also doing well in the ground. I am excited for it to grow a cucumber because I recently discovered that cucumbers can be called "cukes" and I would like to try this out.

Our row of onions:

Baby tomatoes that will one day grow into a my tomato basil soup.

Toddler tomatoes growing on our tomato plant-in-a-normal-bucket.

We also planted an avocado tree (not in a bucket) and will plant a few more trees in a few more days. I'm hoping to get some raspberry bushes in this year, but we'll see. It's a work in progress.

Uh Oh. Two Independent Thought Alarms in One Day. The Students are Overstimulated. Willie! Remove All the Colored Chalk From the Classrooms

2011-05-25T18:57:00.000-07:00

The first time I walked through this house I found a small mystery in the laundry room. Besides the scary carpet, broken desk, the hole in the ceiling and the trash that had been left behind, part of the wall had been boarded up. Looking behind the boards we found exposed pipes for a washing machine. Why had they covered this up? Was the piping illegal? Were they afraid it would explode? Was it a secret door to another dimension? Some questions never got answers.

After a bad paint job, where they painted around the boards before they removed the boards, we finally took possession of the house and moved in. This was in the laundry room:

I took that board, turned it upside down, removed the rusty nails and drug it outside:

I washed it off and then painted it with a base coat:

And then I painted one side with chalkboard paint:

After fixing up the laundry room, I moved the board back in:

and added some chalk!

Ash loves it! She spent ten whole minutes today enthralled in her art. It was an easy project for me, and since the base paint (half a can found in the back of our new garage), chalkboard paint (Mandy let me use her leftovers), and chalk (after my last post I had two people give me their unwanted chalk!) was all free, this project only took time, not money. Plus the scary board got transformed into something useful instead of ending up in a landfill! Those are the best kind of projects.

Daddy Says It's Only For Emergencies. This is Definitely an Emergency

2011-05-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

It's May 23! Thus ends my self-imposed non-consumer store/shopping ban.

Last month I decided to celebrate Earth Day by saying that for one month, I could not buy anything new (besides food) from a store. The point was to take a stand against our out of control spending culture, help the earth, save money, and really try to value the things I buy. If I don't value it, if I don't NEED it, then don't buy it!

So here is my report:

What I didn't buy:
A clothesline. I needed one right away. Instead, I did this. It was awesome. It was a good choice. Happy feelings, everyone!

A couch. We don't have one. We need one. We have abundant space for one. I can justify buying a couch. I will value a couch. Alas, I couldn't buy one new and I haven't found a used one I like. Also, at the moment, there just isn't money for a couch. If I could have bought one new, it would have gone on my credit card and right now I need the money than I need the couch. I'm glad I had my shopping ban. It saved me from a not-so-great credit card debt. I will buy one, hopefully used, when I can afford it. Patience. I don't need everything right now.

An oven. Again, I need the money more than I need the item. I'm glad I had my shopping ban. It's so much more fun this way. Not buying an oven and not having a stove paved the way for a little creativity, and re-using other appliances. In fact, today I am learning how to make an entire meal in nothing but a crock pot. Necessity is the mother of invention. And from that invention, I'm thinking I can hold off buying an oven/stove for a few years at least.

Chalk. I'm not finding used chalk anywhere. I made Ash a chalkboard, and I want chalk to go along with it. It's a valid purchase. I've made up my mind about it and can justify the cost ( I'll scrounge some coins). Now that my month is up, I will go buy some new chalk from the dollar store.

Stuff off of Amazon. This may be the first month in over a year that I haven't bought anything off Amazon, Ebay, or Half.com. Amazing!

Impulse stuff. It seems that every time I go to a store I impulse-buy something ridiculous. But, since I didn't go into the store, I didn't see anything I didn't need and I wasn't tempted to buy junk. Hooray!

What I did buy:
Food. I also bought the ingredients to make laundry soap, but I considered that part of my food shopping as I bought it in a grocery store.

Home repair stuff from Home Depot and Lowes. In my defence, I didn't buy it, Drek did. But we did make several trips and bought several things. Yes, it was cheating. Yes, I'm sure there were ways around it, but I didn't care that much and Drek really didn't care at all.

Clothes. I hit the jackpot on Saturday when I arrived (at 7am!) to a garage sale with baby clothes. The price: $1 a grocery bag and you could stuff in as much clothes into one bag as you liked. My only restriction was the amount of clothes she had available to buy. It was awesome. I only spent $2, but I got LOTS of clothes. At another garage sale I found two new dresses for me and some new shirts for Drek. $1 total. And that's why I love garage sales.

A toddler bed, a tricycle, ladders, cabinets, a garage work table, a set of bath toy alphabet foam letters, school work books, cabinets, DVD's, horseshoes... All from yard sales. All for super, super cheap. All of them have some funny or happy story about the person I bought it from. All bring a smile to my face. Did I need all of that stuff? No. Actually, sometimes I only bought it because the price was so awesome ($1 for a DVD! They had all the Harry Potter movies! It only cost me $6! I was going to spend that much renting them from RedBox when we had our Harry Potter movie marathon leading up to Harry Potter 7.5!) So, not so great on the "valuing what I buy" front, and terrible on the minimalism front, but I did buy them used, from a yard sale. The items are being loved and used rather than thrown in a landfill, and the money went to real people (awesome people) instead of mean corporations. I paid in cash, so no debt was accrued, and like I said, each one was a great shopping experience.

Probably the best one was when Drek and I stopped at a yard sale a few blocks from our house. They were selling an extension ladder, which Drek had wanted to buy at Home Depot, but wasn't willing to pay the $175 for it. Drek asked how much, the guy said $50, and Drek said sold. He went home to get the cash and left me with instruction so see if I could also get the dolly (marked at $50), the horseshoes and the tricycle. I went into full haggling mode: I walked around the ladder, poked it, and said "it's really dirty. How old is it?" And the guy said "Old. It's old and dirty. Like me." And he laughed, his brother laughed and I laughed. It was pretty funny. The guy was pretty old. So we joked and haggled over the other items and by the time Drek came back it cost us $56 total for everything plus a few more things. And we had made a friend.

Lesson learned:
Not-buying things new from stores is great. It takes more time, more creativity, but it also saves money, is more rewarding and is way more fun. I'm so glad I did this. I consider it a highly successful endeavor. I strongly recommend it to everyone. Especially Americans living in America.

I want to make this a permanent part of my life. Of course, there will have to be exceptions: It's ridiculous to take little things like chalk to an extreme, but the little things add up, so there still needs to be boundaries. As Krisling pointed out in the comments last month: I will need to buy some clothes brand new. And that is fine, as long as there are still boundaries. So I'm not quite sure how it will work: Do I get a certain number of exceptions per month? Should I have a shopping ban every other month? The sustainable answer is just to be cautious and wise about what I buy, but I don't think I'm that point yet. If I hadn't had a month long ban on shopping, I would have bought a clothesline, a couch, an oven, possibly a dryer, and I would have taken a few trips to Wal Mart and made several impulse-buys. That would NOT have been ok! We absolutely cannot afford that right now! The earth cannot handle that kind of consumerism. I cannot get everything I want right now, or I will only want more things right now and be forever miserable. So I need some rules. Suggestions are appreciated!

Come, All Ye Saints of Zion, And Let us Praise the Lord

2011-05-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have never considered myself a "church person". As a kid, I usually tried to get out of going to church. As a pre-teen I remember being astonished at the stories my cousin told of things she did on Sunday (you mean it's like another Saturday? You get to do whatever you want? TWO Saturdays?) As a rebellious teenager coming back to church after two years I remember thinking "Three hours? Are they crazy? I'm not sitting still for three hours after a week of classes." Three hours was hard. I squirmed, I tried to get out of it, but mostly I knew church was where I was supposed to be and I was usually dragged there by good people.

I married one of those good people. My husband is awesome. In so many ways, he makes me a better person. One of those ways is by taking me to church every Sunday. Sometimes he drags me, sometimes I'm excited to go, but he makes sure I am where I need to be.

After going to church for a long time, I started to see why church is so important. It came slowly, week by week, year by year, but I understand more and more what people mean when they say they look forward to church. They feel recharged by church, refreshed by the classes and renewed by the Sabbath. I understand more and more the yearning people have for Sunday, for a day of rest, for church and for learning the gospel. The more I went to church, the more I understood why I went to church.

Today I am sick. So is my daughter and my husband. So we stayed home, fearing we would spread our sickness to the entire congregation. At first I was excited, even a little giddy: "Hooray! A we get to stay home today! Drek is letting me stay home!" But then I was sad, and, startlingly, I even missed church. I find myself yearning for that spiritual renewal. I know church with a toddler is ridiculous and I'm either in the halls or in nursery anyway, but even still, there is a peace there that builds me up. It recharges me for the week. It gives my hope. It keeps me going. It has taken me a long time to find that peace, to recognize it, but I am so glad I did. I'm so glad I have church. I can't wait to go next week.

Dude, You've Got Some Artz on You

2011-05-19T15:50:00.000-07:00

The oven/stove range that came with the house was very scary when we moved into this house. It looked like it hadn't been cleaned in, well, ever. The bottom drawer was filled with spiderwebs and dead bugs and the outside had a thick coat of grime that proved very difficult to remove.

When we had the gas company come out to turn on our gas, the guy came inside to inspect the gas oven/stove. He informed me that two of the burners had broken igniters. He also commented that the stove/oven was very old and I should think about replacing it.

I did think about replacing it. I thought about it a lot. After the gas guy left, I did two things: One, I put a lighter by the stove so I could manually light the burners (works great!) and two, I called the home warranty company to see if out oven/stove was under warranty. It was! So we payed the fifty-five dollars to have a repairman come look at it.

While we waited, I discovered that the oven never reaches the programmed temperature. It also makes the house smell very strongly of gas when we turn on the oven, and anything we cook it the oven, tastes like gas. This made the safety of the oven highly suspect and I decided to exclusively use my small, counter-top, electric toaster-oven. It bakes, it toasts, it broils, it even turns off after the timer dings (meaning I can leave the house while something is cooking). I can't bake a whole loaf of bread, but I can bake mini ones. I can't fit in a whole cookie sheet, but I can do several batches. It works out just fine.

The oven repairman discovered: One, the stove/oven is filthy. Two: the oven is broken. Three, two of the burners had broken igniters. Four, the stove is so old and rusted that in order to repair anything, the whole stove has to be replaced. Five: mice has chewed through several of the wires. He recommended I get a new stove/oven. I told him I agreed and he should make sure he passes that recommendation along to the warranty company.

While I waited for an answer, I continued to cook on my stove by manually lighting the burners, and bake in my little toaster oven.

The answer was no. One tiny bite mark one any wire automatically disqualifies the entire stove/oven from warranty.

So I decided to finally clean my stove/oven. It took several hours, and some scratches and stains couldn't be fixed, but it looks much, much better. I got used to the idea that my stove/oven has personality, if not functionality. I decided I would replace my stove/oven, it would just take a few years.

A few days ago I decided to call up the repairman and ask how much he would charge to come out and fix just the stove part. He nearly had a heart attack: "WHAT?! You are still using that death trap? It's dangerous! It CANNOT be repaired! Don't you realize that every time you manually light the stove you are playing with your LIFE? IT COULD EXPLODE! You are lucky it hasn't already exploded! It will explode your kitchen! It will explode your house! It will explode YOU! You cannot ever, EVER use it again!

Oh. Good to know.

But I cook. A lot. And even though I enjoy cooking, I don't really enjoy gambling with my life every time I cook. Although I can see the draw: EXTREME COOKING: Feel the heat. I could start my own reality cooking show. Learn new techniques, get new recipes and watch the contestants explode! Last cook not-on-fire wins!

We can't afford to buy a new stove/oven right now (or anytime soon) but I can't NOT use a stove (maybe now is a good time to go RAW? Is the universe trying to force me into a new life choice?) Thankfully, my mom had it covered. She shipped me a "Space Saving Buffet Warming Electric Double Burner" which is basically two stove burners that you but on your counter and they act just like a stove.

So now I have an electric counter-top stove, and an electric counter-top oven. It's a good thing my new kitchen has plenty of counter space.

2011-05-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Ok, my faithful blog readers, you may want to sit down (but, really, who surfs the Internet standing up?).

Acouchi is missing. Presumed dead. Presumed eaten by a coyote. She's been gone for over a week.

I'm sure she's much happier now than she was here. At least she's not sick anymore. And in some ways, I think becoming prey is a better way for an animal to die than to die slowly of kidney or heart failure.

And I assume she had a good, long life. I had for almost seven years, and she was full-grown when we got her, so I'm assuming she was old.

No, I will not be getting another cat. Acouhi is one-of-a-kind and I will not even attempt to replace her.

Whoa. Talk About Your Fixer-Upper

2011-05-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been very productive. Drek's dad came to stay with us for a few days to help fix up our house. I'm astonished at how much he did. On Thursday the missionaries came over to help us in our yard. Drek's brothers also helped us with some stuff, and Drek completed quite a few projects. I think it's safe to say that our fixer-upper home has been turned into a fixed-up home! We still have projects that need done, but all those projects are optional. Our house doesn't repairs anymore, now it just needs improvements!

Well, besides our yard. Our "lawn" is made out of weeds in the front yard, and dead straw in the backyard. We do have landscaping plans to make our yard beautiful, but those will have to wait a few months. Maybe a year. Maybe two years. Ok, probably two years at least. But we'll get there.

After a month and a half of living in this house, we are officially moved-in and fixed-up! Now for the parties...

It Wouldn't Be an Irrational Fear of Bees If I Could Just Pull Myself Together, Would It?

2011-05-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

I have a very vivid childhood memory of going to a playground with my sister and seeing a daddy long leg spider. My sister told me that daddy long leg spider's mouths are too small to bite humans, so we found a few more and let them crawl all over us. I remember thinking it was fun to watch the spider move and to look at it up close.

A few years later (still a young child, I'm thinking maybe ten?) I was playing a computer game in which the last level had you battling a giant spider. The game was in first-person perspective, and I remember freezing up: my heart raced, I began to shake and my thinking became fuzzy to the point where I couldn't play. I lost, and of course, tried the level again with the same results. After a few more tries and a lot of "What in the world is wrong with me?" I realized I just might have arachnophobia.

I don't know where it came from, although after reading a few books on childhood phobias I could hazard a guess. But ever since then I have an irrational fear of spiders. It's a very physical response: I immediately jump into fight-or-flight mode. But from repeated nightmares about spiders, I've also developed a metal response: AHHH! SPIDER! Run away before my body has time to physically react and/or I have a nightmare about it tonight!

Sometimes I wonder if it's become an all-mental thing. A few times as a teenager I tried to touch a spider; to let a daddy long leg spider crawl over me like I did in the park with my sister. I'll take a deep breathe and tell myself that it's fine, but the anxiety hits, I'll start shaking, my heart will race and my vision will become blurred. It's really weird.

If anything can cure me of my arachnophobia, it's this new house: There are spiders everywhere. When we first looked at this house: I walked into the guest bathroom and a huge spider came down from the ceiling right in front of my face. I did not go back into that bathroom until we had lived here for over a month.

In one twenty-four hour period, I killed five spiders, most of them outside. In another twenty-four hour period, I saw four spiders inside the house. Besides the spider in the bathroom, I've been handling it well: I kill them quickly with no physical response or I yell for Drek to come take care of it. I started, once again, to wonder if I was getting over my arachnophobia.

Today I was brushing my hair when I felt something tickle my arm. I looked down and there was a giant black spider crawling up my arm to my shoulder. The response was immediate and automatic. There was no thinking involved: I screamed louder than I have ever screamed before, brushed the spider off my arm and jumped up onto the bathtub in one fast motion. Drek came running in to save me.

Afterward, it took me a long time to calm down. It's been a few hours and I still jump every time I fell the smallest tickle.

So, still working on it.

Because a Cat's the Only Cat Who Knows Where It's At

2011-05-11T13:02:00.000-07:00

I'm a cat person. It's not that I don't like dogs; I do, I think dogs are great and I love to play with them, but there is something about a cat that is mesmerizing. I love how they walk, I love how they purr, I love their eyes and their claws; I just love cats. Especially big cats.

That made our trip to the zoo yesterday even more exciting: we were finally going to go see the big cats:

I'm glad the camera was pointed at the Jaguar, because I wasn't looking. I was transfixed on this amazing animal four feet away from my face. It actually stopped and looked me in the eyes. It was amazing.

Right after the leopard, we we spotted a squirrel up in a tree. The squirrel isn't an exhibit at the zoo, but it was fun to see him anyway:

You Need a Mother Very, Very Badly!

2011-05-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

Drek got me flowers for Mother's Day:

And chocolate:

and a homemade card. And he made me breakfast. Best husband ever.

At church today they gave me a king-size Symphony Bar. It was awesome.

Also at church the Relief Society president said something I wanted to share: She said that Eve was called "the mother of all living" before she ever bore a child. All women have this sacred calling from God, whether or not they have children in this life. God has given all women gifts of empathy, selflessness, and a nurturing spirit. So even if a women isn't nurturing her children, she is nurturing God's children, and that makes her a mother. So Happy Mother's Day to all women everywhere.

Here is a great article on Mothers.

And Happy Mother's Day to my wonderful mother, grandmothers, and mother-in-law.

But, Honest! He Said Just to Mention His Name. So, Start Mentioning Name, Rodent

2011-05-07T19:35:00.000-07:00

Our backyard is home to all sorts of creatures. We found a sparrow's nest with newly hatched baby chicks, there is a lone chicken than wanders in and out, and there all a lot of these really ugly things Drek calls ground squirrels. Acouchi loves ground squirrels:

¡Ven Conmigo! ¡Te Mostraré las Maravillas de la Galaxia, y Juntos Lucharemos Contra el Despiadado Zurg!

2011-05-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

My romance with minimalism has lead me to spend a lot of time thinking about my kitchen; the stuff the occupies it, how often I am in it, the time I spend preparing meals and what I get out of it.

I think I spend a lot of time cooking. My average dinner takes about an hour of hands-on work, and several hours of "let dough rest" or "soak beans" or "allow to rise" or "marinate" and such. I usually start making dinner around noon. Is it worth it? I love to cook, but I do I love it that much?

I do love the results: delicious, healthy meals and a feeling of a job well done. But can I get those same results with less effort? With less time?

I decided to try: I've been browsing the Internet for vegetarian crock-pot recipes and asking friends for their easiest vegetarian recipe. I've made a list of "half an hour or less" meals and started thinking about freezing meals (something I have never done before. I don't even know how). I also asked a few close friends if they wanted to try a dinner swap once a month.

Tonight was the first attempt at a dinner swap. Instead of just exchanging a dinner, we decided that we wanted the social aspect as well; we'll have them over for dinner and the next week they'll have us over for dinner. Tonight they came over to our house. Since it also happened to be Cinco De Mayo, I decided to try something Mexican.

My wonderful grandmother recently gifted me tortilla bowl pans: just place your tortilla in the bowl and bake for a few minutes. I decided to make those:

They turned out great! I filled our taco bowls with sauteed onions and green peppers, black and pinto beans, brown rice, taco TVP (YUM!) fresh lettuce, fresh tomatoes, fresh avocados, and topped with Greek yogurt (my new substitute for sour cream. I can't taste a difference so it works great) and cilantro dressing.
Made-from-scratch virgin margaritas:
and for dessert, my best tres leche cake yet with whipping cream and fresh organic strawberries.

So far so good.

Bang Head Here

2011-05-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I ran a red light. I was turning right at a three-way intersection with a traffic cam. I stopped, but didn't come to a COMPLETE stop. A few weeks later Drek received a letter that said his car had run a red light and the fine was $500. The letter also said the date he needed to appear in court, that another letter would be coming with all the information needed to pay the fine, and that if he wasn't the driver, he should fill out the form and mail it back.

There was no phone number to call with questions in that letter, so I looked up a phone number on line. I called and informed them they had the correct car, just the wrong owner. They told me to fill out the form and mail it in. I told them it was the same address, same phone number, same last name, it was just me and not Drek. I asked if I could pay the fine then. They said to fill out the form and mail it in. So I did.

A few weeks later Drek got the second letter in the mail, giving him his citation number and a special phone number to an automated system to pay his fine. Once again, there was no other phone number listed. So once I again I went online, found a number and called. After spending fifty-eight minutes on hold I finally got through to a guy who told me I had the wrong branch. He gave me another number to call. After spending and hour and five minutes on hold, I asked the guy if they got the form I had mailed in. He said he didn't know and couldn't find out. He looked up the citation and said something had heppened, but he didn't know if that something was the fine was paid, the ticket was cancelled, there was a warrant issued, or my form was recieved. He said I would just have to wait to see if I got a letter in my name. I asked if I could just pay the fine. He said no.

A few weeks later I did get my letter. It told me my court date was April 8th (my birthday) and that I would get another letter with more instructions. I never got that letter. Granted, I was movng at the time, so I could have lost it, but regardless; I woke up on my birthday realizing I never paid the fine. I called a number I found on the internet and talked with a man in the warrant department. He said there was, in fact, a warrent our for my arrest and that I needed to take of this right away. I asked him if I could pay the fine. he said I couldn't pay him, but he did give me my citation number and a phone number for an automated system. He also told me I would probably have to go down to the court house to take of it, and that the court closed at five. He advised me to pay the fine that day, not to wait over the weekend. He said it takes the system a while to process and if I wait until after the weekend, it could be too late.

At three twenty I arrived at the court house to find that they close at three thirty. The girl at the door said they were already closed, she didn't care about my case, she hated her job, her life, and me. I informed her I had cash, a checkbook, a credit card and a debit card; I just needed to pay the fine. She told me they were closed and to get lost.

I walked across the street to the actual court house (not the traffic division) and walked through he front door. Next to the metal detector was two security guards. I informed them I really, really needed to pay a fine. They said to come back on Monday. I told them I had a warrant out for my arrest and just needed to pay a fine. The security guard said if he let me in he would arrest me and take my baby to foster care.

And that's why it was the worst birthday ever.

I left, went home, and decided to call the automated number. The mechanical person told me I could pay my fine. I gave it my credit card number, the expiration date, the security code, and then the recording started over. I wasn't sure if it had worked or not and I didn't have a confirmation code, but there was no one I could call and had no way to check. So I hung up.

Today I got a letter informing me my account had gone to collections, and I now owed a $300 late fee on top of my fine. After spending another forty six minutes on hold, I spoke to a women who said that only way to get the charge reversed was to go to court.

To recap: I was begging them to take my cash, check, or card. I gave them my credit card number, my security code and my expiration date, and they still couldn't figure out to get the money. And people wonder why this state is bankrupt.

What is Goin' on in the Engine Room? Were There Monkeys? Some Terrifying Space Monkeys Maybe Got Loose?

2011-04-29T14:00:00.000-07:00

I came home from my trip to a very wonderful surprise: Drek finished the laundry room floor! He is just that amazing (this post is now updated). We moved the washer in and hooked it up (My washer! Oh, Washing Machine, oh how I have missed you. Oh, how I have longed for this day!) The next day I took the top peak of our mountain of laundry, put it in, and started the wash:

It works! I'm doing laundry at my house! It is amazing!

But that did leave me with a small problem: Our dryer that we have hauled through three moves and four states is electric and our house isn't wired for an electric dryer. The bill to get an outlet for our dryer into our house would be upwards of a thousand dollars, and we just can't do that. Especially since I'm fairly sure our dryer did not survive all that traveling. We could by a new dryer, but is has to either be a propane dryer (super expensive. And also rare). or a gas dryer and we have to convert it to a propane dryer, and that's just a hassle.

Besides, The laundry was in the washer at that moment and it would need to be dried in fifty eight minutes. So I decided to take advantage of our huge backyard and ample sunlight: I've always wanted a clothesline!

And then I realized I couldn't buy a clothesline: I'm not allowed to buy anything new from a store until May 22. I could go to Goodwill and see if they have one, but what are the odds? And I didn't want to take the time to look on Craigs list: I needed a line in fifty eight minutes!

So I got creative:

The people that lived in this house before us were obsessed with TV. Two satellite dishes, and one more satellite dish posted in the front yard the size of a small moon. There are cables in every room of the house. They are ugly cables, and they are useless since Drek and I don't even own a TV.

So I went through the house, cut the cables from the wall, tied them together and...Suddenly I was drying my sheets on a clothesline.

I love it. I am finding that hanging up clothes to dry is very calming. I think it's very therapeutic. I just love it. Maybe we just won't have a dryer.

Never Theorize Before You Have Data. Invariably, You End Up Twisting Facts to Suit Theories, Instead of Theories to Suit Facts

2011-04-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

I spent last week in Hometown and, aside from being apart from Drek, had a great time. It was my niece's birthday and Ash had a wonderful time playing with cousins and spending Easter with grandparents.

I got so spend a little bit of time with my in-laws. Have I mentioned how awesome they are? Well, they are best in-laws anyone could ask for, so pretty awesome.

They have an Easter tradition of hiding Easter Baskets. I mean REALLY hiding them: taped inside of chimneys, screwed under floor vents, tucked up inside light fixtures, hidden under children's booster seats: they go all out. After we had all found our baskets, we were informed where the last remaining baskets were hiding, waiting for their owners to arrive later in the day. Am's basket was hidden inside the back of a clock. While we were discussing if he would ever find it, and guessing how long it would take when Mom said that it was either Am or D that could smell his Christmas presents, if they were food, no matter where she hid them in the house. She couldn't remember if it was Am or D.

Soon Am arrived, and after a delightful dinner, he was told he had a basket and needed to start looking. He casually glanced around the room while he asked "on a scale of one to a thousand, how hard is it to find?"

Even while Dad was answering "eight hundred" Am was walking toward the clock. He casually picked it up and asked "does this thing even open?" but didn't get a response, because all of our mouths were hanging open. He popped out the back of the clock and there was his basket.

"It was Am who could smell his Christmas presents." Mom commented.

Uncanny.

I'll Be The Grandest Bunny in the Easter Parade

2011-04-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

Now that Drek and I are married, and have a child, and have a house, I suppose it's really time to start our own Holiday Traditions. There really isn't anything else to procrastinate for.

This year we talked about how we wanted to celebrate Easter. Drek's favorite part of Easter Saturday is hiding the Easter Baskets. This is where he hid mine this year:

Keep in mind the fan hangs from a vaulted ceiling. I found it, but I couldn't reach it.

My favorite part of Easter preperations is coloring Easter Eggs. This is an egg Ash colored this year:

Acouchi's favorite part is the egg hunt.

She's really good at sniffing those eggs out:

So I think we'll color Easter Eggs a few days before. On Saturday we'll hide and find Easter baskets, and then have an Easter Egg hunt and brunch/lunch/dinner at our house for friends, family and neighbors later in the day. We did that this year and it was so much fun. Hopefully next year we''ll have our yard a bit more presentable.

Sunday we'll get to wear our new clothes (that were in our Easter baskets) to church and try to keep Sunday Easter Celebrations limited to activities focused on Christ. Sounds like a good Easter to me! Now I just need to get organized!

One year we might even be organized enough to celebrate Passover! One year...

If the Earth Dies, You Die

2011-04-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Earth Day!!

This year I was introduced to all sorts of fascinating ideas. The first one was called Global Buckets and is a way to recycle, feed starving people, and grow a garden wherever you happen to be. I decided to try it.

A Global bucket is a version of an Earth Box. An Earth Box is the fancy name of what we tried to make two years ago out of cardboard boxes: basically a very un-fancy raised garden bed with the fancy benefits of being cheap, easy, no weeding, and a lot less watering.

In order to make a global bucket you need two five-gallon buckets. You can buy these, sure. but, you can also get them free at any store with a bakery (besides WalMart). The stores just throw them away, so they are happy to give them to you for free, and you are saving two buckets from ending up in a landfill. Hooray!

You also need:

1" PVC pipe, 24 inches long--$1.67 for a really long piece, I think you can get three out of it
1 plastic cup. I have a collection of odd plastic cups. I buy a package, and then all but three get used, and I save those three. That is what I used for this.
Dirt-- This is the hard part. On the Global Buckets website, they give you a very specific formula of dirt. I went to Home Depot and bought 3 bags for $3.97 each, and that still wasn't enough dirt. That is too expensive for my taste. I am looking for a wholesale way to get special dirt, or I might just use normal dirt.
1 plastic garbage bag
1 plant
zip ties, rubber bands, or string, whatever you have.

Cut or drill a hole in the middle of the bottom of one of the buckets. We'll name that bucket "bucket A". Make the hole big enough for the plastic cup to rest in. Now cut another hole to the side, big enough for the PVC pipe to fit through. Now drill lots of tiny holes so Bucket A looks like this:

top view:
Drill holes three or four in the sides of the other bucket, which we shall name "Bucket B". Evenly space them so they go all around Bucket B:
Now go back to Bucket A. When you put the PVC pipe through the hole, you'll want to tie it to the side of the top of Bucket A. Measure where those holes should be so you can use your zip ties, rubber bands, or string to secure the PVC pipe:
Bucket A, on left, Bucket B on right:
Top view:
Now slice your cup three times, take your dirt, wet it, and fill the cup up with the dirt so it looks like this:
Put Bucket A inside of Bucket B, and put the cup inside Bucket A:
Insert PVC pipe, secure the pipe to the side of the bucket, and fill Bucket A with wet dirt. Compact the dirt in the middle, but leave the dirt around the sides loose:
Plant your plant, and cover with a garbage bag, cutting two holes: one for the plant, one for the PVC pipe:
There you go. Now add sunshine. You can put your bucket on a rooftop, a patio, a balcony, or in a backyard. Supposedly this system is fool-proof, and people in third world countries and make them to grow their own food. I'll let you know how my cherry-tomato plants works out.

Another fascinating idea I found is a minimalist lifestyle, which Drek and I have embraced and are currently working on. I LOVE it. It is actually fun. That lead to doing a bit more research on the Story of Stuff. If you haven't seen that video yet (it was viral a while ago) you really, really should. That lead to Non-consumerism, which I am just starting to get serious about. I think to celebrate Earth Day this year, I will take action! I am not going to buy anything new (besides food, of course) from a store for an entire month (end date May 22). I'm hoping in a month, I can do it again for an entire year, but that scares me, so I'm taking baby steps. So where can I shop? Thrift stores, Craig's List and yard sales of course, but mostly the idea is to really evaluate what I buy: Do I really need it? Really? Is it worth the toll it took on the environment? Do I need it more than the money it costs? Or do I need/want that money to be used for something else? Do I want that item to take up space in my house? Or do I want that space for other things (like nothing: easy to clean, easy to move, easy to replace). If I buy it, will it own me? Will it make my life better?

The last idea was a zero-waste lifestyle. Which after watching that short video, I want. I don't know how, but my end goal is to have four months of trash fit into my hand. I'll let you know how that goes.

"It's Deadly Fun, But Will Sulk in the Sun!" That's it! Devil's Snare Hates Sunlight! Lumos Solem!

2011-04-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

You know what's amazing about this house? The sunlight. It's been a while since I've had sunlight in my house.

This house has lots of big windows, especially in the kitchen. This is the view from the window over the sink. It looks out onto our backyard, and you can see our neighbor's chickens, geese, and pigeons. And also our horrible lawn that hasn't been mowed in three months.

This is the view from the sliding glass door, also in the kitchen, also looking into our backyard. You can see our sad fence.
close up:

A few days ago there was a chicken loose in our backyard. I've also seen a bunny, a mouse (being chased by Acouchi) and a hawk. I love our backyard. So does Acouchi.

The amazing thing about having sunlight in our kitchen is that my bread actually rises! I had no idea that was the missing factor! Sunlight! It works miracles. Here are my breadsticks:
See? Amazing. No wonder my bread wouldn't rise for the past three years! I can see lots of fresh baked bread in the future of this kitchen.

Chicken in the yard:

Raise Your Head Up, Lift High the Load Take Strength From Those that Need You Build High the Walls, Build Strong the Beams

2011-04-11T13:49:00.000-07:00

This house was built the same year I was born. When we had a general contractor come over to look at the house, his first reaction was: "Wow, I hope you guys got a really good deal on this place." It was that bad. He then went on to explain how at twenty-five, things just break. It's an age where everything just falls apart and stops working. I told him my birthday was in a few weeks and I was taking that personally.

But he was right. Our house was an REO, meaning it was a foreclosure. It had been a rental for several years before that. So, imagine a house with twenty-five year old carpet, that had several renters in and out. Now imagine these renters are teenage partying boys with no personal hygiene. Now picture that the carpet wasn't installed right in the first place, and was fraying, coming up and just all over gross. It was the kind of carpet that made you sick to look at. It was bad.

Master Bedroom before:

Master Bedroom after:

Guest Room Before:

After:

Drek's office before:

Drek's office after:

The Hallway before:

After:

There was also the scary carpet in the front room:

We decided not to put carpet back down. Instead, we ripped up the carpet in the front room:

gathered supplies:
and did the laminate ourselves. We had a laminate-laying party one night and got HUGE help from our friends. Drek finished it the next day.

Beautiful, no?

Laundry Room:

We tore up the carpet in the laundry room:

and Drek installed the new floor. We moved the washer in:

Cleaned up and fixed the desk:

And then Drek installed cupboards!

It Stands To Reason We Deserve It Too

2011-04-10T23:04:00.000-07:00

I feel kinda sorry for Birthdays. People have such high expectations for birthdays, they are measured with such high standards and that must be stressful for them. They have so much to live up to; always in the shadow of that first big grand birthday when a tiny baby is given the miracle of life. It's hard to top that, or even match that. A day can be a normal day, or even a better than average day, but if that day is a birthday, it's a bad birthday.

The actual day of my birthday was actually quite awful: a horrible day by any standards. So I won't even try to measure it with birthday standards. Instead, I'm going to focus on the day a few days before me birthday, which was a fantastic day. When measured with birthday standards it comes out on top: one of the best birthdays ever. That was the day I learned that my friends are first-rate actresses.

A trip was planned to visit the Gardens. I was invited and wanted to go, so I went. To my delight, everyone else decided to come too! It's very rare that we get all four of us on an outing with all the children in tow. The gardens were beautiful, everyone seemed to be having a great time and I took some fun pictures:

Once we got to a good picnic spot I lined up all eight of the children (fifteen months to six years) and tried to get a picture with all of them looking at the camera, which is no small feat. I was so busy concentrating I didn't realize the adults sneaking up behind me with balloons and a birthday cake. I turned around and everyone yelled surprise! I was stunned! I had no idea this outing was by birthday party! It was the very first successfull surprise party (and second attempted) I've ever had. It was amazing. I really had no idea, that's how good my friends are at acting. Really. Hollywood better watch out.

Something About Tentacles, Got It. On Your Mark, Get Set, Go!

2011-04-08T13:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm twenty-five today.

For a long time I would mistakenly group myself in the "teenage" category. When I saw a teenager walking around I would describe them as "my age" even though I was twenty three and twenty four. I just still felt like a teenager, I guess. Several months ago someone asked me how old I was an my first instinct was to reply "Nineteen." But I stopped myself and answered with the correct answer.

Sometimes I still feel really young, like when my real estate agent offered my champagne; It took me a second to realize I actually was old enough to drink it. But for the most part, I now think of myself as an adult. I should; After all, I'm married, I have a toddler, I own a home, a car, and a retirement account. I have bills to pay and meals to plan, shop for, and cook. I know all sorts of boring things about car insurance and health insurance. That's an adult, right?

I think the hardest part of being an adult is that people expect me to pay attention when they are talking about boring things. Adults don't really expect teenagers or children to listen, but they assume adults are listening. I've had to catch myself a few times: "Self! Pay attention! He's talking about which forms you need to send to buy this house! This is important!" or "Self! This guy is talking about how to get your car fixed after the wreck! You need to know this!"

Even worse is when other adults want boring information out of me.

Real adult: "So why hasn't your house closed"

Me: "The lender is lazy."

Real Adult: "No, really. What exactly is going on?"

Me: "Well, the lending agent mistaking thought that once her job was over, we could close immediately, but really, after the lending agent, the paperwork has to go through a closing agent, then the title company, then back to the closing agent, then back to the title company, then we can sign, then the title company and the closing agent have to agree on the closing fees, APR, interest rate, and concessions, then it can be submitted to the county, and twenty-four hours later we can record. After that we can officially close and get the keys. Aren't you impressed that I know so many big and important words?"

Real Adult: "So are you still in escrow? What stage are you in?"

Me: "Does this seriously interest you? Because it's my house we are talking about and I'm already asleep. Oh, look! Something shiny!"

But most of the time I think other adults are just as board as I am, they are just being polite while I am pretending to be an adult. Sigh.

But I know I am an adult now, because subjects that I used to find boring, I now devour. Last week NPR (Yes, I listen to NPR. See how adult I am?) broadcasted a segment on taxes, and I turned it up and parked so I could pay close attention to what they were saying. I was very interested in what they were saying, but at the same time I was making fun of myself (Taxes? Really?). I am now immensly interested in budgets, both mine, my states, and the government budget. I love to hear how other people budget, what they budget for and how much, and in what way the government has failed to budget this quarter. Where did that interest come from?

And to top it all off, I am now old enough to rent a car. For a while there I was trusted with a child, a cat, a household, a mortgage and a bank account, but I could not be trusted with a rental car. Odd.

So, in conclusion: I'm twenty-five! I am not upset (is not getting upset over birthdays a maturity thing?). In fact, I am glad I am twenty-five. It sounds like a nice age to be.

I Know That the Drop Off is Desirable With the Great Schools and the Amazing View and All, But Do We Really Need so Much Space?

2011-04-02T10:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, so you might have caught on that the pictures are not of our new house. They are actually pictures of Celebrity's mansions. That's Charlize Theron's Bedroom, Justin Long's Kitchen, Mel Gibson's backyard...yeah, you get the idea.

But, we did actually close on our house yesterday. We met our real estate agent at our new house and he got out of his car filming us with his iphone and holding a bottle of champagne to celebrate the big moment. As he walked toward us with the champagne a whole conversation ran through my head:

AAAAHHH!! He's offering me Alcohol! What do I do? What do I do?! Okay, Don't panic. Stay calm. He obviously thinks I am an adult. Oh wait, I just bought a house. I am an adult. Should I tell him I don't drink? How about I just smile an accept it graciously. Okay. Go.

This coming a few days after this conversation with Drek:

Drek: "If we close while I am on my business trip you might just want to rent a U-haul and start moving some boxes over by yourself."

Me: "I can't rent a U-haul."

Drek: "Why not?"

Me: "You have to be twenty-five. I'm too young. They won't let me drive. I can't rent a car either."

More about that weird age thing next week. But this post is about the house: We now own a house. We have the keys. We are moving on Monday. The carpet is being installed today and Monday. I'll post before and after pictures when it's all done and then you can see how very different those pictures are from the pictures I posted yesterday.

So, anyone know any good recipes for cooking with Champagne?

Home Sweet Home

2011-04-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

Great News!! We got the call today that our house is finally our house. Phew! Never doing that again.

But, anyway. I thought I better post the photos of the house up on my blog. So here is the photo tour of our new house!

The entryway:

The house we bought is an REO, meaning it was sold as-is. So all the furniture is included.

My favorite room, the kitchen:
(Don't you just love the double range oven and huge kitchen island?

The bedroom:
Very simple: only one fireplace, nothing to elaborate.

But the bathroom is perfect, don't you think?
To the left is the walk in shower.

The backyard:
and last but no least, the pool room:

Do you like it?

2011-03-31T14:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got a call from a member of our lender's "Customer Dissatisfaction Team." Hey, here's a tip: If your lender has a whole team devoted to correcting mistakes and smoothing over angry customers, and that company would rather pay that team rather than just have capable employees avoiding dissatisfied customers, that might be a good sign to avoid that company entirely.

And it's still not over. At the beginning of this house buying nightmare, I was assigned an agent from the lender to work with. I worked with her until last week, when I started working with her boss, because she was so entirely incompetent. And by that, I mean twenty days AFTER she was supposed to have all her work done, she gave up and gave the work to her boss. I had actually spoken to her boss before and he didn't seem any better at his job than she was at hers. But since he was higher up the ladder, I thought he could help. I was wrong. Three days after their final deadline (which they did not make because...well, I don't know why they won't do their jobs. They procrastinate? They really hate paperwork? I have no idea what is taking them so long) He left a message on my voice mail:

"Would you contact the title company? I haven't got anything back from them for the for the final settlement statement, I've tried contacting them several times this morning and they just aren't responding. They really are slowing this whole process down. If you could call them and get on that, that would help things speed along."

Yeah. Besides his blatent attempt to pass the blame to someone else, the problem was a time difference: The title company wasn't open yet. It was too early in the morning. And why couldn't he have "tried contacting them several times" the day before?

After that I started working with his boss, who is a bit more helpful.

This morning I called the title company to ask if we had a closing date yet. She responded that they needed one more thing approved by the lender, and the lender wasn't responding. At this point, I lost it. Instead of calling the lender, I called my real estate agent. In between flashes of rage, hopelessness and desperation, I left him a message about how I refused to ever talk to anyone from the lender again, and how it was like having a ten year old child who won't do their homework. I informed him I would no longer call them to coax them into doing their own job, that I was done trying, and if that meant we didn't get the house than I didn't want the house. Period.

An hour later I call back from my real estate agent, who apparenly had taken pity on me and called the lender to go on a yelling spree with good results: We are funded (a big step in the right direction) we finally have a last possible day to close (for real this time) and there is even a chance we will have the keys to our new house tomorrow. Yes, that's right: tomorrow. Cross your fingers.

Fires of Besowin

2011-03-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

Did you know you can go read novels on Amazon for free? You can go read the first three thousand words of the novels entered into the Amazon Breakthrough competition. I recommend this novel:

http://www.amazon.com/Fires-of-Besowin-ebook/dp/B004TEYGXA/

It is awesome.

2011-03-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

So remember how I said that after seven months of looking, I found a house I wanted to buy? I changed my mind. I don't want to buy that house anymore. I don't want to buy any house anymore. Ever.

This has been the wost experience of my life. At first it started off as stressful, but exciting; There big decisions to be made, but Drek and I handled them and it looked like things were moving along. It was the first of March that things rapidly went downhill. We were supposed to have an answer from our lender on March 7. After weeks of me calling them DAILY, leaving messages, emailing, begging, threatening, pleading, flattering, blackmailing (okay, I'm exaggerating on that last one) they FINALLY gave us an answer on March 22. Two weeks and a day late. The answer was positive though: we got the loan! The house was ours! Or not: See, when we signed the offer, the seller had us sign that March 25th was the very last day we could close, or we couldn't buy the house. Basically, they gave us so many days to get our act together, and if we couldn't, then they didn't want to work with us.

Well, it wasn't us who couldn't get our act together. For over a month we have been waiting on the lender. For over a month they have done...nothing. They are entirely incompetent. They failed their goal of closing on the 25th. Miserably. In fact, today is the 29th and we STILL haven't closed. We are STILL waiting on the lender. Even worse, their only answer this whole time, starting the first week in March, was "We're working on it! We'll get it done as soon as possible!" So we still don't have any idea when we'll close. Best guess is Friday. An even better guess is two months from now, or when pigs fly.

This whole time we've been waiting on them. This whole time we keep thinking that we'll close "in just a few days". So this whole time we've scheduled plumbers, contractors and carpet guys to come fix our house, but we keep having to reschedule because we still don't own it. We've reserved U-hauls and had people lined up to help us move, but have had to cancel because don't have a place to move to. This whole time I've been packing, and then repacking because I don't know when we are actually moving.

Up until March 24th, we didn't know if the seller would still work with us. Since we signed an agreement that said we would close by March 25, we didn't know if they would back out. Last week, on March 24th, things were really bad. Here was the scene:

We told our landlords we would be out of our apartment on March 25 (because we thought we would have an answer on March 7, close on March 11, fix up the house and then have plenty of time to move our stuff over to the new house in a nice, relaxed fashion. Hah) and our lender was still telling us that they could make the deadline and we would close on March 25 and get the keys that same day. We asked our landlords if we could stay just one more day. They said yes! So we told the contractors to come on Friday to make the house livable, then we rented a U-haul for March 26th. We asked people to help us move and lay the flooring on the tht same day. Everything was ready to go. BUT, I still believe the lenders. They had been telling the same thing for three weeks! I didn't think we would close on the 25th, and I didn't think the sellers would still work with us after that, but we had to be out of our apartment...

So I went looking around at other apartments. I found a great place with a floorplan I liked. I called them up and asked if we showed up on the 26th with a U-haul could we move in? They said yes, so I didn't cancel the U-haul or the help. I figured I was moving, I just didn't know if I was moving into a house that I owned, or an apartment that we were renting.

Well, I was right that the lender wouldn't make it, but I was wrong about the seller. The seller gave us an extension: on the night of March 24th the seller said they would still work with us, IF we closed before April. So now our closing date is in April. Can we still buy the house? I don't know.

I wish we had moved into that apartment. I don't want the house anymore. This whole thing is a nightmare. I would rather rent the rest of my life then ever go through this again, or go through it now. I would rather live in a cardboard box under a bridge then go through this.

So, here is my recommendation to you: If you want to buy a house, save up money in a fancy briefcase. When you think you have enough, find a house you like, knock on the door, and tell the owner you will give them the briefcase full of money if they will vacate the premise within two weeks. That might be better. Maybe.

Candy Doesn't Have to Have a Point. That's Why It's Candy

2011-03-27T19:11:00.000-07:00

It's been cold here and very wet. Yesterday it was a bit sunnier so we decided to go have a little beach side fire with tinfoil dinners and marshmallows.
The recipe was a bit new:

Two Ritz crackers + 2 mini chocolate kisses

roast a marshmallow and sandwich it in between. It is both salty, and sweet.
It's very good. Although, I tried it with a gingerbread-flavored marshmallow and liked it even more. It was like Christmas in my mouth. We might have to start roasting marshmallows on Christmas eve.

And then we heard sea lions barking, so we went to investigate:
They were sleeping, so they let us get really, really close to take pictures. Not close enough to touch, but still, I was only a few feet away:

Not a bad way to spend a Saturday in March.

You Know, I Care About My Carbon Footprint, but Most People Out There are Making Carbon Snow Angels

2011-03-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Confession: When I was little (like, ten) I wanted my future husband to be a carpenter so he could build my daughters a dollhouse. Okay, it might have been so he could build me a dollhouse. I've always wanted a wooden dollhouse. I'm not sure if my obsession started with reading The Dollhouse Murders, but I do remember loving that book and reading it several times (I was a very morbid child). When my mom would go to the craft store, I would spend hours in the miniatures aisle dreaming about each tiny piece of furniture and how I would fit it into my dream doll house.

Anyway. A few weeks ago I went looking on Craigslist and came across an ad for a consignment sale. I had heard of them, but wasn't quite sure what they were, so I checked it out. Here is it in a nutshell: I go through my kid's clothes and toys and take out anything with rips, stains, or anything faded. The remaining stuff I tag and drop off. My stuff is sold alongside everyone else's stuff. I get 60% of my profits. At the end of the time, I go back and pick up everything that didn't sell. It's like a garage sale, but you have a lot more prep work and you don't have to sit there and sell stuff; that part is done for you.

I love the idea. Buy stuff for cheap, sell old stuff and get some cash. It's a lot easier to find the clothes I want because the selection is huge, and all of it is like-new condition. It's just as great as shopping in a store, except everything is cheap, I'm giving my money to moms instead of big corporations, AND it's not new, so it's better for the planet, the economy, my wallet and...well, everyone wins.

And, since you are selling stuff, you get to go in before the general public and see if there is anything you want to buy from other sellers. This is where I bought Ash's pants. I also bought a few dresses, a few books, a few toys, and...

This:

A wooden dollhouse. I know! I know! It was a silly purchase. My kid is way too young, and it's just taking up space and blah blah blah. But I've always wanted a wooden dollhouse and look how perfect it is:
It opens up, the roof comes off, all the shutters and doors open and close, and there was even some cute little furniture pieces:

Oh, I love it.

(Isn't my quote so clever?!)

So Long Thy Power Hath Blest Me, Sure it Still Will Lead Me On

2011-03-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

About five years ago, or is it six? How old am I? Too old. Anyway. A while ago, in March, I decided my life...well, sucked. I was miserable. I wasn't doing what I wanted to be doing and when I asked myself what I wanted to be doing in five or six years, I could clearly see that my life was not headed in that direction. What did I want? I wanted to be married to a great guy who loved me. I wanted a baby I could sing to sleep with Primary hymns and lullabies. I wanted to have peace. I wanted to have hope. I wanted to find happiness.

So I changed. I changed a lot. I cut off ties, I made new ones, I dropped bad habits and tried to start new, better ones. A big part of that change was to go back to church, a place I had not been in a year. I needed directions on how to get where I wanted to be, and I thought going to church could help. I remember how tough that first year was. I wasn't sure of myself, I had a very, very hard time sitting through church meetings and I spent a lot of time trying to distract myself. But I kept at it. I healed a lot. I changed a lot. I grew a lot. Church did help. The gospel gave me those directions, encouraged me, helped me, guided me. Somewhere along the line I could actually sit through three hours of church meetings. Somewhere along the line I started wanting to go to church.

And then, today, as I sat in Sacrament meeting with my awesome, super-good-looking husband who loves me and my beautiful, perfect little baby whom I sing to sleep at night with lullabies and Primary hymns, I realized something: Oh my gosh, I made it. I'm here. This is what I wanted all those years ago. I wanted to sit here, just like I am, and want to be in church. I wanted to listen to the speaker and be blown away by the peace, love and happiness I felt. I wanted to feel the spirit so strong that I knew, without a doubt, that God loves me, personally. The speaker today gave such an amazing talk, And yet, I'm not sure if it was that his talk was really that awesome, or if I was just finally ready.

I can't even express how grateful I am for what I have. I can't begin to express how much I love the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I can't begin to tell you how much peace, hope, love and true happiness it has brought me. It is amazing. A true miracle.

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